Getting depressed because I can't bring my baby anywhere where I live?

[WinterForest]

Sorry I wasn't sure where to write this question. My son is 10 months old and from the moment he got home I realized how hard it would be to travel with him (even to the grocery store). I live just outside of the city, so where I live doesn't really have many options for shopping or..anything really. The transportation here is really bad as well. I live where there are only trolleys (we call them streetcars) and there are 5 huge steep steps just to get up into the trolley and the entrance is so thin and steep it's impossible to get a stroller up there. There are no buses.

The only thing to get into the city is a street car. Once I got fed up so I decided to put my son into his stroller and walked. It took me 5 hours to walk to the nearest area that had places to shop (like Walmart) or anywhere I can buy lots of things I need. (I actually live in Canada). In total it was a 10 hour walk. I don't know how to drive so I can't drive anywhere. I'm just wondering...how can I travel anywhere if the transit here doesn't even let me get a stroller onto the trolley (it's literally impossible).

The one time I managed was when my boyfriend helped and we almost dropped the whole thing. People laughed at us :( Now that winter is coming (and snow) it makes things even harder. I have recently noticed how depressed this has made me. I just stay inside all the time now and my only option for groceries is to shop at a tiny over-priced store that has no selection. I feel trapped. I bought a carriage for my bike so I could use that but he's not old enough to go in there yet and I can't use it in the winter. How do mom's without cars do it?

I feel so depressed like I can't go anywhere anymore. My boyfriend (who lives with me) actually has a car but he works 12-15 hours her day (he's in the film business for lighting) so I often find myself relying on him for EVERYTHING. It's beginning to wear on him and it's starting to turn into this huge depressing problem. :(

I seriously almost feel like moving. I would hate to give this place up as it's right by a giant lake, has wildlife, and so many parks. The one thing it lacks is stores. Every decent store is 5 hours away by walking in any direction. I'm getting tired of shopping at convience stores for everything :( I miss going places. I know one day he will be old enough to walk onto a street car but for now I just sit here all the time at home.

Before I decide whether to move or not I wanted to see if there was an easy solution I totally didn't think about maybe. I really need help. :(

Can you learn to drive?

Have you tried slings?

God what a nightmare. You could try a sling for the next few months? And then once he can walk a bit do that?

Moving will take a while, once you've fine it he'll be walking and it won't be a problem anymore.

Done, not fine

Well, if your bf has a car why doesn't he do the shopping when he's not working?
Take driving lessons too so you can learn ASAP.

How about a sling so you don't need a pram to visit the city?

But what will you do for nursery/childcare agen your DS is older? Will you have to move to the city then?

What do other mums do where you live? Are you able to occasionally take a taxi somewhere? How about making friends with a local mum and sharing the cost?

What about one of those things hikers use on their backs?

You need to look into baby wearing. Once your baby is in the carrier your hands are free and you can use public transport freely. Babies generally love being carried too, it's win win.

Shop online and get it delivered to your home.

Put your baby in a sling and get a folding buggy.

If you got one of those extremely light fold down strollers, would it be possible to fold it down and carry your son and the folded up stroller onto the trolley?

You walked for 5 hours?
I know Canada is big, but there are no local stores?
Leant to drive & in the meantime get a sling.

Eg. This stroller fold into a backpack. So you would have both hands free for your son. www.families.com/wp-content/uploads/media/QuickSmart_Backpack%20Stroller%20ComboLR.jpg

Buy a sling/ back pack and then just carry your folded pram and baby up the steps.
If you have money for caf??s/ coffee shops, and there is enough to do, you're boyfriend could drop you there on his way to work and collect you on his way home once a week.
Look for any community groups so you've at least got friends to be stuck at home with.

Do you not have online shopping in Canada?

You definitely need a baby back-pack. Then you could go wherever you wanted. You may not be able to shop as carrying extra stuff would be tricky but at least you could be out and about.

Maybe we all have no idea exactly how remote you are. There is only so remote you can be in England and walking a 10 hr round trip would be totally alien to most of us we'd fall off the edge.

Maybe moving is not so crazy?

I used a baby back pack for my DD1 from when she was about 9 months old.

It is basically a special rucksack which is a seat into which you strap the baby and then you hoist it up onto your back as normal. DD loved it, as it gave her a good view of things, though she did take to playing with my ears, putting her hands over my eyes and pulling my hair and ears. It allowed me to use transport like London Underground which had until then been too difficult with a pushchair.

The do need to be almost sitting to be able to use one of those safely (DD was), but if your baby still isn't then you could use a sling.

