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Original poster

Sleepless Nights due to 2 yr old waking up

34 replies

Newburygirl · 05/03/2007 23:17

Ok,
I am knackered. My DD (2yrs and 8 months) wakes up on average 4 times a night and has done since she was born. She wakes screaming and crying and demanding 'mummy' or 'daddy.' It's very rare that she is not crying, and when she can she is heard to utter the words, 'Blanket on.' (This has come off due to her getting out of bed in the first place.) She is usually half asleep and sometimes doesn't seem to be 'with us' at all. The trouble is I don't know which it is until I get to her bedroom. I try and follow the books that say not to go in but I hate hearing her crying for mummy to come in. Sometimes I can hear her voice shaking and her sharp intake of breaths and I hate it. I go in to comfort her but my husband says that if I keep on going in we will never sort this out. our marriage is really suffering because we are both exhausted.
She usually wakes up at around 9.30, 10, 1am, 3amish.
Can anyone advise or is anyone going through the same thing?

OP posts:
sunnysideup · 05/03/2007 23:35

Our ds had a phase of waking throughout the night when he was about this age. It got to four, five or six times a night at one point and I do feel for you, it is soo draining.

i don't know if this is helpful, but with my ds I definitely felt it was related to him having a clingy thing going on to me; we swapped over to DH putting him to bed, and going in during the night......ds realy obviously wanted me, as his waking stopped within the week!

Is this something you could try? Sometimes it's just not the same having dad in the night when you ordered mum

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:38

Hi, know how you feel, dd1 was the same from birth, i tried every possible solution,books,health visitor etc.
Like you, found it hard to leave her crying.
DD1 is now 8 years old and she has only just started to sleep through the night!Never had any problems with dd2 (although they both have night terrors)
The most important thing for us as a family was for me and dh to eventualy agree that we would help each other.
Really hard as sleep deprivation led to resentment and rows.
We have kind of muddled through in our own way, not getting stressed about it and accepting that we may have to 'bed hop' helped!
I hope that you can get it sorted sooner than we did, i'm sure someone with a better success story will come along soon with some real pearls of wisdom....i hope so!
Good luck

grannycrackers · 05/03/2007 23:40

my dd, 3, was like this and still wakes at night but has improved a lot. we raised the top of the bed by six inches when we realised she might still be getting tummy trouble and she definitely sleeps much better now. i must go to bed now

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:41

Could her room be haunted?

Just a thought, had that prob with my dd!

Fine before room and fine after!

(we moved)

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:42

Wow,now i'm too scared to go to bed!

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:43

Sorry!

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:43

Please, do start a new thread,i'm intrigued.

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:44

Bloody hell, ive got goosebumps

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:48

Well my dd was a wonderful sleeper she would have her head back and snore for england.

We moved house and things would go bang in the night. It was a semi so I blamed tha neighbours until I realised they were away!

My dd wouldn't sleep in her room, I would wake up to find her sitting on the stairs, she would scream and cry all night.

She described things and would talk to people, you just know when she's not emagining things! A different tone if you know what I mean.

I won't scare you as its dark and bed time but its safe to say we didn't live there long!

Adorabelle · 05/03/2007 23:49

Myself, my dh & dd who is 2.9 live a Victorian maisonette. We have the top 2 floors & it's a big old flat.

Dd has always co-slept with dh & I since birth so has never had the experience of being on her own at night.

About 4 months ago dh & I went out for the night & when we came back my mum explained that our dd had been hysterical about 'the little girl in the curtains'. Dd still talks of the little girl (who lives very near the top of our 15 foot ceiling, & who sits near the curtain pole)
Not really sure what to make of it to be honest.

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:52

Children and animals are very susceptable (pls excuse spelling) to these things, they have no fear and see things we dont.

I could tell you some stories but in the morning

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:54

Gonna have nightmares

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:55

Get your house blessed!

amazingmrsblunden · 05/03/2007 23:55

Wish i'd gone to bed with grannycrackers

sunnysideup · 05/03/2007 23:57

Newburygirl, speaking for those of us on planet earth, perhaps you'd like to come back to the thread for a sensible conversation tomorrow, perhaps the drivel will be over by then.

hillary · 05/03/2007 23:57

You'l be fine, mind you it's very windy tonight, freaks me out!

