DS wants to know how babies are made - help!!!!

[TheGrandPooBah]

DS (8), want sto know how babies are made. He knows all about gestation, periods and birth but not about the deed itself and conception. I find this absolutely terrifying and would very much appreciate some advice re what books to recommend or sites to show or anything at all really. Help please!

I mentioned to mine that mummies and dad's have a 'special hug'.

There are probably some good age appropriate vids on YouTube.

I'd go along the lines of two people like or love one another, the man puts his penis in woman's vagina, his sperm come out to find the egg which is inside the woman. When the sperm fertilises the egg, it starts the process of making the baby.

Lying about a 'special hug' just sets yourself up for trouble. Tell the truth at an age appropriate level.

My explanation was similar to what zippey posted. Factual, simple, appropriate.

There are some great books in the library. I agree with zippey keep it factual and basic.

At 8 he is perfectly old enough to be told the truth. Forget about special hugs, or anything silly. Tell him the truth so he knows the facts. Nothing to be terrified of.

We have had this for children from age 3. Please don't talk about 'special hugs' . I have always believed in giving as much info as possible as young as possible - the younger they are the less embarrassment there is. Treat it factually. Also, don't forget to emphasize that the vast majority of the time sex is not about making babies - very few books point this out.

At 8 he should gt a proper explanation. Zippys is perfect.

what zippey said. it's what I told mine, although they were a little younger when I explained it to them.

I would just worry with the special hugs or stork explanation that they sound twee, as if your afraid or embarrassed about sex.

I think if you want to keep any sex communication open that you are as honest as possible. I don't see any issue to answering their questions in a similar fashion from the moment they start asking, which may be as young as 3 and 4.

I read lets talk to ds when he was 8. Found the book and drawn pictures helped answer all (and more) of his questions for now.

This came up with my children when they were 6 yo. I went with a very truthful, straightforward explanation.

They were fine with it. Remember they don't know it's embarrassing unless you tell them it should be.

Why are you terrified, OP?

TheGrandPooBah please do remember to include stuff like it is for grown-ups/adults and not children. There is no rush or pressure to do it. It's important when you are older to treat people with respect etc. Maybe that sounds a bit old for his age but I don't think so. Better to prepare in an age appropriate way.

We all know as kids grown it is important for them to understand about the other person's feelings etc and about consent (in an age appropriate way) both for themselves and others.

My friend's child learnt at ten and found it more disturbing. Earlier is better I think.

At 8 he can hear the truth.

Don't pass sex hang ups onto him.

This is a good book, jokey. Mummy laid an egg

I would tell him the truth at 8. My ds was very interested in this topic and was constantly asking for more and more detail, so I told him, as briefly as I could get away with, when he was 6.

For them, it's just the same as anything else - they want an explanation and then they move onto the next thing.

Congratulate yourself that you have a child with an inquisitive mind. My ds is now 16 and a bit of a science whizz!

Can anyone recommend a good book for all things girly? Periods, boobs, birth...I have a good general sex book but wondered about something more girl specific for discussing puberty with my daughter.

Thanks

Take off the y and add ies.

Just tell the truth. 'Special hug' talk will at best confuse him and more likely leave him worrying that he's going to accidentally make someone have a baby by hugging them.

We used the Mummy laid an egg story too.

Ask him to explain what he knows about male and female bodies. Correct notable errors, and add just as much more as he seems to need. don't overwhelm him with detail, but don't lie or get cute about it either. Repeat this every few months to create the habit of talking about hard to talk about things: sex, drugs, alcohol, consent, responsibility, STD's, pregnancy, condoms.

DO point out that different families have different rules and expectations about when and how children learn these things, so he should not be surprised if some friends don't know as much, nor put himself in charge of teaching them.

Thanks all. Am not looking forward to the talk, because he gets embarrassed if there's kissing on TV, so this will really weird him out. DH and I looked up some stuff on YouTube, and I'll check out the suggestions above too. I agree that honesty is absolutely essential, and we are open with him about everything else in our lives. My best friend is gay, so he's totally fine with the concept of same sex relationships, knows why periods happen, about vaginal vs C section births - we just somehow managed to leave out the intercourse bit. My fault for being a scaredy cat! But I'll think about telling Miss Four now as well, in whatever age-appropriate ways there are, so that we don't get to this stage again.

Dakota I just bought 'what's happening to me (girls' edition) from Amazon recently. It is very good, very matter of fact and succinct, but approachable for a child to read. Would be fine for 8 years plus I reckon. (My dd is nine.)