Dd13 wants to dye her blonde hair black

[BLACKTUESDAY1]

My dd is 13. Will be going in year 9 in september. She is into alternative stuff - def not at all girly, always wears black clothes, not into make up and music but an amazing artist and loves anime. She has long, wavy, (beautiful) blonde hair which she HATES. She says it doesn't match who she is and feels others get the wrong impression of her personality. She wants to look how she feels inside and wants to dye her hair black and cut it short. I am more concerned about the cut tbh as i have curly hair and any sort of wave in short hair is hard to maintain (she is quite lazy!). Should I allow the hair dye? Obv would check with school first and wait for hols but I am so worried her lovely hair will be ruined. I know it is only hair but she is so young

My dd is getting her waist length brown hair dip dyed up as far as her shoulders galaxy colours (pink blue purple) for her 13th birthday next month, she will need to then cut it out or dye it back to a natural colour for going back to school in September, we are in Ireland so they get 3 months off for summer.
When she was in 6th class she had the bottom foot or so of her hair dyed purple at Halloween and then red at Christmas.

I went through a phase like this when I was a teen. My parents let me roll with it and I learned lots of lessons about what hair colours actually suited me (and which really didn't) along the way. Same with cutting my hair short - although mine was never super-long.
How about letting her start with colours that last 6-8 washes so she can experiment and find a colour that she really likes and that suits her. The maybe move onto semi-permanent colours after that, so she can chop and change and not worry about regrowth which will lock her into endless cycles of trips to the hairdresser.
In terms of the cut, what about experimenting with wigs first - again, so that she can find a style that really suits her. And encourage her to figure out her face shape so she can google eg. "best short haircut for long face and thick hair".
Ultimately though, we learn from our mistakes. My kids are still little and I dread the day my daughter says she wants to change her beautiful natural hair colour. But experimenting with looks and finding your own identity is part of growing up - I would probably let her in as non-permanent a way as possible.

I would let her too. Back in the day my best friend had the most beautiful hair, which of course she hated. Her mum paid for it to be done at the salon so at least it was a good dye job.

It's her hair, as long as she isn't likely to be subject to some ridiculous punishment by her school, why on earth would you not let her do as she pleases?

Anyone remember D'arcy from the Smashing Pumpkins? Totally goth (back in the day) and very blond. But if she's got her heart set on black, if school's okay with it, it's probably not worth having a big bust up over.

Try using a henna? They do bars of it at lush and it will wash out after a while but also is quite nourishing and conditioning if you're worried about damaging her hair. She could always get it cut to say shoulder length then shorter next time if that's what she wants? She needs to experiment and find out who she is - I had my hair flamingo pink when I was 14 - was soon out of that phase but it was a wash out so the mucky blonde came back without any hassle. Xx

"let" her very on with it. It's not your hair.

I have used the henna from lush. FYI it does NOT just wash out... I used the black one for a while and had to resort to all sorts of things to try and get it out. Ended up ginger so went for a red colour (from a bottle) after that... 7 years later I'm almost back to natural colour again but it took a long time for my hair to recover its health and it's still more prone to split ends/breakage than before. Having said that, if you can't experiment with your hair as a teenager, when can you?!

Whatever else you do, check with the school before you let her loose with the colour. From blonde, she'll never get it out.

If you can't experiment with your hair as a teenager, when can you?!

Absolutely this.

Remind her that if she has blonde eyebrows she will have to darken those too, otherwise the black will swallow her up.

I have a feeling that as a teenager, the more your parents disapprove the more you want to do it.

My DD at 13 and in the summer hols went blue. She had been depressed, done some silly things with paracetamols and needed to be herself. She went down the goth/emo road and then changed her hair to black, back to blonde, ginger and every colour in between even dying her clip on extensions to match. She went on to college, still not a terribly happy child , by then she was back to blonde. Messed about at College till a week before she was going to be asked to leave college she walked into the trendiest Hair dressers and got her self an apprenticeship.

My DD is the happiest I've ever seen her. She lost 2 stone and is a healthy size 12 and has a good hairstyle and colour all done professionally and for free!

So what I am saying here is, in my DD's case I'm so glad I let her experiment because she really did find herself.
(wipes a small tear from eye)

Pilates it's so good your DD has found her vocation. Children don't get enough chance to find out who they really are these days. Good for you supporting her.