I don't know what to do any more. 7yo weed on my pillow

[purpleangel17]

Tonight my 7yo daughter started off by kicking her 9yo sister. I told her to stop, she did it more. I blocked her and she treated it like a game, running round me to kick her again and hit her on the arm, hard. I told my 9yo to go upstairs and I closed the living room door and sat in front of it so my 7yo couldn't go up. She started hitting and kicking and biting me. I gave her a warning then a consequence. She didn't care. Eventually she hit me so hard I cried out and then she started crying and calmed down. She watched some TV then at bedtime she decided to empty a cup of water all over the bathroom floor. I told her that was naughty and no bedtime cuddles now. I went downstairs because I needed some space from her. She then decided to wee all over my pillow and bed on purpose. Initially she thought it was funny and said I deserved it because I was mean and that I should kill myself. Eventually when I got upset I think she was ashamed as she hid her head and wouldn't look at me. She is now in bed asleep and I just feel completely useless as a mum. I don't know how to control her. I don't know why my daughter thinks it's ok to wee on my bed. I don't want social services involved but I just feel like no one can help. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Well the OP has a good understanding of what her child does understand. Unless diagnosed or displaying symptoms other then naughty behaviour there's no reason to assume ASD. Also many kids with ASD still develop understanding of acceptable behaviour, some may not but it's not always right to assume ASD is hand in hand with piss protests and aggression etc. My nephew has severe ASD he isn't aggressive in this way at all, he may lash out over a hair cut due to sensory issues and fear but contrived naughtiness is not a sign of ASD hmm

The 'how to talk so that kids will listen' books are fantastic. I'm not normally a great believer in self help books but I felt this one was super practical.

Funnyonion - an OT and the OP both suspect ASD so there is reason to assume ASD.

No one is saying that the op's DD shouldnt be taught acceptable behaviour but 'putting the frightners' on her by threatening her with social services and the police will probably be completely ineffective and possibly damaging in the long term.
The same way if your nephew lashed out due to sensory issues over a haircut-threatening him with the police and SS as saying lashing out should not be tolerated under any circumstances would not be the right thing to do.

There is nothing to back up that this IS contrived naughtiness though. OP and an OT suspect ASD, so so we can't just rule it out.

And I get it, you know a child with autism. So you know ONE child with autism.

The fact is, is that some children do have aggression & violence that is related to autism. In fact, my friend (with the violent dd) was told that girls with autism do use violence and running away as a coping mechanism. It is part of the fight or flight aspect of anxiety that sadly goes hand-in-hand with ASD.