OOOOOooooohhhh

natric01 · 06/03/2007 00:01

I purchased a video called 'wheres God when I scared' by the veggie tales. It is a Christian story but the little veggie sings a song about God being bigger than the Boggy man, Godzilla and the monsters on TV my children love it and no longer have nightmares as they watch it before bed each night.

Adorabelle · 06/03/2007 00:05

Bloody hell hillary!

As I said we're in the top 2 floors of a very old Victorian block of flats.
Dd still looks up at the the said curtains & mentions the little girl.

She told my mum that the girl was on her own & that her mummy & daddy weren't there.

It is very windy tonight & for some reason that makes everything even more spooky.

amazingmrsblunden · 06/03/2007 00:07

Both my dd's behaviour can be strange during the night, it took us years to realise that they were actually having 'night terrors' and were really still asleep. They walk around the house,cry, talk nonsense, with eyes open.We know now to quietly put them back to bed and they soon go back to sleep. They never rember it in the AM thank goodness.

Adorabelle · 06/03/2007 00:07

Dd hasn't been at all upset sinece that night, i'm wondering if she did see 'something' that spooked her but she realises that it's nothing to worry about?

hillary · 06/03/2007 19:56

You never know!

When I was a baby I used to see people too, I used to talk to a lady who would come in to me, I used to call her her name, my mum realised I was seeing the old lady from next door who had died before I was born!!

Also when my mum was trying to settle me (she used to put me in her bed and lay down with me) someone came and sat on the end of her bed, she later realised there was nobody in the house but us!

We then moved to a bungalow in cornwall I was 6 at the time and used to see soldiers marching through my bedroom, when I went to school I drew pictures of them, my teacher picked them up as her husband was a historian, it turned out there was a tunnel under our home in the same direction as the solders were marching, our home was sinking into the tunnel....spooky, I can still see them now! I'd never seen any pictures or anything to be able to draw the soldiers in such detail (even the pattern on buttons etc)

Original poster
Newburygirl · 06/03/2007 20:42

Hey Sunnsysideup thank god you're around. Interesting though Hillary is, I feel that you and AmazingMrsBlunden should actually continue your thread under a different title. For the moment I don't believe that dd is seeing things and I really need to focus on solutions as I am knackered!

Sunny - Doesn't seem to matter if daddy or mummy goes in, same thing happens. She's up now (20.40) early for this time of night, but it starts again.....god. So much conflicting advice and not at all sure where to go with it.

OP posts:
amazingmrsblunden · 06/03/2007 21:14

Sorry Newburygirl, didn't mean to upset you.
I did suggest that a new thread was started, i was responding to some suprising posts and got a little carried away.
My previous post does explain that my dds have sleep problem.....night terrors.
Again, sorry for geting carried away, it wasnt the place or the time

cardy · 06/03/2007 21:26

Poor you, I know how you feel. My dd was a good sleep until just after her seconf birthday. Once she went from a cot to a bed she started to get out of bed, once, twice three times each night. We tried all sorts of ways dealing with during the night - letting her get in our bed, controlled crying etc. it just got worse. After about 6 months we went to see a sleep counsellor. She advised that we treated holistically by that working on her confidence and security throughout the day....lots of praising, reinforcing how good she is, commenting positively on things she was doing, instead of asking lots of questions (which can put pressure on children to give the 'right' answer) do a running commentary e.g. "you've just given the dolly a dummy now you are putting her hat one what a good girl you are etc". It seems a bit unatural at first.

Anyway it did seem to work...she does still get up sometime but is very easy to settle.

I am not sure if the methods work generally however if you are anything like me you'll try anything.

Boco · 06/03/2007 22:26

My dd is the same - she's 2 years 2 months, and has always been a terrible sleeper. She usually wakes a midnight, 3am, and then several times from 4 onwards. It drives me mad. I find it hard to find a solution as the reasons seem to change. She was having night terrors - waking up scared of monsters and dinosaurs (i'm not saying that i believe there are dinosaurs in her room!). We dealt with that by putting crusts outside at bedtime to feed the dinosaurs so they'd have their tea and go home without waking dd, which worked far better than me telling her there was nothing there.

Now she's waking up and getting out of bed and stumbling about in the dark crying , so i have to go in to her. She takes about 10 - 15 mins to settle - which 4 times a night is exhausting and frustrating and i'm losing patience!

So sorry i can't think of anything helpful, but i'll be watching this thread in case anyone else does!