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What age do you think is appropriate for a child to go downstairs by themselves of a morning?

55 replies

scumbagcollege · 17/09/2016 08:21

Just that really, my ds is four and either wakes up of a morning at 7 or sometimes 6, he won't stay and cuddle in the bed with me and dp (which is fine btw) he wants to go downstairs straight away. He also won't go back into his room to play with his toys whilst we wake up a bit. This again no problem, he wants to get up and he wants me or dp all fine.

What's bugging me is dp keeps saying every time he comes in a bit too early "just take him down give him his breakfast and come back to bed, I was allowed to be downstairs on my own at that age". I am dead set against this, I do not feel four years is old enough to be left downstairs on your own whilst we get some more sleep. I understand we can do this when he is older (I did this when I was about six but I was also with my sister who was three years older, we knew how to make breakfast for ourselves etc).
When I say he's too young I think it's neglectful he just keeps repeating I was allowed at that age (he however had an older brother who was also three years older). I won't relent on this one, I just get up as you are expected to do when you're a parent, my son wants me and that's that.

However I was just curious to see what age you think is appropriate for a child to get up on their own of a morning?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
megletthesecond · 19/09/2016 10:16

Mine did it from the age of 4. It was a tiny house so I was usually awake and could hear what they were up to but it gave me time to watch the news or read.

The TV was set up so they could only watch cbeebies and I used to leave a carton of orange juice and a yakult in the fridge for them.

Ragwort · 19/09/2016 10:20

I would think 4 is fine - I must admit I never had the issue because I am such a morning person that I was always up first anyway Grin.

drspouse · 19/09/2016 10:27

Wings judgy much!

You try and stop my DS from getting up and making his own breakfast. "I don't need your help" is is current mantra.

And as for having a turn at lie ins or "getting up and feeding your child" I am currently unable to split myself in two and distribute myself across the first floor (where I have to get dressed and my DD also has to get dressed) and the ground floor (where my DS wants his breakfast). Zero chance of a lie in but unless you have a way of cloning yourself I'd love some hints on how I'm supposed to feed him while dressing her and myself.

5moreminutes · 19/09/2016 10:57

Oh please - children like a bit if independence and doing things themselves, being allowed to watch kids TV and eat breakfast in front of it without a parent hovering and over parenting is a great treat and it's only for half an hour or an hour, with their parents in the house.

A lot of people smother their kids - I know someone who posted one of those nauseating "so proud but she's growing up too fast" fb posts about her daughter getting herself a drink instead of asking to be fetched one when her DD was 18 8! 8 and never been allowed to do anything for herself! How incredibly humiliating and restrictive for the poor child!

Kids need their parents at 101 times but they also need a tiny bit of space and to be a bit proud of their independence - they don't need unrelenting interaction, line of sight supervision and waiting on 24/7.

Youarenotprepared · 19/09/2016 11:05

Depends on the child. Mine did it from
4ish

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