just had this email from ds form tutor. i am so upset

[7swansaswimmingup]

these are comments from 2 of his subject teachers.

* is a pain, and it doesn't seem to make a difference who I sit him next to, I'm going to sit him on his own next week. I'm with them now, and if I've had to ask Luke to concentrate once, I've asked him a hundred times.

** is very disruptive and I have had to have serious words with him on a few occassions. He cannot be trusted to work on his tablet as he plays games or makes noises on it so quite often I make him work on paper. He completes very little work and tries to stop others working as well. I was actually going to call home on Wednesday if his behaviour hasn't improved.

that the prob with email

the 'reply' button is right beside the 'reply all'

no it was definitely meant to be sent to me. still waiting phone call back.

spoke to ds he said through his tears that hes sick of being bullied about his teeth and that he hates my ex for keep upsetting us, and i spose cause the ex is at the school that doesnt help matters and thats what making him so angry. he was saying it through gritted teeth and crying his eyes out.

shall i wait till 5oc when schooloffice closes and ring in the morning and demand an immediate appointment?

btw whast a tablet

i hope you get it sorted

for your ds

a tablet is a lap top computer that the head who has taken over our school has issued toall year 7's instead of books/pens. hence the problems initially at the beginning of term when he went to maths lessons with the tablet and no pen because apparently they didnt need them

Ring at 4.30 if they haven't called back. School finishes at 3.30 so I would think an hour to speak to all concerned and get back to you is reasonable.

Does ds have a particular problem with his teeth? Could something be done about it?

agree iwth frekc
tyr na remove everyhign that gets him vitimised.
tis sensible

' is a pain'?????

what kind of language is that from a teacher?

he gets called buck teeth cause the two front ones are rather "rabbity", hes got an apt to have 2 teeth taken out in 2 weeks, another 4 out in may then hopefully fixed braces by end of next year. hes been bullied since aged 5 when started school so must be awful for him, but because he reacts to it the kids do it even more.

hes got loads of mates and is popular and i thought was confident but this behaviour is a shock. im going to ring at 4.30 like youve said and see what they say.

just phoned the school and neither of the year 7 heads are there! no emails sent to me either since i phoned. ive left a message that i want them to ring in the morning urgently, the reply was "il leave a message and if they can get back to you they will". not good enough, il ring in the morning

definately not good enough "il leave a message and if they can get back to you they will" my arse!!!

I would be sat outside the heads office mind you I probably would have said something like ok if I dont hear from them I will just take it to the LEA or the board of governors!!!

just spoke to ds again and its definitely the bullying about his teeth which is making him so aggressive, why hes being singled out amongst so many buckteeth kids i dont know. but at least i know the reason for his behaviour now which is a relief in a way.

he had a fight the first week of starting because of his teeth and the boy in question was put in isolation for one day. apparently its not just one boy its "hundreds" he says, bless him.

hes just cried again and said he wants an operation to put his teeth right and not have to wait a year for a brace then get bullied for wearing one.

im pissed off with the school for the way they have handled this and for a school which is so called "caring" in their prospectus they havent done a very good job of finding out why a normally well behaved boy has suddenly got disruptive

thankyou for your anger helen , glad its not just me

I agree with nailpolish. It is very unlikely that the teachers who wrote these comments ever meant them to be sent in an email to you. Someone's made a big mistake here. SHould never have been sending these sort of comments via email in teh firts place.

i think praps they were sent out of mistake by the teacher in that she is a new teacher and praps wasnt aware of the procedure, but they were cut/pasted onto her email which she had written a full paragraph of her own to start with.

she seems like a lovely form tutor so i would not want her to get into trouble. she herself spoke very affectionately of ds.im more annoyed by the fact that "whoever" has been investigating ds for at least a few weeks to gather these comments and i wasnt informed.

hopefully i will get some answers tomorow

I'm shocked. I don't care whether they were sent out by mistake or not - I don't think that professionals should be exchanging this kind of email about any child in their care.

Obviously teachers get fed up with kids but calling children "a pain" is for the pub after work or over a coffee in the staffroom (possibly). However I do think that if it becomes acceptable to talk about children in this way it is a short step to totally disrespecting them.

They are either stupid or naive if they don't realise that things written in emails can easily get forwarded and may end up in the wrong hands.

Its depressing to think that these are the people who are meant to be setting our children a good example.

ok ive just spoke to the school again and theyve apologised for sending the contents of the email. they also said they should have told me that ds had been having problems.

they are going to put him on a positive report so no negative comments at all.

they are going to inform his subject teachers that he is still getting bullied about his teeth.

his form tutor who sent the email apparently really likes ds and really wants to help him and is very sorry, feel bit sad for her really, she is a new teacher and probaby thought she was helping.

anyway im in the schoolworking tomorow so i will chase it up incase its all blown under the carpet.

thanks all for your input and support

Glad you're feeling better about the situation.

I just wonder if you might be better keeping your working situation separate from ds's situation - if that's at all possible! Other, of course, than speaking to your colleagues in an informal way.

It must be really difficult for you at the moment.

Regarding ds's teeth, I'm assuming that he has been referred to an orthodontist by his dentist. I know from DS1's experience that nothing can actually be done until all the baby teeth have come out, but he should at least be referred so that you have an idea of what is proposed.

If his two top front teeth really protrude because they are much longer than the other teeth, you could have them drilled down to shorten the length. There is no problem with this. I had an accident when I was very young, which pushed my baby teeth up into my gum. This had the effect of making my second teeth crooked and one of them was longer than the others. Rather than go through braces, etc., the teeth were merely shortened slightly to make them the same length as the others. Obviously they are still slightly crooked but it is less visible.

Just a thought.

As an aside can I just say that senior school form tutors etc do send emails if requested? My sister used to get them from her DD's school. I think that one of the reasons is that letters sent home often don't get there (children leaving them to fester in the bottom of school bags, dropping them off in bins etc).

hi all,

just got back from doctors with ds and after speaking to him on his own she said he is a very "unhappy boy", which makes me sad.shes writing to the school to ask for urgent counselling for him.

ive just spoke to the year 7 student support lady again and she said that the year7 head didnt know about the investigations going on about ds, she has emailed all the teachers who submitted emails about him and told them they should have gone to the head of year 7 and not sent the emails. at least they know they have mucked up.all very apologetic.

hes not going in today, hes very upset, so gone to bed

when he goes in, in the morning he will have his positive referral given to him and the teachers will be made aware of whats happened.

fairyjay, i know what you mean about keeping it seperate, i wanted him to have couselling outside school but the doc doesnt think he would get it as quick as in the school because of being referred.

freckle, he has got an orthodontist, hes having 2baby teeth in a few weeks, 4 second teeth out in may then hopefully brace at end of next year. his teeth are dead straight, its actually his top jaw which really overlaps the bottome jaw, it effects his eating and his speech bless him.

im off to tesco to get him some goodies which might cheer him up.

7swans
You sound so much more positive now that you know what's happening.
Get a few treats for yourself from Tesco, as well!

ah thanks fairyjay, ds is now watching a new dvd which i couldnt really afford but thought , oh blow it! hes stuffed himself with chicken and french stick.given him tablets for a headache and hes happily snuggled inbed watching film.

i did get myself a treat, a big bag of toffee popcorn!

thanks for everyone helping me through this even cod, i must be privelidged

How very very rude and unprofessional to say he is a pain

That is totally unaceptable

Aw, poor boy.