Otherwise, can you shop online? Do any of the stores deliver to you? Check their websites and they should tell you.

You need to learn to drive and you must have your own car if your OH needs his during the day. It is a top priority. In the meantime have lessons with the baby in the back of the car and start the lesson at the supermarket with all your shopping in the boot. That way you only need to pay for a taxi to take you and your baby one way.

For Walmart they ship to your home and are brilliant. There is a reason why they are the #1 store. Amazon is also very good for bulk ordering. If you join Amazon Moms you can save on stuff you buy.

The driving test isn't that hard and you drive an automatic which is much easier. I would think 3 weeks of lessons with 3-4 hours studying the highway code and you would pass the test. After that you must have a car. Worst case lease something small for 3 years. You can find some good deals that work out to about $200 a month when you factor in the initial payment.

I think it's lovely to live out in the countryside, with lakes and wildlife... But it's isn't always practical. I moved from a village to the edge of a city when my youngest was a baby because I felt really isolated. There was as only one small shop in the village that was run by volunteers so didn't open all the time. I was a bit desolate but it seemed such a lovely idea to live in the countryside. The sense of relief when we moved was massive. All of a sudden I could walk to a good selection of shops, parks, baby groups. And we can still drive back out to the country on there weekend and do all of here lovely, idyllic things but my life was improved massively, day to day, by not being stuck out there. I'd really consider it in your position.

In the meantime definitely look into getting a decent baby carrier and a folding buggy. Being stuck and dependent is bound to make you miserable.

I really can't think where you live that's on a streetcar route but that is so inaccessible . I'm guessing it's Toronto but a five hour walk to decent shops sounds strange?

I've not had to take kids on streetcars but regularly flew with my young kids without any help. I used to use a lightweight umbrella stroller and carry my baby or toddler when there were steps. I used a maclaren stroller that I bought in Canada years ago.

I can't see how it's a problem unless you have mobility issues which I don't suppose you have as you managed to walk ten miles.

If you have bags to carry too then have you tried asking other people for help on and off the streetcar? I'm sure people would help.

I think a car is essential to live somewhere as remote as you do. Otherwise slings are great for public transport, especially if you also get a tiny umbrella stroller for when your DS starts to feel a bit heavy!

My baby back pack of 20 years ago was something similar to this one, but was blue and a much older model (DD1 is now 20!!) and was blue.

www.amazon.co.uk/LittleLife-L10551-Littlelife-Discoverer-S2/dp/B006T65UTU/ref=pd_cp_75_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1MG0RANMB2NQ9VHMRQS3

I don't live in Toronto, I live on the very very edge of Etobicoke. There is only one street car that comes up here along the lake. I don't think I've seen a bus once. I tried going both directions walking and both times it took 5 hours one way. I tried looking on google maps for close stores (like Walmart, a mall, an area with a selection of stores) but it's all very very far to walk to. There are some shops here like I mentioned but they are all very conviencey...(I know that's not a word) and very over-priced. The one grocery store we do have is the most costly place I've been too in my life and it's so tiny and doesn't have much. It's like a big convience store. :( It's just hard because sometimes I need to buy clothes, or gift items, or certain things (or even toys for my son) and there's just nothing around here that has any of that. There is a bigger grocery store...well not very big but even that takes 3 hours of walking. :( It's just a mess everywhere I look. Even if they just had one plaza even an hour walking away I'd be fine with that.

I never thought of the baby backpack idea. I might try it out. My son is pretty heavy (25 pounds now) and active. To be honest he never liked slings. He likes his stroller, so maybe he will like the backpack idea. I'm really into the back pack idea now. I actually always carry a back pack so this might be a good idea for me. He probably will pull at my hair and ears :P he does this already, but maybe if I wear some kind of hat with a string on it. Thanks I never thought of the back pack idea before.

I do use amazon but I guess I just wish I were more mobile and not confined to doing all my shopping online. I really want to get into the city ideally with my son so I will try the back pack idea :) I have a feeling he will like it because he's always super curious about things. :)

Have you just moved to the area? What did you used to do before you had a baby?

It sounds like the area is just remote, and less about whether you use the streetcar. Have you found any baby groups/other mums to hang out with?
How do you spend your days?

you only need to use a sling to get on and off the street car. Get a really small umbrella fold stroller, push him to the street car, take him out, put him in the sling, fold stroller, get on, then when you get off put him back in the stroller.

In London we have low floor buses now, but this is new, when my DC were little, this is how we went everywhere, every day.