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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

a two year old terror..so embarrassed and need advise..is his behavoiur normal!!

55 replies

NessaWH123 · 18/07/2015 14:13

I am writing this post after yet another embarrassing morning out with my 2 year old son. I am at my wits end as to do what else to do..he is probably just a boisterous and very stubborn toddler but I do worry there is more to it... Today he has spent all day saying no, arguing back about everything..from what he wants to eat, to toys to play with, not wanting to go out, then wanting to go out, then we go to a funday and he hits the peppa pig character thinking he is funny, getting over excited so the lady asks us to move on, he screams at the top of his lungs because I sat on a chair he wanted and everyone looked, he threw his food down because he didn't want the choice and then created because he wanted something else..i am soo embarrassed. He has always been a very strong willed character but some weeks he is a little more chilled and then he will have a month or so of being the devil child! Everytime I get him out of the car he starts to scream v loudly and fight because he wants to play on the front seat..yet some days I need to get in the house. I do all the usual with distraction, firm voice, finger on lips to ask him not to shout and TRY and stay calm but it is so wearing and I feel a crap mother. He doesn't concentrate for any length of time and we went to speech and language as he has glue ear and she commented on his very poor concentration. I am a primary school teacher and am fine at my job but cant seem to control one little boy! This is the start of the 7 weeks holidays and I should be looking forward to them but they are filling me with poor dread in my stomach. any help please..thanks

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/07/2015 19:28

Had to smile at pushy nightmare. Think that pretty much explains me too when it comes to my school and their health.

There is some very, very good advice on here OP. Hope that things start to ease soon

TheseSoles · 21/07/2015 19:32

Interesting read! I have a similar nearly 2yo, she also has glue ear but I hadn't really put those together.

You're not alone.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/07/2015 20:01

These have you had a look at the leaflet from the National Deaf Children's Society up thread?

And Nessa please don't compare him to the other children at the childminders, well unless they are all boys of the same age and all have glue ear

TheseSoles · 21/07/2015 20:13

Yes, I read all about it when they thought my DS had it (actually he seems to have a different form of variable deafness! Still in the middle of diagnosis for him) but initially they thought DD2s hearing was fine despite the glue ear so I didn't think much about it.

Argh. Right will chase up her care too now!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/07/2015 22:10

Sorry to hear that. Have you joined the NCDS then? I'm trying to get my friend to join who's son is going progressively deaf.

NessaWH123 · 21/07/2015 22:22

Movingonupmovingonout thsts brill advise thanks alot. I have shared it with my other half and we agree we need t push forward even if we have to pay as your story and advise is very reassuring im off t look tom for more concentration type activities:) thesesoles i know what you mean that its nice t hear you arent alone and like me it has encouraged you to push forward now. Hope u get somewhere soon

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 21/07/2015 22:47

Good luck :)

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/07/2015 07:01

Did you say you are a teacher Nessa? Have you finished for the summer now then?

NessaWH123 · 22/07/2015 07:08

Yes julie why? X

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/07/2015 07:19

Just wondered what your childcare arrangements are over the summer. Have you given anymore thought to what the other posters have been saying about changing to someone who is more empathetic to his needs?

NessaWH123 · 22/07/2015 07:44

He is at home this summer ( which i will find difficult and worry over if this behaviour goes on all summer:( but i am keen t chsnge t a nursery but my little one still likes a good few hours sleep in the day wjich i know He wouldnt settle to in a nursery and without sleep he is even more impossible so im stuck what to do. Think ill try talking t the childminder again x

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TheseSoles · 22/07/2015 07:46

Yes I joined ndcs earlier this year. They have been fantastic - really recommend them if anyone is feeling stuck.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/07/2015 22:12

How are you getting on now Nessa? Are you finding that keeping speech simple as a pp suggested, using one sign and having a routine is helping?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/07/2015 22:19

Wish I'd known about I Can when my DD had speech delay. Just spotted this leaflet. Think all HVs should give it out!

Lndnmummy · 23/07/2015 09:05

Hi, just wantd to say you are not alone! We had a terrible time when our little boy was two, he is much better now at 3.

NessaWH123 · 23/07/2015 14:55

thanks for asking Julie we have been using the simple speech and routine but to be fair we were doing that prior to this post anyways. I trying to developing the signing more but to be honest nothing new and nothing has changed yet. He is still the same as he was and testing my patience with his argumentative and tantruming manner... hopefully things will improve in time. To be honest part of it his just him, he has a very strong will and a fiery temper anyways.
Lndnmummy thanks so much for responding and its nice to know im not alone !! Heres hoping 3 is a better age than two! did you have similar with finding it difficult to go out anywhere without embarrassment? Any suggestions of what to do or is it a matter of time (apart from glue ear issues of course which I will be continuing to deal with and push forward for)

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NessaWH123 · 23/07/2015 15:22

Julie that leaflet you have tagged is really useful thanks. I am looking on the I can website at the moment and am at the shop. I was wondering anyone got any suggestions for the best books, resource packs etc to buy as a parent to help my sons language development and are there any resources for concentration issues? thanks

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SleepShake · 23/07/2015 15:39

Does he have any intolerances or allergies?

Does he have any rash on his body?

How was his 1st year of life?

NessaWH123 · 23/07/2015 15:54

No rashes. He was very unsettled first year of life- didn't feed well or sleep well and often crying. He had constipation which is being managed now with movical . Why?

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NessaWH123 · 23/07/2015 17:23

OK new one for you my son still sleeps for 2/3 hours in the afternoon in his cotbed and recently refuses t get out when he has woken up!! So today he refused t come out and when I tried he just cried! I said OK I'll go downstairs and when u r ready I'll come and get u out,.left him 25 main and he just lay around and then sat there not bothered! In the end I took him out and he tantrumed!! I'm confused by his behaviour. Any advise? Seriously is this normal toddler behaviour?!

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TheseSoles · 23/07/2015 17:32

It's not that unusual for deaf children my 3yo boy with hearing loss loves his sleep! It took until he was 3.5 to grow out of his need to sleep (several times a week after preschool) from 3pm-6am the next morning without waking for dinner! He was often really horribly grumpy when he woke after naps as well.

It's called concentration fatigue. Basically because they are working so hard to follow what is going on/people are saying they are exhausted.

SleepShake · 23/07/2015 22:29

Nessa, I ask because I'm wondering whether there might be an underlying food sensitivity reason to his behaviour.

My LO has a delayed reaction to wheat and dairy and it isn't very obvious at all. But their is definitely a reaction and results in an upset stomach which makes him very very grumpy and the kind of behaviour you are describing.

I'm just wondering whether food sensitivities or a medical problem had been ruled out?

How is his sleep?

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NessaWH123 · 23/07/2015 22:40

He loves his sleep sleeps 3 hours in day and around 730 till 730 am at night. How do u test for wheat and dairy intolerance ? I do wonder at times if there are underlying reasons. What behaviours does yr little one display? I understand what u mean about concentration fatigue. Could explain things

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SleepShake · 24/07/2015 08:52

Nessa, when she has any of the offending foods then she is very much on the edge, will cry over every little thing, and in a bad mood generally.

NessaWH123 · 24/07/2015 23:34

OK so how did u go about finding the offending foods sleep shake thanks

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