Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

At my wits end is this adhd or odd?

41 replies

lars · 24/06/2004 21:47

I have been for an assessment with ds and was told nothing wrong with him just doesn't like school. I'm not so sure and went back to my gp for second opinion.
DS behaviour at school is getting worse and the school feels there is more to it.
He defies teachers and currently misbehaves and goes under tables. Has tantrums at school and has sworn at a teacher through temper. I am called to the school a couple times a week as they cannot cope with him. Is there anybody out there who can identify and have answers, my ds is just 6yrs .
At home he is constantly annoying members of the family. He also shouts alot and sometimes grunts and makes silly noises. I am really fed up now and don't feel I can cope with this child much longer. This has got to be more than just a behaviour issue. Any advice would be helpful. larsxx

OP posts:

Jimjams · 24/06/2004 22:51

I know you've writtem about this before lars- but who did the assessment?

tigermoth · 24/06/2004 23:19

lars, it must be so stressful to have to go into school on behalf of your son so often. Is your son on the school's SEN list? I believe the system has changed, but there used to be 5 levels - from 1 (targets to achieve in school) to 5 (needing a statement). Primary schools around here IME, are quite hot on putting challenging children onto level 1 at least. I am surprised an assessor can say from one visit that your son is 'ok'. Isn't there scope for them to keep an eye on him, by seeing him regularly?

Original poster

lars · 24/06/2004 23:35

Jimjams the assessment was carried out by a child phsy and a educational phsy. He is now being referred to a specialist at our local hospital.

Tigermouth, he is being assessed in school but everything takes so long. They are hoping for a statement on the grounds of his behaviour.

I do feel there is more to it and not sure that he has had the correct diagnosis.It all takes so long and in the meantime he has lost alot of his education. larsxx
Larsxx

OP posts:

Jimjams · 24/06/2004 23:35

One visit? Was it some mickey mouse person. If so I think you need to see a developmental pead- they can recognise and diagnose conditions (eg ADHD, Aspergers, Tourettes (just put that in because of the grunting)- that sort of thing that might lead to challening behaviour at school.

Original poster

lars · 24/06/2004 23:44

Jimjams, interesting as I thought ashergers at first but they said he has great imagination, therefore not this. But ADHD i feel is possible and tourettes as he keeps saying pig and swear words even though he knows they are wrong and then he will scream out or grunts. It's driving me mad and I don't really feel i'm getting anyway they all say his behaviour is difficult and partically worse when he doesn't want to conform to school.
larsxx

OP posts:

Jimjams · 24/06/2004 23:45

ah posts crossed- well it sounds like you will get some answers. I know how difficult it is- and unfortunately how long it takes- it took us over a year to get ds1's diagnosis.

Hopefully the sepcialist will be more helpful- and then he'll be able to get the right support.

Jimjams · 24/06/2004 23:47

crossed again! Good imagination most definitely does not rule out Aspergers (Andy Warhol for example was pretty creatve!) I was talking to an adult with AS recently and he was telling me how because shcool was so awful for him he would spend every breaktime playing by himself making up lots of imaginative games.

You do really need to see someone who knows what they are talking about. Fingers crossed the next referral will be more helpful.

Original poster

lars · 24/06/2004 23:58

Jimjams, I really do hope so as they really don't see ds's behaviour, how he is at home or school. They have the school reports but I'm afraid they think it's just behaviour.
Bu the grunting and the swear words, blowing raspberries in class. He doesn't seem to fear adults and the punishment.
I am trying to hold a job down but find it very difficult with the phone calls from school and the exclusions from school, which don't have any affect on him. larsxx

OP posts:

Davros · 25/06/2004 13:49

My experience of people with AS is that they often have fantastic imaginations, to the degree of being inappropriate iyswim. My sister has AS and I know a couple of mums with AS kids, one has his own planet and language, the other thinks he can be "on" a video by drawing his picture on the label......
Anyway, even if it IS "just behviour" how are they going to help you and what do they suggest?

Original poster

lars · 26/06/2004 18:49

Davros, not much help I'm afraid. I am really fed up witht the lack of help and support from outside agencies and the school appear to show very little understanding by ringing me at work and home all the time.
I have a meeting with behaviour support end of the month even though he is top of the list- joke! larsxx

OP posts:

binkie · 26/06/2004 18:59

lars, does he have times when he is calm? If not at the moment (as I guess might be the case - very sorry for you), were there when he was little? If so, in what sort of circumstances? I was just wondering if that might be another start for thinking into what's going on with him.

