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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Right, I really need help to get dd1 to tidy her room....PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

30 replies

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 20:38

I have done disappointed, let down, bl**dy annoyed, downright furious....every day, every weekend, school holiday....but she won't! 3 grudging steps forward occasionally followed by 16 back. Even when I give her clean, folded clothes and tell her to put them away they often end up on her bed or floor, sometimes to be put straight back in the wash. I'm probably hopelessly soft and a terrible mother but I am really stumped. Help me please!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 20:40

How old TT?

oh and btw, I haven't received your email so sent one of my own.

nerdgirl · 25/09/2006 20:40

How old is your DD? And what actually happens to her when she dumps her clean laundry?

ScummyMummy · 25/09/2006 20:41

How old is she? Can you help her do a little every day?

LoveMyGirls · 25/09/2006 20:44

its probably got to the point where she doesnt know where to start. give yourself a weekend to clear it out (depending on age i would consider doing it without her there as then you can chuck stuff out without it being a war zone) once it is clean and tidy tell her to expect it to stay that way and make sure she does 10 mins everyday (at least) give her storage, laundry bin and rubbish bin to help her. hth

SSSandy · 25/09/2006 20:45

Just bumping this along for you because I need some good tips on this too!

QueenEagle · 25/09/2006 20:45

With my dd aged almost 15, she starts with £50 per month and I dock as appropriate throughout the month for things not done, ie homeowrk, cleaning room, tidying clean clothes away, washing up etc etc. until it's payday.

On payday, I add it all up and if she has lost £8.00 that month, I pay her £42.00. It has really made my dd pull her socks up. Out of this money she buys all her own toiletries and cds, contact lenses and phone top up, so to lose £8 means she might struggle to top her phone up next month. Tough.

Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 20:46

(have just replied DG)
She is 10. I don't alwaysdiscover dumped laundry immediately. I tell her off, make her put it away if it's still okay, rewash it if not.

OP posts:

Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 20:49

We used to give dd1 and ds1 money for passing room inspection on Saturdays but aftera fewweeks they stopped bothering. It'sa real battle.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 20:50

Not got it TT...............

Anyway, I am impressed. My ds1 is 10 and I just do all the picking up after him. Sometimes I say tidy your room, but he only tidies a fraction of what needs doing. Sometimes I tell him to put dirty washing in the laundry box, but most of the time, if I say nothing, it goes on the floor and I clear it up the next time I am in his room.

I am impressed that you are trying to start a proper regime. I will read other responses with interest.

LoveMyGirls · 25/09/2006 20:55

i am amazed, i must have a very tidy dd1, she is 7 and has tidied her own room for years every few months i will go through it, maybe have a move round, hoover under everything but she keeps it tidy and makes her own bed everyday, its her room (well she now shares it with dd2 who is about to turn 1) but its her space somewhere she can go and chill so she looks after it.

since she was about 3 and they had tidy up time at nursery she has helped tidy up at home she probably started doing her room at about 5 and is very proud of it (always shows it to whoever visits)

TaraPalmerTomkinsonsNose · 25/09/2006 20:55

you need to make a rule its tidy beofre shcool adn before bed everyday

after breakfast send her up to get dressed and tidy
a dn the ame before bed time

soapbox · 25/09/2006 21:31

I send them upstairs 5 mins before bedtime to get PJs on and tidy their rooms. I go up 5 mins later with a black bin liner and anything lying around goes in! First time it stays in the bag for a week then they get it back - second time and it goes in the bin (in theory - have never had to do it).

I almost never have anything in my bag these days! I make a big joke of it, heavy thundering steps going upstairs saying 'who's got toys, books and clothes for my bag then' etc etc!

You should see them get a shift on, as I shout up '2 mins left'

DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 21:32

Sorry for hijack but TT I have not received any emails from you. If you have the CAT facility, you can CAT me (it is a different address). Otherwise, I can only wait until tomorrow and see if your email has arrived then.

curlew · 25/09/2006 21:32

Not wanting to be provocative, but why does it have to be tidy? I would be tempted just to leave it. Don't re-iron anything that's been chucked on the floor, obviously, and don't replace anything that gets damaged or lost in the chaos, but it's her room, if she wants it like that, let her have it like that. You can always close the door so you don't have to look.
For other household jobs, I swear by my timer. I make a list of jobs that have to be done by each person then set the timer for 15 minutes and we dash round seeing how much we can do in the time. Usually a huge laugh and very productive as well.

DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 21:37

I must admit, I did think a bit along curlew's lines myself. To some extent, I leav my children's rooms in whatever state they put them in, but then mine never get so bad that you can't walk in to the room. I think they will learn to tidy their rooms as they get older and want them to be tidy, or if not, then they will turn in to little me's - mess everywhere!

Of course basic hygiene measures like putting dirty wasing in laundry need to be addressed, but general messiness isn't the worst crime.

[Is it? asks DG anxiously looking at mess around her.]

Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 21:39

Ah, dd also asks this. I'm not asking for aspotless room (would be hypocritical if I did) but I do object to her dropping things the moment she's finished with them, losing things and expecting us to help dig for them and just not respecting things and letting them get broken on her floor. And I WILL NOT wade through ankle deep stuff to change her bedding.
(DG, we havea CAT but not sure how she works, other than popping cat food in at one end - could she give you a message? I'll try...)

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DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 21:40

Contact Another Talker clever clogs!

Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 21:41

(DG, I'm too stingy to pay £5... there may be another way... £2.50 shouldcover postage btw, is this okay?)

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 25/09/2006 21:41

Another way? The Nat West bank?

helsy · 25/09/2006 21:41

I've tried lots of stuff with my dd1 (6) too.
but found the following work:

Helping her
Letting her do a little bit at a time
Being really, really specific - not just "tidy up" but "put the jigsaws back on the shelf and the furniture back in the dolls house"
Not letting her play with something different until the stuff she's just been playing with is tidied away
Making sure she knows where everything should go -if you don't know, how can they?
I know, most of this is "might as well do it myself" stuff, but it's the only way to get it to sink in I think.

Oh, and walking behind her with a large bin bag saying "this one's still on the floor - can it go in here then?" in a slightly manic voice

noddyholder · 25/09/2006 21:45

I agree with curlew don't worry about it being tidy as long as its clean.I don't think 10 yr olds can really tidy like an adult although they can put bits away and in the bin.

SSSandy · 25/09/2006 21:49

but how can you clean a room if it isn't relatively tidy?

noddyholder · 25/09/2006 21:54

Quicker to tidy it yourself or'both'do it I know this is no help but I don't think kids should do housework

Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 21:57

helsy, this is so intensive - I have to dictate her every move or she just lies down. Andeven when it does get tidier, it's back to square 1 by the next day.
(Ha ha DG - hang on I'm still thinking...)

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Original poster

TooTicky · 25/09/2006 21:59

Her floor is litteredwith clothes, scrap paper, books, toys, apple cores, cups, old bits of bread....

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