Are two-year-olds actually drunk? Or what?

[NotQuiteCockney]

A conversation I had with DS2, on the bike today:

Me: Look at the moon up there.
DS2: Not moon, biscuit up there.
Me: Um. It's the moon.
DS2: Biscuit!

Me: Ok, what flavour biscuit is it?
DS2: Chocolate!
Me: Oh, that sounds tasty.
DS2: Not biscuit, moon!
Me: No, I think it's a chocolate biscuit.
DS2: MOON!

sorry, obviously no one took that joke, fine

I get it Bobby2, otherwise why all the pretty toys, the sweets, the maniacal dancing and refusal to stop?

Don't worry hobby, I just logged on a few minutes ago, I certainly get it!

They certainly have the emotional lability of someone on drugs (happy and loving one minute, slapping you in the face the next).

(I was never that big on E, though, only did it once. LSD, though, that's another story.)

DD (3 on Saturday): Knock knock
Me: Who's there
DD: Purple
Me: Purple who?
DD: Hee hee hee hee

Barking

Are two year olds actually drunk? Well, yes - actually, mine was once. At a 3 year old's party last summer, the mum had very kindly made Pimms and lemonade for all us mums. DS2 who was nearly 2 at the time spotted a strawberry floating in the top of a glass (left very irresponsibly at toddler height by somebody), ate the strawberry and necked the whole bloomin glass of Pimms!

No ill effects but he was the most enthusiastic dancer when they played musical statues and needless to say, didn't win!

We also have crazy conversations such as:

Me: have you finished your lunch?
DS2: Don't want it
Me: OK - I'll take it away and you can get down
DS2(as I remove plate): I want my lunch back!!!
Me (as I put plate back in front of him: Here you are then
DS2(at full volume):Nooooo - don't want it. Want to get down.

And this goes on until I leave the room, with plate and he collapses on the floor in total despair.

So hard not to laugh...

A special chat on the bus this morning,

dd. Mummy what comes from cheese.
me. err, well cheese comes from milk darling
dd. mice come from cheese
me. um well, mice eat cheese, but cheese is made from milk (now going into educational mother mode)...and where does milk come from darling?
dd. froms cows, out of the UDDER (she loves that word).
me. thats right darling well done (beaming round the bus with ridiculous parental pride).
dd. and the baby cow comes out of the udder too.
me. umm, no, just the milk (and now I make a fatal error), the baby cow is too big to come out of the udder.
dd.why?
me. well um only milk comes out of the cows udder (the bus has gone quiet...they know where this is leading)
dd.Mummy where does the baby cow come out?
me. (SO very tempted to say 'out of the lady cows Fanjo', resist the temptation).
'well the baby comes out somewhere else' (sniggers on the bus).
dd. mummy, cheese comes from mice... (Oh thank God, back to totally ridiculous toddler conversation).
me. Yes thats right...oh look there's a green car.

PMSL

These are great - I get ridiculous conversations too -just struggling to get an exact example now

LEts not forget (to the exclubbers)...

Refusing to eat for days followed by ravenous munchies.

Surreal conversations

Dancing to anything!

Come downs that last days

Watching the tv form a variety of angles

Thinking their new found friend will be theirs for life, unless they've been on the charlie then hating thier best friend (or entering into a round of one-up-man-ship).

Believing the world in their oyster (poor misguided fools).

Infinite energy followed by the deepest of sleeps

...and watching Teletubbies.

Driving through the New Forest...

Ds1: Mummy. Cow.
me: Yes darling, it's a cow. What do cows say?
ds1: Moo
me: Clever boy. Look, a horse. What do horses say?
ds1: Neeeee.
me: Well done.
ds1: No mummy, horsies baaaa
(ds1 almost falls out of the car seat he's laughing so much and keeps saying horsies baaa the whole way home)

Flumpytina - ROFL I like the quick distraction with the green car

Lots of good surreal conversations.

DS2 is out in the front garden digging up soil. But he is sometimes having very loud arguments with someone ... only nobody else is out there ...

dd comes into living room holding her hand out carefully carrying something invisible ask her whats that she says daddy! then she opens the door understairs and chucks invisible daddy under there! ask why did you do that answer was daddy done a wee in his pants he has got to change them!!

on a plane she shouted very loudly mummy you musnt do a poo in your pants!

doll was put in the naughty drawer!

and the conversations she has with her dolls im wondering if she is getting hallucigenic drugs from somewhere

we dont watch tv in our house just watch and listen to her and it has us crying with laughter

Last night 2.30am DS (who is technically 3 but only by 2 days) wakes up screaming. Mummy wakes from deep sleep and rushes into him
me: whats the matter sweetheart?
ds: the bed was hiding
me: you're on the bed
ds: no the bed was hiding in the bed
me: the bear was hiding in the bed?
ds: no the bed was hiding in the bed, down there (points at the 5cm gap between the bed and the wall)
me: I don't understand sweetheart
ds-repeats above then gets back into bed, pulls his covers up says "turn the light off mummy" and promptly falls back to sleep leaving bemused mummy sitting on the edge of the bed.
He was still insisting the bed was hiding in the bed this morning and I have no idea what he was talking about!

