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How to deal with 3yr old boys....any advice?

66 replies

Chipstick · 21/01/2007 19:03

My dd now 6 was such a lovely toddler/pre-schooler. My days off work were such a pleasure-we sailed through the terrible twos, never a on-the-shop-floor tantrum it was great. Then, along came her brother!

He will be 3 in a few weeks, and I have to say that at the moment I don't really like being a mummy. This has been a terrible weekend-especially whilst visiting other peoples houses.

He's shouted constantly, thrown things, hit his sister. At one house he found a bottle of tippex and covered himself in it. At the next house, he discovered the litter tray and picked up a couple of handfuls of litter (not pooh thank god!) and put it in my relatives flower vase. I've got to the point where I'm refusing invites to peoples houses because I can't face taking him there.

If I tell him off he laughs, sent him to his room this afternoon which helped me calm down more than him but if I'm out with him I obviously can't do that.

Being from an all girl family, I'm not used to boys, one minute he is so cuddly and kind the next a monster.

x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Overrun · 21/01/2007 19:07

Hi Chipstick, I have three boys ds1 is 4 next month and dts are just 2. Ds1 wasn't too bad, but dts are so naughty and they are so quick
The only thing that I can recommend is, fresh air, fresh air and exercise exercise. I take mine to soft play in the morning, make them walk some where at midday, and then finish off with a park (kicking a ball around etc.
I guess they are always going to misbehave when visiting and so forth, so only thing you can try is to tire them out before you go. Sorry thats about all I can advise, as this does really seem to work with mine

brandy7 · 21/01/2007 19:11

my mum stopped visiting family/friends when us 3 were young because of behaviour like your boys.

he'll change within another year, i would knock thevisits on the head if hes not too bad at your own house

MarsLady · 21/01/2007 19:12

I agree Overrun..... get them out into the open and run off some of that energy.

Am about to have my second 3 year old boy, the first is now 14 and still needs to be out in the open running off his energy.

Sheraz · 21/01/2007 19:14

I agree with this boys are like dogs you need to run them around and wear them out. DS2 is 4 in March and until a few weeks ago the child from hell. I maintained a fairly rigid approach to discipline any transgressions a warning and then time out. Also really praised his good behaviour and when we were having a nice time I would make a point of telling him. I think it is a phase DS1 went through it at the same age to a lesser degree. In a few months time you will have a good little boy to enjoy. Good luck!

tinytotmummy · 21/01/2007 19:17

Can't offer any advice I'm afraid, just sympathy, as my youngest is exactly the same only she's a girl! And only just 2. But her older brother has always been so placid and quiet, I really don't know how to control her behaviour - she's so wilfull!

Let's hope it's all just a phase...

colditz · 21/01/2007 19:17

Run him like a dog and be very very firm about boundries

use 1,2,3 and then bedroom

be absolutely totally immovable on the rules.

Girls, I think, negotiate easier, and are generally more flexible. The you get a boy, and if you let him do something just this once, he will think he can do it always and forever no matter how many times you say no.

OTOH They want to marry their mummies, which is nice.

colditz · 21/01/2007 19:18

Oh snap Sheraz

Chipstick · 21/01/2007 19:21

Thank you so much for the lovely replies, you have all brought a smile to my face and am so pleased I'm not the only one with a terror!

XX

OP posts:
colditz · 21/01/2007 19:25

I genuinely believe the origin of sport was 3 year old boys.

edam · 21/01/2007 19:26

Listen to Colditz, she's dead right about letting a boy do something once and he thinks he can have it that way for ever! The number of times I've told him something, eg having his lunch on a tray in the sitting room is a special, not to be repeated, once-only treat (he was ill) and then he demands it again next time and on and on and on forever until I'm worn down into giving in. (Yes, Colditz, I know I'm probably too soft.)

However, he does want to marry me, so that's good.

wrinklytum · 21/01/2007 19:31

LOL at the dogs analogy.You have my sympathy!I can only agree with what the previous posters have said-plenty of exercise to tire him out.Even if its only charging around the garden playing football with him,or ds favourite: being a monster(We both have to run round the garden shouting "RAAAH I'm a scary monster!!" at the tops of our voices,with poor little dd looking askance at us,heaven knows what the neighbours think!!!).The other thing I have found is absolutely having to be firm and reinforce the groundrules if he is playing up.I get sick of the sound of my own voice,its very wearing,they don't half test you some days!!!He will come through it eventually,then we will be faced with the next phase...and so it goes on! Good Luck

colditz · 21/01/2007 19:44

I doo hope you don't find this, but at some point in the day you may find you have lost count of how many times you have said

Stop fiddling

Get down please, it's not safe

Leave it alone

Don't do that to your brother, no, not even if he is laughing.

No, you cannot have your tea in the front room. Yes I know, but that was 8 months ago and you had a broken leg. No, your leg is not broken now. No it isn't. Because I would know. Because I am your mummy, that's why, now please will you go in the front room!?

Pitchounette · 21/01/2007 19:46

Message withdrawn

colditz · 21/01/2007 19:49

Yes, ds1 is now approaching 4 and is so so so much easier than he was.

Lact8 · 21/01/2007 19:50

ROFL Colditz! Even though its nto funny when you're in the middle of it.

DS2 has only just got "Why?" and has spent today using it to its full capacity - oh joy!

Had an incident in Boots yesterday with the makeup and thought of you. Your DS would've been proud of mine!

I agree with all he advice you've been given CHipstick, especially the running and being outdoors

ejt1764 · 21/01/2007 19:50

Totally agree with colditz ... although I have to also say that I have and will continue to do a time out in any house I'm visiting if necessary!

Bad behaviour when we're out of the house doesn't tend to happen much any more!

Mind you, I haven't had to use the naughty step for months now ... maybe he's growing up, or he's just realised that it's not worth the bother of behaving badly because then nice things don't happen!

ejt

MarsLady · 21/01/2007 19:51

I'm not looking forward to "why". Hated it with the others gonna hate it more this time round as I'll have it in stereo with the DTs... sigh..............

Hey Colditz... babe.... as you've already been through it and have perfected your technique..................

alipiggie · 21/01/2007 19:52

I agree about being firm. I've got two ds's 18mnths apart and ds2 31/2 is non-stop from the moment he gets up to the moment he lies down. Luckily pre-school in the afternoon helps. I use the naughty step and they realise there is always a consequence for bad behaviour. This is re-inforced at school too, where they are removed out of the classroom if they constantly do not listen or do not respect others.

And if all else fails - run screaming from the house count to 100 and go back in

fortyplus · 21/01/2007 19:53

2 boys 11&13...

Lots of cuddles
Lots of praise for being 'good'
Not too much on his case for boisterous 'naughty' behaviour
You'll have the last laugh when he's older - teenage boys are much easier than teenage girls

colditz · 21/01/2007 19:56

No Mars, I am not going to move into your twins bedroom, but thanks for the subtle offer.

[

Lact8 · 21/01/2007 19:56

DS2 hasn't questioned exactly where the naughty corner is when we are out walking but it does make him behave

Califrau · 21/01/2007 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsLady · 21/01/2007 20:00

Sod Cod!!!!!!!!!!! Unlimited hot tub time?

Can you meet me at the airport????????????

Califrau · 21/01/2007 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsLady · 21/01/2007 20:03