Right, I really need help to get dd1 to tidy her room....PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

[TooTicky]

I have done disappointed, let down, bl**dy annoyed, downright furious....every day, every weekend, school holiday....but she won't! 3 grudging steps forward occasionally followed by 16 back. Even when I give her clean, folded clothes and tell her to put them away they often end up on her bed or floor, sometimes to be put straight back in the wash. I'm probably hopelessly soft and a terrible mother but I am really stumped. Help me please!

Take the cups away. Don't allow her drinks in her room in future.

As for the stuff littering her floor, give her a plastic bag and tell her to put whatever she does not want to keep in the bag. Give her a set time to do this in.

When the rubbish is cleared, ask her to put away the stuff she wants. perhaps make sure she has storage places for all those little bits and bobs.

Don't expect her to keep it tidy all the time. maybe you could have a set day when you clean her room and she has to tidy it the night before.

What do you think?

I know, I know, but we'd got to the point where she doesn't have one complete game or jigsaw, at one point she had FOUR vests on the floor in her room, I was washing things so often because I didn't know if they were clean or not they were starting to fall apart, and even her friends were saying she had a messy room - and a lot of her toys were going to waste because she couldn't find them! I don't think leaving that sort of situation was an option for us. DH, dd1 and I did a massive clean and tidy in an hour on Saturday evening and it was fun, but once we'd done it she looked really pleased with herself because she did help.

Ah DG, you're getting the hang of this - methinks your ds won't know what;'s hit him...
Btw, I didstarta threadwith your name on it. I'll just bump it...

Every couple of months I help them blitz their rooms. All outgrown clothes get passed on to cousins, crappy toys with bits missing that I ahve been dying to chuck get thrown out, the clothes get refolded and rehung and they end up taking a great pride in their rroms for a while after. Deffo helps to give them a hand.

Ah, you obviously have higher standards than me. If I don't know whether it' s clean or dirty, then it's obviously not very dirty and can be worn again. The key is, don't help or rescue her from problems creatred by the mess. Eg - a school book crushed beyond recognition "Oh dear, I'm sorry that happened. `What a shame it wasn't on the bookshelf. Yes, it is going to be difficult explaining to Miss X on Monday, isn't it?"Decide whether it's a battle that you really have to win, If it isn't, don't start fighting.