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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Daddy has a tail? ....

67 replies

Whatdoesthismean78 · 26/02/2016 21:08

Sitting eating dinner tonight and two year old DD said daddy has a tail! Anyone else's lo's said this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Yourface · 27/02/2016 08:50

By the way 99.9% certain her husband doesn't have a tail. You knobheads.

Chocolatteaddict1 · 27/02/2016 08:54

My dd (3) said she had a tail the other day. A big one like a horses

Forget about it op.

I remember my dgf saying to my dd1 when she was little "of you cheeky monkey I'll cut your tail off!" She replied with " I havnt got one but my mummy has hairs'

Lots of news paper shuffling ensued ha ha

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/02/2016 08:56

we didn't say he had a tail

nut two year olds do use their imagination alot. I've had tails, fire breath etc all sorts. just play.

she hasn't been exposed to strange man's willies and dragons. dd2 is always talking about stuff

seven201 · 27/02/2016 08:57

I think she probably saw a willy/willies at nursery and maybe one he staff explained that only boys have them or she worked it for herself. What I find odd is that neither of you took the opportunity to explain that boys and men have willies when the subject arose. Why don't you talk to your husband about what you will say if the subject comes up again. As you're worried about the odd atmosphere it will give you another opportunity to see if anything seems odd. I think given your past you might be over analysing it though.

00100001 · 27/02/2016 09:08

yourface we are just saying that a 2 year old saying "daddy has a tail" is not an unusual thing. and for the OP to be jumping to conclusions about her DH and child abuse is indicative of a bigger more worrying problem.

She either hasn't had help or counselling for her own abuse, which is clouding her judgement on what is seemingly an innocent comment. Or she doesn't completely trust her husband around their child for possibly the same reasons. She is putting 2 and 2 together and getting 22. OP doesn't appear to have talked to child about it, nor has she spoken to her DH. again this is worrying.

For someone to jump to "child abuse" from that comment suggests there is a bigger, underlying problem on the part of the OP.

Also, sometimes, kids say what they see. the DH may well have a tail! We don't know. All we know is the OP is implying her husband has in some way sexually abused her child. She hasn't explicitly said that, but she's definitely hinting at that.

Chocolatteaddict1 · 27/02/2016 09:10

fire breath really made me laugh that lol

Chocolatteaddict1 · 27/02/2016 09:15

Oh didn't see the op other post about linking it to child abuse. I really didn't mean to make light of how she is feeling.

I agree with 001 there are some underlying issues here. op it's perfectly natural to feel anxious about stuff like that if you have been touched by sexual abuse. Have you w we spoken to some one professional ?

Booboostwo · 27/02/2016 09:18

I am sorry you are finding all this so difficult. I think it's highly unlikely your DD is being abused if that is worrying you, but very likely that your DD is becoming confused. I would stop all talk about tails and dogs, tell her the correct name for a penis and show her one. If your DH is that uncomfortable with nudity show her an age appropriate book. She may not understand everything right away but in time she can learn about the normal, physical differences between men and women and the correct names for body parts.

Stompylongnose · 27/02/2016 09:26

She may have seen a boy peeing or getting a nappy change. Or picked up on kids talking about willies and bums at nursery.

I would say tails normally grow from behind, human boys have a willy (or penis).

squidgyapple · 27/02/2016 12:54

When my dd was younger she had a short stay in hospital, the boy in the bed next to us was, I think, in for kidneys stones and the poor thing was moaning and wimpering through the night saying 'my tail, my tail...!'

I did wonder if that confused dd at the time, but she didn't say anything.

farawaystars · 27/02/2016 23:09

Whatdoesthismean78..

Hope your ok lovey! I'm sorry you encountered such trauma as a child, it must be awful for you.

Id like to say weather you have had psychological treatment or not, something of that nature may never leave your mind and may still cause anxieties. I personally have had years of medication and therapy to try and soothe a bad time in my past and I still find things difficult, especially if any such subject arises. It's ok to feel anxious and uneasy my love and extremely understandable.