Took my DS (2) for his booster jag today.. the HV did it in his leg.

After this, i left him with my parents and went out for a couple of hours.

When i returned he had told everyone that he got the jag in his arm.
I said
'no baby it was in your leg, remember?'
He replied
'No Mummy, in my arm. My arm hurts.'
I said
'Dont be silly babe, it was in your leg!'
He replied
'No mummy!! GRANDMA!!'
My mother came over and he started to cry.
'Mummy says i'm wrong..'

Now they all think that I am wrong and that the jag was in his arm!!

God help me!

Bonkers conversation at the zoo this morning.

By the lion enclosure

dd. Mummy what lions eat?
me. Well darling why don't you go and ask that nice zoo lady over there.
dd. Zoo lady what lions eat?
ZL. They eat meat.
dd (blank expression)
ZL. Well these lions like to eat beef...err that's cows, and they also eat chickens and turkeys and sometimes rabbits.
dd. (horified expression) No they don't eat RABBITS. They eat cabbages!
ZL. Um no, they don't like vegetables they are carnivores.
dd. What carvorr? Monkeys eat poo. (dh told her this in an idiot male moment so of course she has taken it as gospel truth).
ZL. (Starting to look a bit worried that she has gotten herself into a tricky toddler conversation). Oh well I don't think the monkeys eat poo. They eat fruit and vegetables. The lions like meat.
dd.OK! Why?
Me. (Intervening to halt this poor womans discomfort) So what do lions eat then darling?
dd. Cabbages.

Another educational trip to the zoo gone tits up then.

Monkeys throw poo, but I don't think they eat it.

Rabbits do eat poo. Maybe you don't want to tell her that, though.

Rabbits eat poo??!!!!

Their own or other animals??

Am shocked.....actually now I am typing this isn't that what the appendix is for?

Don't think I'll tell dd though, she'll probably end up telling the vicar.

The appendix? What does the appendix do? I thought it collected toxins, maybe?

Rabbits eat their own poo, it's how they digest the cellulose in grass. Unlike cows etc, they don't have four stomachs, and don't chew cud, they just re-eat the grass.

They produce two kinds of poo, one of which is half-digested, and the other is waste.

A quote from a random sciency web site found on Google

It is largest in obligate herbivores, animals whose diets consist entirely of plant matter. In many herbivorous mammals the caecum is as large as the rest of the intestines, and it may even be coiled and longer than the length of the entire organism (as in the koala). In herbivorous mammals, the caecum is essential for digestion of cellulose, a common plant molecule. The caecum houses specialized, symbiotic bacteria that secrete cellulase, an enzyme that digests cellulose. Otherwise cellulose is impossible for mammals to digest.

The structure of the caecum is specialized to increase the efficiency of cellulose fermentation. As a "side branch" (apendix)
from the gut it is able to house a large, dense, and permanent colony of specialized bacteria. Being a dead-end sac at the beginning of the large intestine, it allows more time for digesting food to reside in the gut and ferment more completely, before passing through the large intestine where the resulting nutrients are absorbed. However, even though humans are herbivorous, the small human caecum does not house cellulose-digesting bacteria, and we cannot digest cellulose.

Aha who say's being on MN never makes you learn clever stuff!

Fair enough. This page says that rabbits make two kinds of droppings, soft and hard. The soft are the output from their caecum. And they eat those.

What a great thread

oooh I wish I could get the hang of those link thingmys...my web site had a beautiful picture of a rabbits bowel...made the text just come to life it did.

Never mind...we are in agreement rabbits do eat their own poo....and you should never tell a two year old this.

debates whether to tell my 4-yr-old that "rabbits eat poo" so she can go and tell her new class teacher ...

ds is 2 the week after next, and not yet talking. Thank God. A friend with a dd the same age is worried about her dd not talking yet. Me, I'm just grateful. Long may it continue.

Unless the tantrums stop when they start talking maybe? But they don't do they. No, actually I'd rather have screaming than "but whyyyyyyy Mummy? why, whyyyyyyeeee?". Screaming is easier to ignore.