Original poster

lars · 26/06/2004 19:07

Binkie, Yes he does but ds is always in trouble at school, usually behaviour or not doing the work. Today he had a good morning but afternoon did rude gestures at the teacher blowing raspberries,etc.
I feel his behaviour is getting worse with very signs of it improving. I am really not sure about the school too, i know he is challanging but they have excluded him several times but without any affect. He is not allowed on the school trip unless I go with- twice now.
I just feel very disappointed with the school when they know i'm trying my best but not getting very far. larsxx

OP posts:

hmb · 26/06/2004 19:16

I might be way out of line here, but have you/the school thought about Tourettes? Is he worse when under stress or in places where you 'should' be quiet? Does he have any tics?

binkie · 26/06/2004 19:21

I sympathise - you probably know I have a kind of similar trouble with my ds, though the difference seems to be that mine isn't angry, he's at his worst just impulsively dreadfully silly - plus also (funny combo) a bit anxious. Though he's only just 5 - was yours "silly" when younger and has become angrier as he got older?

I do find I can make the most of the calm times to try to talk to ds about his behaviour, and a good thing is that he will listen - my idea is to try to lodge thoughts in him that will help him try to keep control when the giddy monster strikes.

I found on a US website a reference to a book called "Calm Down & Play" which is supposed to be hints for managing impulse control difficulties. I thought of getting it - sounds as if it might be an idea for you too?

Jimjams · 26/06/2004 19:23

Not out of line hmb- we discussed it breifly earlier in the thread! (I thought the same).

I agree that its difficult- DS1 is only in school part time atm because the school don't have the staff to have him full time - and I have no idea how I would manage if I had a job. I do understand their worries about school trips though- I think they make every teacher nervy. We had to collect ds1 half way through his last one

Original poster

lars · 26/06/2004 19:25

hmb, sorry to sound silly here what do you mean by tics?
I do think he has a complusive behaviour where he does things I wouldn't think any child would do. It's like he is missing the fear factor and keep saying rude words as if he just can't help it and knows it's naughty and he is generally rude. I do think tourettes and ADAH or O.D.D (difiance disorder). I am so desperate to get proper help for him and I do feel it's more then behaviour. I have found out that my husband cousin child has A.D.H.D. We don't really know them so we can't communicate on the subject. larsxx

OP posts:

hmb · 26/06/2004 19:26

Sorry! Small child on hand so just scanning and ADHD and Toiurettes can present at the same time.

hmb · 26/06/2004 19:32

Sorry, should have been clear. Involentary physical gestures, for example like blinking 'oddly', coughing and clearing the throat, an arm jerking, that sort of thing. None of these things can realy be controled, they can sometimes be surpressed, like you surpress a sneeze. Sometimes the 'tic' are audible, like yelping or grunting. In some cases they can involve someone shouting out rude words. There is no control over these things. It is thought that Mozart might have have had Tourettes syndrome.

Original poster

lars · 26/06/2004 19:56

hmb, yes I did mention the grunts and screams out at times for no reason and then feels he has to say a rude comment at the other person expense. He finds it very hard to control his anger and has run round the school. He also went outside the building today but the teacher managed to get him back. I know he doesn't like school and finds the routine too hard for him. Like the sitting on the carpet, etc and the writing work. larsxx

OP posts:

WedgiesMum · 27/06/2004 00:12

hi lars - did you get my email? Put in a book I think could be really useful.

WMxx

Davros · 27/06/2004 15:22

One of Oliver Sach's books has a story about a surgeon with Tourettes! Somehow the condition just didn't manifest itself when he was operating but he couldn't control it at other times. Can't remember which book, either THe Man WHo Mistook His Wife for A Hat or An Anthropologist on Mars. Excellent and interesting books anyway, highly recommend

hmb · 27/06/2004 15:33

It isn't in 'Hat'. There is a person with Tourette's syndrome in that, but he is a drummer, who uses his 'tics' as part of his amazing jazz improvisation. I love Sacks, he always seems to see the person as an integrated whole, that their 'conditions' are part of them and what makes them (like the rest of us) unique.

Original poster

lars · 28/06/2004 18:48

The update on ds is that he has now been excluded for 15 days ( 3wks) and goes back just for a day and a half and then breaks up for the summer holidays. Once again bad behaviour and got out of the school building.

He is at the action plus stage and I feel totally let down by the system.
I have rang the education support group who have been helpful but in total a year and a half of hell. larsxx

OP posts:

roisin · 28/06/2004 19:05

Lars, I am (again) very shocked that a school is excluding such a young child for such a long period of time. Can I ask, is he violent and agressive at school towards other children or staff? I just can't think of any reason to justify such a response on their part, it's like they're washing their hands of him.

Our school has never, as in not ever, excluded a child for any reason - in 10 years of its existence. I think the Head would view it as a personal failure on her part to have to take such action.

Anyway sending you hugs and my thoughts; a really tough time for you.

roisin · 28/06/2004 19:06

PS to my comment about our school ... we are in a deprived area btw, and many children come from difficult backgrounds: no exclusions isn't because we don't have particularly demanding cases.

Does your school exclude other children on a frequent basis?

Flip

1 2