I think at the time neither of you continued the conversation with your DS because for you it caused anxieties instantly and you didn't know what to say or think, and for your husband possibly embarrassment or the fact that he too didn't know what to say or think. It's a new experience for you both as parents!! My children have come out with things that Iv been stuck for words to reply or things I needed to consider some thought on before answering!

I'd like to add that your DH not wanting to expose himself to your DD isn't necessarily anything to worry about. My DH is the same.. It's not that he's weird, or that I should be worried or that he's a bloody pedo, it's the fact he doesn't want to walk around with his cock out in front of his little girls! He wants to maintain their innocence, which I think is a perfectly acceptable reason not to! Im not concerned at all about that.

I agree that "tail" may simply be something she's either decided for herself or heard from nursery etc.. "A doggies tail hangs between their legs so my daddy has a tail too that hangs between his" I think that's quite logical for a toddler to be honest.

Try not to worry but I do think you are right and you just never know.. You may think you know someone but there are times where horrific incidents can arise! I think you should ask the nursery if there has been any subject of "tail" and simply say you're curious as to weather she's heard it or has decided it for herself. I think to settle your mind just be a little vigilant for a short period of time. Nothing to feel guilty for and it doesn't necessarily mean you think your DH is a perpetrator at all. It simply means you have encountered trauma as a child which has caused you somewhat "poor mental health issues" and heightened anxiety. Your vulnerable, little DD has said something out of the blue that you have no obvious explanation for, your DH's reaction appeared odd to you and you simply need to (as a loving, concerned parent) settle your own mind that your little darling is safe. Put your mind at ease lovey and keep an eye out, if you feel the need to approach your DD regarding the subject then go ahead.

At least you care, many people may brush it off but as you said if you did that and something was indeed happening you would look back and feel terrible. It's better to be safe than sorry!

I hope all goes well lovey, here if you need support.

Footle · 27/02/2016 23:31

Maintain their innocence by making sure they can't name body parts ? Give me strength.

BertrandRussell · 27/02/2016 23:38

"Expose himself" "walk round with his cock out" "maintain innocence"

That is such inappropriate language to use in this context!

Emzyt1 · 27/02/2016 23:47

I've never seen my dads willy! He'd wear swim shorts if he ever had a bath with us girls when we were babies .. And he'd always pee in private or turn his back. Maybe op , your little girl has picked something up from nursery by the other kids. I know a girl had asked me if I'd ever seen my dads trumpet lol. I was a bit older than 2 though.

BertieBotts · 02/03/2016 13:17

If you are worried about potential abuse then you would be doing her a favour to teach her the correct words. When you say, yes, Daddy has a penis, it looks a little bit like a tail but it isn't a tail. Only animals have tails. All men and boys have a penis and they use them to do wee-wees with. Girls and ladies don't have one.

I expect your DH probably just felt embarrassed. It's quite a normal reaction but you don't need to feel embarrassed by it.

You could always ask her when she's alone how she knew about Daddy's penis and see what she says. It's likely that she's just seen one accidentally. That's okay because you can give her some information about how these body parts are private and we shouldn't look at another person's, but this is how to react if you see one by mistake (Say "Oh, sorry!" and walk away and close the door) or if somebody sees yours by mistake (Say "Go away, I'm naked" and if they don't go, shout for mum or dad or teacher to help.)

Witchend · 03/03/2016 21:26

Dd1 told me at about the same age that daddy was growing two babies. One in each leg 😃

Dontneedausername · 04/03/2016 23:42

I have a 5 years girl and 4 year old boy.
We use the proper technical terms of a Fluff and a winkie.
My daughter was most annoyed the other day that she didn't have balls and tried to poke her brothers ones. To which he shouted at her that she had hers chopped off to be a girl.
Kids just do say and do the strangest things!
Oh, my kids see me naked all the time. Don't think they have ever seen their dad, but obviously with them being different sexes, they know girls and boys are different. Plus, they constantly strip and dance naked about the house...

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