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Not coping with constant crying

84 replies

Silverstorma21 · 15/11/2014 22:10

Dear all, I have joined here because I'm at a loss with my 6 week old baby. I am truly struggling and have no one to help me. I am hoping I can get some advice from this forum- forgive me if I don't follow protocols as I am unsure how this all works!
Basically my baby has been crying a lot for the last 4-5 weeks. In fact it's not really crying but more like screaming. Today was a bad day she started screaming at 9,30am and didn't stop until about 5pm. This happens roughly 4 days a week on average. We have tried the usual colic type remedies: infacol, Dr Browns bottles; gripe water; warm bath; baby massage; changing formula to lactose free (on docs advice); baby gaviscon; sitting up to feed + 30 min afterwards.
I'm struggling to cope- it's really preventing me from bonding. I can't take her anywhere as she screams and people look and stare and come over and try and give pitying comments. I've had people complain when I went to Costa- to be fair she was awful. I cry most days and I'm begining to resent her as I don't do anything with my horse as I can't comfort her enough to take her with me. I never eat with my husband as one of us is always trying to settle her. And we don't spend any time together as I docjobs at the weekend that I can't do in the week due to her crying whilst he takes her out the house to give me some cry free time.
I am so alone as no one visits because of her crying and I am so overwhelmed by it all- my parents live abroad (mum works for the UN so can't just come at the drop of a hat to help) I am getting to the point that I dread waking up in the morning as I know it's all going to start again.

Is there anything I can do that I haven't tried already? I'm scared if I can't sort it we won't bond and I'm already atruggling to find any love for her.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Silverstorma21 · 26/11/2014 19:32

Well according to fatedestiny if I take the median figure 175x 4.5kg =788ml so 26.6 ounces. She's 8 weeks now and weighs just over 3.5kg

OP posts:
Silverstorma21 · 26/11/2014 19:34

Thank you for all the support. She had cranial osteopathy on Monday and basically slept the entirety of Tuesday! She's been aomewhat better but is a little unsettled again today. We shall see what tomorrow brings!

OP posts:
Shootthemoon · 26/11/2014 19:38

Wow! I heard great things about cranial osteopathy but never quite got there with DD plus I'm wary of woo.

Glad that you had a day free from grumping anyway Smile

Justgotosleepnow · 26/11/2014 21:35

Ah great, my dd slept a lot after cranial osteo appointments. Really sorts out their little bodies.
Hope it all settles down for you x

AliceAnneB · 01/12/2014 01:46

My son was a horrible screamer. I could have written your post. My GP was useless. My best friend booked me an appointment with a private pediatrician because I couldn't even talk on the phone! Best 200 quid we ever spent. If you have the money skip the GP and go straight to someone who can help. We went on Ranitidine and it really did help. But the dose is very weight dependent and has to be changed frequently as the baby gains weight.

The only thing that got my son to sleep was thunderingly loud white noise and pitch dark. We had a bathroom with no windows and I used to stand in the dark with the shower on full tilt and the sink going plus the white noise app on my phone and then move out of the bathroom like a ninja (a very depressed and tired ninja). The white noise on the phone kept the noise level high enough that he didn't wake (mostly). Poor wee things are exhausted. It made a difference when we got a schedule going too. After he ate in the bathroom we went and he started to associate it with sleep. It meant not going out much but I was desperate for less screaming. He slept with white noise until he was two!

Everyone will tell you this but it does get better - really.

Purplelooby · 07/12/2014 01:29

My little boy (now 2) was the same and I hope that by sharing our experience it can help you or that you can pick out something that sounds like you and identify what's wrong.

Firstly, my LB drank a lot of milk (he wouldn't have stopped by himself, just got in more and more pain) but he fussed during and screamed after feeding, so we knew he had silent reflux. For him it was a combination of tongue tie and cow milk protein allergy (lactose free milk won't help this). This caused a LOT of crying but that wasn't the main problem...

Secondly, my LB like your LO was almost impossible to get napping and that (I only realised at 6 weeks) was the main cause of his constant, inconsolable crying. He was massively, massively shattered. I worked very, very hard on establishing good nap habits and I won't lie, it took a long time to truly get there, but I saw light at the end of the tunnel very quickly after starting. A website called Troublesome Tots helped me to get some ideas, but it turned out he would get tired around 45 mins after waking up. We had to use every trick in the book to get a nap and we even had to vary it through the day because he would get wise to us. We would get 30 mins at very most, but wow, what a difference that made! It was as if he had to learn how to do it. Like your LO he always was (and still is) good at night and sorting out day naps made him even better at night.

Lastly, my LB hated cuddles (this made the whole sleep thing above much harder) and was very sensitive to sounds and textures. He was frequently bored but also very easily over stimulated. He is a highly sensitive child and we are querying sensory processing disorder (he won't let us put TV on at the moment because it's too noisy). I'm sure this added to the sleep problems but it also led to quite a few over stimulation meltdowns (which was more obvious from around 6 months).

I don't know whether any of this us relevant to you but I truly hope something in there will ring a bell. I ended up with PND too and I honestly believed that he hated me. Please Google 'Wonder Weeks' as it helps to explain why babies suddenly get much easier at certain ages. My LB is still very sensitive but he's a very well-behaved and clever little boy who seems a far cry from the angry little thing who I felt like I wasn't bonding with and was generally failing for the first few weeks of his life. I send massive hugs because it's such an awful place to be, but I promise that the changes are rapid and positive. Xxx

josephine1986 · 08/12/2014 15:14

Sorry haven't read all of thread but would second yellow's post above regarding cows milk protein allergy/intolerance. My dd was the same and has it.

It is simply not true that it is accompanied by rashes (intolerance in particular has mainly digestive symptoms) but is still painful for the baby.

It is simply not true that it is rare, it is thought that around 3-5% of babies are allergic (or intolerant) to cows milk protein. There are probably more than that which are not diagnosed , or grow out of it prior to weaning .

Push push push to see a GP or out of hours that will take this seriously.

josephine1986 · 08/12/2014 15:16

Ps this information is from the 2 dietitians I have seen , through referral, eventually (I was bf so I saw them regarding my own diet )

Your baby is relying on you - sorry to be harsh. If she is screaming when in sling or being cuddled, after napping, and well fed and burped - you need to question medical cause

AliceAnneB · 10/12/2014 21:45

Give us an update OP - we're all pulling for you and your little one. Big Hugs.

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