Are two-year-olds actually drunk? Or what?

[NotQuiteCockney]

A conversation I had with DS2, on the bike today:

Me: Look at the moon up there.
DS2: Not moon, biscuit up there.
Me: Um. It's the moon.
DS2: Biscuit!

Me: Ok, what flavour biscuit is it?
DS2: Chocolate!
Me: Oh, that sounds tasty.
DS2: Not biscuit, moon!
Me: No, I think it's a chocolate biscuit.
DS2: MOON!

Yes sounds familar. Fickle or what too

Yup, that's exactly the sort of thing.

DS2 isn't quite verbally dextrous enough to manage something that complicated yet (he's 2 1/3, and not that good a talker), but I expect that sort of thing out of him once he can manage it.

I don't mind the talking and making no sense, better than the not talking and tantrumming stage that comes before it.

my DS (2.1) told me today ..

him 'theres a 'ooh ooh' (monkey) on nanas roof'

me - oh yeah whats it doing?

'run fast with dinesaw' (dinosaurs)

me- oh right, ok

'and doggy bite him, dads at work - make him dinner and get me a biccy' (!!!)

me - PMSL

huh??

its the fumes from the paste and the finger paints. sends 'em high as a kite.

PMSL

Oh, yes, on the same trip, DS2 kept insisting that Daddy was in every plane that went by. He insisted on shouting at the planes and waving.

Meanwhile, DS1 was on the back of the bike, singing a long song he was making up about very little. And I wonder why people look at us as we ride by.

DS2 did used to insist that pregnant ladies didn't have babies in their tummies - it was all ice cream.

ds keeps repeating story about water going down a pipe and getting all the people wet (?). Then he laughs hysterically at the idea of mummy getting all wet. I have no idea where this came from.

He comes up with many strange stories at the moment. Glad to hear he isn't the only one. It's funny but it hurts my brain

Lostinfrance, which part of France are you lost in?

Lost in France - LOL

I have random conversations like that with dd1 ALL the time

dd. What that cup doing?
Me. It's just sitting on the table.
dd. Why?
Me. Well it's just sitting there on the table
dd. Why?
Me. Why indeed.

Serves me right for hijacking someone else's thread

Me: can you see that flag flapping?
DS: what flapping is it doing?
:shrug:

DS: Are those steps not folded up?
Me: No, they're staying there today
DS: What are they doing?
Me (getting inventive): They're waiting to help someone get onto that boat
DS: When is someone coming?

...etc, etc... DOH! I don't know!

my dd, aged 2.5 asked me " mummy, are you a 'wicky' witch?" (probably the most sensible thing on this thread, tbh.)

Am NQC.

I get:

DS "Mooooooon!"
Me: Yes, moon in the sky!
DS

Looking forward to the talking and making no sense. Really, I am.

Oh, and he has two songs he sings, that he made up. One is an old favourite, and goes:

"Doctor, doo doo doo
Tractor, doo doo doo
Doctor tractor, doo doo doo" etc etc

I don't know why. Well, I know he loves going to the doctor, it's one of his favourite outings! I took him as a treat, when I was going in for an asthma scrip.

And a new one that goes:

"Me no poo in the potty
Me no poo in the potty" etc etc.

I think I know what that one is about

Yes they are all pissed as farts and baby logic applies to all things.

My DS's drinking buddies are:

Denton Denton, Bunken Bunk and Cocky Cock.

They have hours of fun in his truck which is a cushion wedged between a chair and the radiator.

Blimey I have conversations with ds 4yrs!! that make me want to take drugs.

we were walking the dog
DS: Mummy,when you were a baby,I was a big man.
Me: oh yes
Ds And daddy was a big man too ,but R(his 15 yr sister) was a baby girl .
Me :hhmmmm yes
DS: well we went to africa and saw a crocodile and it was really really hot.
Me: did you?Was it nice.
DS: Well after the hammer it was
Me (losing interest now) What hammer?
Ds: why do crocodiles need hammers?

Wtf!

Ds is 2 in a couple of weeks and likes to tell jokes but they are very surreal
ds - knock knock
me - who's there
ds - doctor
me - doctor who
ds - DOCTOR NAMA (banana)

The last part is shouted like he is really pissed off because I don't get it.

Oh and the joke is told over and over and over again.
Give me strength!!!!

That sounds familiar, Lilliput.

dd1: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
dd1: Banana
Me: Banana who?
dd1: Banana goes to bed, then wakes up and eats chocolate pancakes, then watches some telly! (collapses into hysterics)

thats why we all took drugs in the 90s remember E. remember how it all made sense at the time..... That is what your kid is on ....but legally and with no social repurcussions, that's why we did it. That's why we enjoyed it,,, That's why we we understand what its like to be a kid.. Oh Bugger I'm not a rave kid, I'm now a mum ..

maybe not then