Anyones 9/10 year old daughters suddenly become very attitudee and stroppy

[pollypots2]

My just turned 9yr old dd has become increasingly stroppy and full of attitude in past few months. I dont think its bad in itself as naturally she's more easy going and compliant in some ways and she's learning to stand up for herself more. She also felt picked on by some girls in her class but is standing up to them more and walks away to play with other friends if they start to be mean. However there's a lot of back chat to us, sighing& moaning at the smallest things she's asked to do and gets quite emotional. I heard girls can be like this the year before they start their periods? We are a very open family and we spend individual time with all our 3 dd's and my eldest is the most expressive and chatty of all of them and tells us alot of things so I wouldn't be worried that there's something wrong whe's not telling us but I would like her to be more respectful and be a better example to her younger dd's. Any thoughts appreciated

Mine's 7 (but in a class full of 8 yr olds) and she's just the same. Apparently she's great with the teachers (phew!) but she starts with the attitude as soon as the car pulls away from the car park. I'm really hoping it will just be a phase and that my super advanced(!!!) tweenie is having her teenage angst now (which will mean she is a model teenager!). Is that wishful thinking? It sounds as if we have pretty much the same daughter though, so you are not alone (if that makes you feel any better!)

yes, my Neice is 12 and she did the same around that age

I suppose at 9 some have their teenage or pre teenage even! hormones getting ready

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ohhhh yeeesss. She's starting to talk with a broader accent, dropping her ts much more and if I pull her up about anything I have to put up with hours of relentless self-justification and often sobbing.

On the plus side, she can still be very funny.

I try and make sure we have just as many nice times as fall-outs. I feign enthusiasm for x-factor, dancing on ice and all things fashion.

As I'm pretty sure dd2 will go the same way but worse (now she is an emotional kid), I just share a few knowing glances with her, like we both know this is teenage stuff and we can rise above it.

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yup. started then, still going strong now she's 11. What I'd like to know is does it just start and finish earlier, or does it start earlier and last longer

But remember "we're ALL in THIS toooGETHer..... " Aghhhhh!

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Oh can I join the thread?!
Dd is full of hormones I think, boobs beginning to sprout (and feeling rather tender), strange outbursts of temper which surprise her more than us I think. Am just keeping the communication channels open which is doing good. Have had far more hugs recently than ever before. I think she needs reassuring that her feelings are normal. I do pull her up about her strops but when its calmed down again I do try and remember to say "Wierd these feelings aren't they?" which makes her know that I kind of understand what she's feeling.
Most of the time though she is a mature and very delightful girl. Wasn't expecting the hormones quite so young though.

My DD started her periods at 10 (I started at 11 - apparently starting early runs in families) and was a total nightmare at 9 - hormones surging around the place but still a little girl so totally unable to cope with it. Plus I think girls that age can be right little bitches to each other - boys just hit each other and get over it, whereas girls do the subtle, nastier, more damaging stuff to each other and if your daughter's been on the receiving end of that it's bound to affect her. I do feel for you PP2 - I'm sort of out of the woods now with my DD but it's not a nice time.

Yep!

havent got a dd but my ds started preteen behaviour aged 9/10, he got b.o for the first time aged 9 so i knew it was hormones. luckily he uses loads of deodrant and now hes 12 his attitude is even worse

We've already got HSMusical CD, DVD and book at Christmas and yes I'm often singing "TOGETHER,FOREVER..." plus my 3 dd's all love dancing and we are given a delightful show about 3x week during the winter. Thanks for responses though and great point Pointydog about as many good times as fall outs cos we do and I love hanging out with them esp one on one and can just be too hard on myself at times ( slight self perfectionism) so am going to remember that when next WW3 breaks out

Book called Talking to Tweenies by Elizabeth somebody or other hugely helped me through this phase the first time round.

Must look it out again as dd2 is 9 next month...

here. Talking to Tweenies

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Following on from this , i guess I realise why so many people comment on how what beautiful delightful 3 dd's we have BUT WAIT UNTIL THEy'RE TEENAGERS Realistic but not always encouraging. Maybe they'll start saying WAIT UNTIL THEY'RE TWEENIES.......

Thanks Orlando - Looks like great book. Love the subtitle - Getting it right before it gets rocky with your 8 - 12 year old. I think they should be giving them out for free!

Ooh, another book. Have just read "How to talk so kids will listen..." but now I feel like I need this tweenies one too, because my 9-yr-old DD sounds like all of yours. Suffering with fickle friendships and having some major tearful overreactions to minor incidents, but also being very little girly and funny. I used to know what was going on in her head, but now it's not quite so obvious.

In the thick of it in our household too. DD1 is 11 and DD2 8 in a few monthes. DD3 trailing behind at 3, but picking up fast on the 'get out of my face you're annoying me' language.

DD1 has dealt with the transition to secondary school rather too well on the social front. I think she only goes to school to chat to friends, pick up fashion tips and find out which angst 'emo' CD to download next.

She's a barrel of mixed up emotions - screaming at me one minute and apologising and coming for a hug the next.

Well I don't have a stroppy 9yo dd, but I was one! I definitely went through my teenage tantrums and slamming doors stage then. Got it all out of my system well before the time I was 12 or 13 I think, then I was a model teenager

Ooooooh! So glad I'm not the only one to find girls of a certain age a mystery!
I look after my niece (8) for about 10 days/nights whilst her mum is working. I have one 5yo ds who is very easy going.
one minute she is playing trains with ds, the next is acting like a teenager. If I tell her some behaviour was rude, she hair tosses and tells me that she's from Manchester and everyone there is rude....... she told me ds had to move out of his room because it was not fair she had the smallest room in the house...(tried to tell her she is lucky to have 2 bedrooms!)Make up, endless falling out with friends and horror of horrors, boys seem to be looming large - she has a 'boyfriend' at school.
Love her to pieces but she challenges me to the core sometimes. I would say hormones definately have a part to play and she also seems very confused sometimes - learning that everyone is different, finding her 'place' in the world, starting to think about bigger issues outside the immediate family - it's a confusing world out there.
No advice really, I'm floundering too! Mostly I just try and ask mself before getting into a row, 'is it worth it?' Some days she could argue black was white.

no but I know a seven year old who has lol