In hospital urgent advice needed!

[RachaelLaurenDaisyStone]

Hi, my baby is 10 weeks old breastfed only and we've been admitted to hospital for a few days observation as she has had a very slight weight loss since her immunisations 2 weeks ago (lots of dioreah) born 7lbs 6oz. Was gaining along her percentile and only lost 7%of birth weight. Went from 8lbs 15oz to 8lbs 10oz and has gone back up to 8lbs 12oz but they still have admitted us even though I protested. So anyway the advice I need desperately is that I feel I am being bullied into giving her formula, and they are forcing me to wake her up in the night for a feed. She feeds well in the day every 2-4 hours on both breasts and I have a very good supply I express every morning and get 6 oz in about 10-12 mins. But she has slept through the night since 4 days old. This has never effected her negatively before. I really feel the jabs are the reason she's lost the weight and is slow gaining. Can I refuse to wake her up in the night to the doctors? I'm now giving her a 150mls as well with both breasts at every feed I see think that will be helping her gain without waking her up and without giving her formula. Please can anyone give me advice on what my rights as a parent are?! It's not like she's underweight she's still in the 50th percentile!

is anyone else wondering how HVs can still be giving out such awful advice as encouraging mothers with a history of anorexia to bf because the 'baby will get what it needs'? If I knew op personally i'd put in a complaint about that HV, certainly they should've been watching more closely.

My friend's sister got into a pickle with feeding, she has a history of severe anorexia nervosa and when she had her baby she kind of got it fixed in her mind that she had to feed the baby all the time to get the weight of herself. Her son had a tongue tie which want picked up straightaway so they had a poor latch and she got awful blisters and cracks, but wouldn't consider any formula as in her head, if her son had formula, she wouldn't be able to lose weight.

OP you've got a lot going on and I'm worried about you and your comments about harming yourself because of your weight.
Please tell someone there what's going on in your head. You need mental health support right now before things spiral out of control further. Thinking if you sweetheart X

OP please pleas listen to the doctors and get that beautiful baby fed. My understanding of a couple of things:

1. The main reason they may be advising limiting time at the breast is that the act of feeding is itself tiring and full of effort for the baby.
2. If you are not consuming enough calories, and it sounds like you aren't even coming close, then your milk will not, cannot be rich enough to sustain your baby.
3. This can mean prolonged feeds will leave your daughter expending more calories to try to feed than she is actually gaining from your milk.
4. There is no way the advice you have been given about your body prioritising breastmilk production over your own minimum nutritional needs is correct. It makes no sense in evolutionary terms and it does not correspond in any way with tragedies we see like famine situations where women don't have enough to eat. If you want to BF, then you must must eat. I know that is not simple for someone with an eating disorder.

For all these reasons, I believe your baby would be far better off for now on lots of formula.

You seem to hear only what you want to hear. Formula isn't bad - all other things being equal, breastmilk if marginally better. But in this case, all other things are not equal. Under nourishment at this important stage of her life is really really serious for your baby and can have lifelong consequences. I am a random stranger I one and I lay awake last night worrying about your baby. Can you do something radical like appoint your husband primary carer in terms of dealing with the baby's doctors? If it is easier for you, then he is the one making the decision to follow the formula advice etc. I think this can also release you to get the ED support you need

I rarely curse online but this thread makes me want to unleash a string of expletives against every preachy lactivist message the OP or anyone else has ever heard in her life. What an utterly messed up situation. Poor OP and poor baby.

Agree with you Sycamore, OP sounds like she is ill very unwell & not thinking straight; I find the tone & contents of her posts very worrying. Along with her rejection of medical advice for herself & her daughter, who is also unwell.

Time for the experts to take over, this is not the place for "breast is best" type support. It is a very serious clinical issue for her DD; both her & OP are very vulnerable.

i quite agree, the baby's crossed my mind a few times too, I am pro-bf but it's not the best thing in every situation and the lazy advice the HV gave about the baby getting what it needs and then letting it get to this point is unconscionable. I hope her HV is losing sleep!

I hope you have seen the consultant.

I honestly think your DD isn't getting enough nutrients because of your lack of calories. If top up with formula and eat at least 1000 cal a day.

Your daughter is beautiful though OP.

Do whatever you have to do to help that little girl thrive.

Are you still there OP? Everyone wants the best for you both X X X

The baby is the patient not the mother here. If baby continues to lose weight and mum is still reluctant to formula feed coupled with ops own eating issues and is asking for discharge papers the doctors could involve Social Services.

Hi OP

Sorry to hear you're having a stressful time of it, we do hope you're all right.

We wanted to pop on and say that while we understand that you're finding things tough, we do think that you're probably in the best place right now for both you and your lovely DD.

We can see you're getting some wonderful support on this thread and we hope that everything is all right

Hows it going op. Been thinking of you

I hope you and your baby are ok today / tonight.

It's so hard to trust hospitals when the system is so creaky and there's so much room for error. Especially with baby nutrition which can end up as a 'too many cooks spoil the broth' type of situation. Add baby hormones, and that awful disease anorexia and you get a very stressful situation indeed.

I think your dp really needs to come to the hospital during the day and help you get to the bottom of the conflicting advice and talk directly to a consultant. Even if it's just one day.

You sound so alone and that's not necessary if your dp can step up a bit - or any of your families or friends? I hope someone in real life can help you.

Did you get someone to put name tags on your baby yet? X

How's it going OP?

Hope you're ok