How do you deal with kids who have a motor tic

[BrainSurgeon]

Can I please ask, if your child has a motor tick like blinking / winking and raising a shoulder type of thing - how do you deal with it?

Do you talk to your child about it or try to ignore it or hide it?

Do you find it embarrasing? Is your child finding it embarrasing and upsetting? How do you deal with that please?

Someone I know has this issue with their 8 year old and their way of dealing with it is really puzzling me.....

To quote babypup - I thought the mother should do just that: "to build my sons confidence so much so that nobody will be able to knock him down"

How can you do that if you're embarrassed and your child thinks it's embarrassing and horrible?

I thought the mother was 'doing wrong' by feeling embarrassed and trying to hide and pretend it's not happening, although it was very obvious to me.

That's what's so lovely about MN. Other people who didn't know will also have seen this thread and now have a deeper understanding if they come across a child with a tic. That may well save a child or a parent a lot of stress they really don't need

Anyway, I don't want this to be the next "super-soaker"

I get the message, I was wrong, tics are best ignored and definitely not mentioned.

Thanks for the advice everyone, and sorry about the throat itch ouryve

Goldmandra

I'm used to the throat itch. I can banish it a lot more quickly than as a 10yo :o

At the height of his ticcing, DS1 had a truly horrible few days of snorting like a pig. He hated that one and got really upset about it. Obviously, then, we didn't completely ignore it - I gave him a hug, told him what was happening and reassured him that yes, it's horrible for him, but we know he can't help it. Unsurprisingly, he was extremely stressed at school, at the time. The tics virtually disappeared the day he learnt we'd managed to secure a place for him at a lovely specialist school and are back to being just an occasional visitor and far less intrusive.

He stims a lot more than he tics and has a lot more control over that, and we will shush him when we can't hold a conversation over the noise! He likes stimming and, since learning what it is, has experimented with different types of stim. Naturally, we do encourage him to keep a lid on those in public, unless he really needs to do it because he doesn't like the attention they draw.

I think there's a difference between not worsening something by going on about it unnecessarily, and expressing appropriate sympathy that a tic must be, at least, annoying to live with.
Two of mine have Tourettes, and not about to ignore every symptom they have to suffer. Their previously constant ticking has been better recently. The medication for their illness helps.

Oh dear Champaigne, that must be hard. So glad to hear that there is medication that helps!
Thank you for the advice, it is much appreciated

Thank you.

I think the thing about tic disorders is that there is a massive spectrum. Having a tic can just be normal, and transient, especially in childhood. Tourette's syndrome is having a mixture of motor and vocal tics for over a year. People have different ways of coping.

I've always taking the view it's a neurological illness that they have to learn to cope with. It's not their fault. Stress makes them tic more, but it didn't cause Tourettes in the first place.

I know my kids are open about their tics, as am I. Their friends have often been great about it.

I remember early on my daughter feeling so relieved when one of my friends expressed sympathy directly to her when she couldn't stop ticcing. On the other hand she feels that my mother is not really her Gran because she has never acknowledged that DD has the illness.

So I think each person is an individual. For me I've struggled with the fact so few people are willing to ask anything about the stress of living with a constantly ticcing child. Things are better now - so don't worry about that. It may be nice to ask the mum how she is about it - if she wants to talk she will.

Apologies if I've said too much.

You have most certainly not said too much, I am really grateful for your thoughts. I had a painful experience recently with the mum so she won't talk to me :-( very upset :-(

So sorry to hear that.
Take care