Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How do you deal with kids who have a motor tic

35 replies

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 09:06

Can I please ask, if your child has a motor tick like blinking / winking and raising a shoulder type of thing - how do you deal with it?

Do you talk to your child about it or try to ignore it or hide it?

Do you find it embarrasing? Is your child finding it embarrasing and upsetting? How do you deal with that please?

Someone I know has this issue with their 8 year old and their way of dealing with it is really puzzling me.....

OP posts:

ROARmeow · 21/09/2014 18:53

My 4 year old DS (my PFB) has several tics.

I try so hard to ignore them as Ive found that if I mention them he takes it as criticism which makes him nervous = more tics.

I hope he'll grow out of it.

Yes, I do get bit embarrassed by them, but try hard not to.

cece · 21/09/2014 18:57

They can't help it. I'd ignore it. I would also take them to doctors for a diagnosis.

LittlePink · 21/09/2014 19:46

My nephew was doing eye blinking and coughing for a time. He was referred to a consultant who had a good chat with him and diagnosed him with stress at school. He was being bullied so was moved schools and he has stopped it all now hes settled in a school hes happy in. Not saying that's happening with your DS of course, just saying what was going on with my nephew and what was causing his blinking and constant coughing.

LittlePink · 21/09/2014 19:47

Your friends child I mean!

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 19:48

This is the bit I don't quite get - how can you ignore something that is rather obvious, especially if it bothers the child?
Would it be a bad idea to try to help the child not feel embarrassed, by just making light of it maybe, and saying it's nothing to be nervous or ashamed about?

OP posts:

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 19:50

Thanks Little Pink. Friend's little girl is allegedly happy at school, and the problem persisted during the summer holidays so mum is convinced it's not school related

OP posts:

LeBearPolar · 21/09/2014 19:51

DS went through a whole range of these for a few years at primary school. Every now and then if he is stressed or tired now I will notice one, usually a shrugging motion, but they have largely disappeared.

We were lucky in that he seemed to be largely unaware he was doing it. As long as we ignored it, he was unselfconscious about it. The throat clearing phase seemed looooooooooooong, though!

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 19:52

And the other thing is that the friend won't take her DD to the doctors... She just reads lots about it and is now worried her DD might develop Tourette's.

OP posts:

Carrie5608 · 21/09/2014 19:52

CAHM's offer CBT for this. I think its called transient tic disorder if it lasts less than a year.

ChampagneAndCrisps · 21/09/2014 19:53

I think the response varies depending on the tic. Sometimes we ignore, sometimes we sympathise, sometimes we say 'stop'. We never blame them.
When we say stop - it's to try and help them regain control. To try and remind them their tic is hurting them.
It's very difficult - sympathy rules over every response. Tics can be difficult to live with

Goldmandra · 21/09/2014 19:54

Would it be a bad idea to try to help the child not feel embarrassed, by just making light of it maybe, and saying it's nothing to be nervous or ashamed about?

It's fine to talk about it in a matter of fact way if they bring up the subject and you could help by listening to how they feel about it. What you should never do is call attention to it or criticise them for it. That just makes the whole thing harder and longer lasting.

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 19:57

So the general advice appears to be ignore and not mention the tics....

I guess I was in the wrong to think that making light of them might help....

OP posts:

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 21/09/2014 20:00

Thank you everyone

OP posts:

Sunshine200 · 21/09/2014 20:08

I asked the doctor about my
Dd's blinking tic the other day and he told me to ignore it too.

ROARmeow · 21/09/2014 20:22

OP, are you sure that the child is upset by the tics??

My son doesn't even seem to be aware that what he's doing is 'odd' or a tic. Often it's an involuntary thing that they can't control, so sometimes it doesn't even register with them that it's happening.

Making light of it, or poking fun is a bad idea.

ChampagneAndCrisps · 21/09/2014 21:55

We don't ignore tics- I don't think ignoring a tic diminishes it's frequency. It's like an itch in their brain and they have to do it.

We don't criticise the children for having tics.

If you ignore all tics it can feel like you're ignoring the suffering the child is going through. They don't want to be ticcing.

babypup · 22/09/2014 08:54

My 5 year old son has tics, started just after his 4th birthday in April 2013. It's been a long 18 months and very unnerving as new tics develop. It's mainly been blinking on and off, but at the moment he has recently added in a slight noise in the back of his throat (hard to describe and subtle). It's really only when watching TV and idle, when busy and active he rarely tics. My advice, ignore, ignore, ignore. When an adult mentioned my son's blinking to him once it seemed to make it worse, he focussed on it, tried to make it stop and would pull at his eyes. Before it was mentioned, he didn't really seem aware. I think at 4 (your friends sons age) that is the best strategy. Not easy I know x

babypup · 22/09/2014 08:56

Sorry, just realised he is 8 not 4. He will no doubt be slightly more aware that is age, but all reading/research implies ignoring is the best option. Unless they bring it up, want to talk at which point perhaps some gentle reassurance that this shall pass possibly

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 22/09/2014 10:36

Thanks babypup

When I say making light of it, I mean - for a child who is aware that they have these tics, is it not better to say that it's no big deal, nothing to worry about, it's just a phase no biggie - that kind of "light"?

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 22/09/2014 11:56

If the child is asking about their tics they need answers or they will worry more and tic more.

It's fine to offer reassurance in response to questions. Lots of people have tics at some point in their lives and they generally go away all by themselves.

I would also offer a listening ear in case the tics are there because there is something else stressing or worrying the child.

babypup · 22/09/2014 12:02

I often wonder what I will do when my son asks, as he's only 5 he doesn't bring it up so neither do I right now. Brainsurgeon, I agree with Goldmandra, if they ask, offer reassurance, keep it light so as not to worry the child, and bolster confidence as much as possible so they are able to deal with questions that other kids might ask around that age. I often think my job is to build my sons confidence so much so that nobody will be able to knock him down, no matter what challenges he may face now/in the future.

ouryve · 22/09/2014 12:06

I used to do it and pointing it out just made it worse.

DS1 tics (mostly verbal) and, so long as he's not grunting or shrieking in my earhole, I leave him to it because he gets quite upset by it.

ouryve · 22/09/2014 12:10

Would it be a bad idea to try to help the child not feel embarrassed, by just making light of it maybe, and saying it's nothing to be nervous or ashamed about?

Put it this way - just reading threads like this makes my throat itch, which is always a precursor to a good old throat clearing session.

If you don't tic, it's hard to understand. Think about breathing, though. Breathing is something we do completely unconsciously. Discussing breathing makes you aware of your breathing, though and it becomes harder to breathe at a normal, natural rate.

zzzzz · 22/09/2014 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

BrainSurgeon · 22/09/2014 12:41

I stand corrected.

I thought the mother was 'doing wrong' by feeling embarrassed and trying to hide and pretend it's not happening, although it was very obvious to me.
I also didn't realise that talking about it in front of anybody (even in a very non-critical, non-judgemental, light hearted way) is a big no-no.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2