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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

please help me get my children to be quiet in the morning

50 replies

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 09:04

We love in a semi detached house. My children are so noisy we moved to this house from a terrace so they could have a room each. Every morning they wake up, go into one room and play loudly. Every day for years I am woken at 6am . My neighbour is woken and I'm so embarrassed about that. Threats (which I follow through) don't work. Keeping them up late doesn't work. Talking to them doesn't work. They are nearly 8, what more can I do? Expectation is they read or play quietly in their rooms until 7:30, with going to the toilet allowed.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:22

Anyone?

OP posts:

Gizlotsmum · 07/05/2017 10:23

Sorry same issue. We try to remind them about inside voices but they are still loud!

Josieannathe2nd · 07/05/2017 10:24

I think for a while you need to get up with them, sit in their room & supervise them doing quiet activities until they learn. Maybe be realistic by starting with 20 mins then building up. I'm not sure that any children will ever play quietly by themselves for 90 minutes though!

Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:24

I guess at least I'm not alone. It's driving me slowly crazy. At their age I would wake early and read a book or quietly watch tv downstairs but they are incapable of either

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 07/05/2017 10:25

Change the "threats". At that age you should expect them to do as they are asked.
Get up with them to ensure quiet. Don't leave them to wake the neighbours.

juneau · 07/05/2017 10:25

I'd lose my shit completely if my kids did this. Even my 5-year-old knows to be quiet in the morning. Waking the neighbours at 6am every day is completely unacceptable. I'd be taking away things they really care about until the message strikes home, if it were me.

juneau · 07/05/2017 10:26

Perhaps take them downstairs too. Is there a room away from the party wall where they could go and do something quiet every morning?

thepatchworkcat · 07/05/2017 10:27

"Threats (which I don't follow through)" might be part of your problem. If you say there will be a consequence, then it needs to happen or they just won't take you seriously.

Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:28

We get up with them when they are being noisy, but I can guarantee that as soon as they have woken me they have woken the neighbour's as well! What threats would work? We take away computer and screen time, their favourite toys etc but they don't seem to be able to be quiet. Trying to discipline then in the morning makes them shout louder at us. If I say be quiet they shout at me. I'm running out of options.

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Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:29

The patchworkcat please read op. I follow up every threat. I don't make false threats ever.

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CiderwithBuda · 07/05/2017 10:30

Thepatchworkcat - op says she does follow through!

Op - I would get up with them for a bit and let them watch tv quietly. I'd sit with a cuppa and a book. Any noise they go back to bed. Their own bed in their own room door shut. They are definitely old enough to understand they need to be quiet in the mornings,

KnockMeDown · 07/05/2017 10:37

What are they actually doing that is so noisy? Are they this noisy all the time, or are there activities that they are able to do quietly? And perhaps getting them to stay in their own rooms until a certain time could work?

Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:41

Knockmedown please let me know how I keep them in there own rooms? They have been told every night to stay in their own rooms but apparently they get lonely. We moved house so they could have a room each. They seem to think playing guitar is football is a great 6am game. They have beeb told every night reading or playing Lego or cars alone are good early morning games. I have male twin boys that are the best of friends and the worst of enemies at the same time.

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KnockMeDown · 07/05/2017 10:47

Have you tried taking the guitar and the football away? How do you discipline them on other matters? But at the end of the day (or the start lol ) you are the adult and need to police and enforce what you say.

KnockMeDown · 07/05/2017 10:50

And if they are lonely then they get a choice, play quietly together, or back to their own rooms. At their age they should be following instructions like that without question!

Original poster

mailfuckoff · 07/05/2017 10:52

Guitar taken away. Football was a teddy bear. I am the parent and my children are disciplined but I was looking for other options. How do you discipline children that don't care about stuff or future events and have no self control?

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Empireoftheclouds · 07/05/2017 10:54

They seem to think playing guitar is football is a great 6am game. perhaps if you got up with them this would eliminate the possibility of them playing guitar at 6am.

Your children must be damn loud to wake the neighbours; they are out of control because they have been left without parental supervision.

Just get out of bed, it really is that simple.

Empireoftheclouds · 07/05/2017 10:55

Your children don't need discipline, they need structure and supervision

coolaschmoola · 07/05/2017 11:02

It really is a case of if your children cannot be trusted to behave then it's your responsibility, as the parent, to get up! 6am IS morning.

I get up at 6am every day to get ready for work and my child ready to drop at the childminder. Most of my friends and colleagues do the same. 6am is not the middle of the night.

RosesTulipsDaffodils · 07/05/2017 11:03

How about creating an "activity basket" next to their beds with activities to do in the morning. I did this for a while and it worked well. I just put in there different sets of coloring things, sticker books etc (it was all things they already had but when I put 3-4 things in the basket next to their bed, it was more obvious and attractive for them to play with).

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 07/05/2017 11:10

Why aren't you getting up at the same time as them and supervising them from the off? Surely that would be the start of getting some control back.

juneau · 07/05/2017 11:31

At 8-years-old they really should be able to understand WHY they need to be considerate. Do you have behavioural worries about them more generally, because I'm shocked that they don't seem to understand why it's wrong and selfish and inconsiderate to wake others - and I include you AND your poor neighbours in this. A baby has no self-awareness, but a pair of 8-year-olds really should.

juneau · 07/05/2017 11:32

And I agree - if they're getting up at 6 - you and your DH should take it in turns to get up before they do so you can prevent this noisy play before it starts.

thepatchworkcat · 07/05/2017 11:34

Apologies I misread!

Wolfiefan · 07/05/2017 11:53

They shout at you?
You need to Instill some discipline and use effective consequences. Not threats.

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