Cross!!! DS (3) was badly bitten by another boy last week...

[calebsmummy]

....and now he has gone from loving nursery to being tearful about it.

The boy bit him through his fleece on the side and broke the skin and left nasty bruising which has only gone down in the last day (this was 6 days ago) The mark still looks nasty...the boy must have some sharp teeth on him!

Normal procedures have been followed and I don't have a problem with how the nursery have handled it, but the mother of the child knows who he bit and hasn't bothered to approach me to apologise at all. I would be mortified if my child had hurt another that seriously and would make a point of apologising. Would anyone else?

So now I have a little boy who was so upset this morning because I lift share with my neighbour and he just wanted me to collect him. he hasn't been worried about it before , in fact he has always loved going to/from school with my neighbour and his friend.

Saying that, I must go and collect him now, make sure I am first in the queue (and give evil galres to the mother of 'Gnasher' ....not that I will..)

Ds has a little scar from a vigorous sword-fighting incident. He calls it his duelling scar...

It's not the biting which is a huge issue, it's the manners like evilannie says. I haven't come across any biters in the 12 years I have been a mother and I know a lot of children, but obviously I am aware it does happen. And thats just it, it does happen, it doesn't mean you are an awful parent but apologising for your childs behaviour when it is as bad as the boy who bit DS surely should be natural.

As beckybrastraps says, she apologised ( I think the book of shame is going a tad far, poor you!) but she apologised because her child had hurt another (albeit his best friend) Just normal basic manners! BTW BBS, your son sounds lovely and his relationship with his bf sounds like DS and his 'buddy' next door.

Do you think there are muzzles for persistent biters?

calebsmummy, I don't think that giving some apologies FOR your child is teaching them anything except that some else is taking responsability for it. If I was to do anything, I would have my ds apologizing again in front of me and the mum.
Re leading by example, if I actually knew the mum, I would enquire how well is the child and show compasion for him. I would do it in front of my ds to show him the consequence of what he did and how to handle the repercusion. However, I am not responsible for what he did, he is. (That implies of course that I am teaching him not to bite etc.. in other circunstances than hte creche environment)

Fair point, Amaretto, I can see that would work well, but she hasn't done that either.

This is a subject very close to my heart. My ds2 has been biting since 9months old (he's now 21 months). He has bitten out of anger, frustration, boredom, you name it.
I am a bit upset about the 'nice' and 'not nice' labels that have been bandied around on this thread. He is otherwise a very good child, from a caring, supportive and 'professional' household.
Everytime he does it, I am utterly devastated. I immediately remove him from the situation, give him time out, make a fuss of the bitten child and apologise profusely to the offended child's mother. He is then brought back, shown the child's wound (and some of them have been bad), told it is not nice, it hurts etc. and told to apologise. He then has no tv, treats or otherwise for the rest of the day.
I have done this consistently for 12 months now and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.
Please don't be too swift to judge the children or their mothers - none of us are perfect, only trying our best to be good mummies and daddies to our offspring. I hope I am a good person, I hope I do the right things when this happens. Any suggestions welcomed!
A very, very wry smile to those of you who seem to have adopted a slightly superior attitude (my child has never...etc, etc) You do not know what is around the corner and today's angel may well be tomorrow's devil - pride comes before a fall remember!!

i can sympathise with you jakeandbensmummy, my son's biting habits was the thing that brought me to mn in the first place. he is now 5 and getting better. with my son it was the frustration of not being able to vocalise his feelings and so he just bit or hit out as a first reaction. i did use star charts for quite a while and changed some of his diet which is working. (although now he still has his moments!). my ds(13) is the most placid even tempered boy who wouldn't hit even as a defence, they are so different yet brought up exactly the same.