4 year old impossible to potty train and starting school in Sept - any advice?

[puddymuddles]

I have been trying to potty train DD1 since she was 3 years old. She is a bright girl and has no obvious special needs but refuses to use the potty/toilet and seems afraid of growing up - always saying that she does not want to get bigger or go to school and talks about when she was a baby and the things she had and toys she played with almost as if she wants to be a baby again.

She goes to nursery 2 afternoons a week and has a younger sister who is 2 and I am expecting DC3 in June.

Her keyworker at nursery says I should ask to be referred to a child psychologist as DD has been saying lots of things at nursery about how she doesn't want to grow up etc. Everything else at nursery is fine - she is well behaved and has lots of friends.

I have been to GP who dismissed my concerns and said they couldn't refer her to anyone as she does not have a physical problem.

All the things that work on my friends' children do not work on her - bribes, star charts, rewards, getting big girl knickers I have tried them all. The most she has ever done is agree to wear knickers at home and has done a few wees on the toilet then seems to get fed up and doesn't want to use it anymore and just has constant accidents. I am starting to encourage DD2 to use the potty and she is a lot more interested but then DD1 gets even more upset and won't do it at all.

Please help - she is due to start Reception in Sept - they will think I am some lazy parent who hasn't bothered to toilet train my child whereas I have been stressed about this for ages.

Should I go back to the GP?

That sounds like good progress. And although having both doing it at the same time isn't perhaps how you imagined it, fingers crossed by the time baby number 3 makes its arrival you will only be changing one lot of nappies.

Cedar - yes, hopefully only one lot of nappies when new baby arrives! DD1 is not having many accidents and has had no accidents at nursery. DD2 will get it in the end though she has to be reminded a lot to use the potty. Will keep at it!!!

Hi, i can see this was posted around 6 years ago!!!

However, i have now got thee exact same issue with my 3.5yr old and i was wondering how you got on in the end??

Any advice id really appreciate it!

X

FGS she doesn't need a child paychologist and no your GP isn't being a dick they're being honest. There simply aren't the resources for this. She's barely stoppped being a baby herself and you have another on the way. It's probably a kneejerk reaction to this. If you want her potty trained then you have to give her no choice IMHO. NO nappies. Bare from the waist down. Be sensitive and indulge in other baby things for a bit if needed but make it damned clear to her that nappies aren't an option any more. You're her parent and it sounds like she's going through an extreme but allbeit normal phase. Maybe try and really think about how YOU as her parent can support her through it rather than medicalising it. Child services are so oversubscribed that I'd be very surprised if you ever manage to get a whole lot of input from them. Sorry but that's just reality