How do you handle your fussy eaters? One meal or no meal? Options? etc..

[Bobsmyaunty]

My 19month old DD has narrowed what she will eat and will rarely try anything new. Apart from the odd spag bol, I've never managed to get her to eat any meat ever.

She will eat: pumpkin seeds, all fruit under the sun, chips, baked beans, toast, cucumber and tomato's (recent additions), pasta, cheese (only if it's grated) and that's pretty much it. No egg anymore, no meat. I've offered her loads of stuff and she won't even try it.

But.. my question is, how do you handle it? do you offer one meal only and that's it if she doesn't eat it? Still offer pudding? Or put a variety on the plate?

Last night she didn't want her spag bol, but she had yoghurt and banana for pudding and was asking for 'more', which I didn't give her. Later I could tell she was still desperately hungry so gave her a baby biscuit. But I feel like this offers no incentive to eat dinner.

Please pleeeaaase share with me what you all do so I can sort myself out and formulate a better plan of action! This is driving me nuts!

Any way bobsmyaunty IIWM I wouldn't stress and just give what she eats for meals and fruit if she's hungry between meals oh and water to drink, If she's still drinking milk she won't be that hungry anyway.

JiltedJohnsJulie - My apologises. I had though you had gotten them confused/mixed up :)

My DD is 2 and is very fussy. She goes to bed without dinner quite a lot, but doesn't seem bothered by it. She also isn't losing weight or changing her percentile.

Around 19 months on advice from a HV, she said to offer her food and if she didn't eat it, not to offer her anything else, she didn't eat hardly anything for a week, I'm talking about 1 bite of bread a day and three times a day breastfeeding, although the HV recommended I stop BF altogether, I refused. I eventually gave in and let her have what she wanted as I couldn't stand to see her not eat anything at all.

Her diet is very limited, yesterday she ate Cheerio's, a yogurt, a few crackers, bread, a small Ella's, and a few chocolate chips (potty training reward). Even though she was offered lots of other things, she just refused or ate the things she wanted.

The best thing I find is if I just set the food in front of her, tell her what it is and then not to say another word. That way she is more likely to pick up her spoon and eat.

Strangely, my DD is least picky when we are walking around the store, or some place like that, she tries all the free samples, wants me to open all the packages and will eat anything, but if I get her the same thing at home, she refuses it. She also likes to help make cakes, etc. and she tries EVERY ingredient that goes in. For example, we were making banana bread and she ate a whole banana when it was in the bowl for mixing, but as soon as she got down and it wasn't time to bake anymore, she wouldn't want a banana next time she was hungry. Or she will eat a whole raw egg yolk as it's going in, but if I were to offer her an egg, cooked or otherwise, she refuses at meal times.

I just do the best I can and try not to get too discouraged, but it's hard. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find something that works for you.

ppeat your GD is vegan then in the same way I am. I'm dairy free but still eat bacon butties .

Multi no worries

I read back and it must have just gone over my head

IMO and E there's so much emotion around food e.g." I've cooked it so you'll eat it". If you give dcs cold healthy food in small bowls on the table then they can choose what they want and it's not such a performance (esp. when they're going through the fussy stage).

The word reward is loaded too. DCS don't naturally see ANY food as a reward; we are the ones who say it because of our parents. That's why they 'play' with their food, it doesn't have any connotations for them. IFYSWIM

PPea - it is incorrect to refer to your gd as vegan when she clearly isn't. and sorry I call BS - you have no way of KNOWING that she is the healthiest in her class - no way at all.

If you had read my reply to Jilted you will see my explanation for using the word . Apart from the fact she is never ill of course.

It's all about education. If you child is hungry they will eat. If there is a strong dislike to a taste then they don't like the taste, they don't eat it and it is pushed to one side of the plate. The mistake is to placate, don't - just calmly encourage to push the unwanted item to the side of the plate and swiftly move the conversation on. The education is (unfortunately) if you do not eat you will be hungry...so you learn to eat at the appropriate time and ergo you will not experience hunger pangs...simples! Forcing children to eat will give a child lifelong eating problems and lead to obesity ie eating everything on their plate. Placating with many other alternatives actually encourages a fastidious eater, who then goes on to eating problems ie only eating one or two items of food everyday and none other.

My child's preference was for a very full breakfast and therefore at school only wanted a light lunch...had a midday assistant at school forcing him to eat his sandwich or he couldn't go out to play. I was up the school, like a long dog and told the Head to keep this person away from my son or I will be doing some forcing of my own!

Hope this helps. :)

No one is suggesting to force a child to eat. They either eat something or they don't. And not all forced eating leads to eating problems; I was forced to eat as a child, "eat something or you don't leave this table", and I can honestly say I do not have an eating problem.

Eating problems stem from relationships with food and your mental state - this isn't always due to some parents making a child eat.

How can a child explore foods/meals of different variety if all they are given are cold bowls of different things. Why cold? Why not burittos and topping sets out or letting them top their own pizzas. Broaden the horizons of their palate :)

My mum used to say "how can you say you don't like it if you've never attempted to try it" which is so true :)

I disagree with fishfingers and I don't think you should withhold something your child will eat (fruit and yogurt) because they won't eat or don't like the food you did serve them.

They won't see a reward/punishment relationship IMO at such a young age.

I've read your explanation ppeat and I still don't see how you can refer to your GD as vegan

Well good for you Multiple The little bowls are only for when they're fussy it's a stage that passes, to stop the parent taking it personally if their lovely hot cooked food is refused.

Murphy36 YYYYY Exactly and fruit and yoghurt are nutritious anyway why stop the dc eating it.?

jilted I said she is called one by her mum it's just shorthand anyway; some vegans won't wear any animal products and some do, some eat honey and some don't , give me a break here FGS

ppeatfruit - apologies that you're probably getting bashed by vegetarians and vegans. We hate people saying they're veggie when they're really not. No true vegan will eat honey. A vegetarian will. Neither will eat fish.

Anyway derailed the thread. Just keep offering children a range of healthy food and they will generally eat when they're hungry.

jilted I said she is called one by her mum it's just shorthand anyway; some vegans won't wear any animal products and some do, some eat honey and some don't , give me a break here FGS it isn't really my fault if you feel got at. You do seem to say quite ill informed, goady things

OP I want to reply because your daughter's list of acceptable foods is like my daughters was a year ago! Things are better now! I was particularly surprised about the pumpkin seeds. I had a brand new baby so took the approach that I wanted my daughter to be healthy rather than fret over a particular food. My daughter was still bf at the time, she started to eat more when I stopped that. She also eats more now she is teaching her little brother table manners (may be an extreme solution!)
Nutrition wise, I decided to present her with 4 veg a day, three that she usually accepts. And not to worry if she ate them. I didn't always manage not to worry. Protein wise, she liked peanut butter on rice crackers, and omelettes. No other eggs, just omelettes. She would eat more of the first thing in front of her, so our toaster developed a fault - oh dear, toast not ready, start eating other stuff. Peppers and hummous were another great one for knowing they are having something nutritious. And I always let her have a portion of fruit or a yoghurt after, but limited it to one as once she realised there was only one 'pudding' she ate more. My daughter won't eat everything but now she's fairly socially acceptable, and will try a bite of anything!

Peer pressure is a wonderful thing :) My daughters fussy phase coincided with new baby, but also not being at the childminders, eating with other children. Eating with friends helped (toddlers, not a formal dinner party!). We now can eat the same meals 4 nights a week (due to work patterns kids eat without us the other 3) - so we would have initially 'her' food then a bit of 'our' food, eg, she would eat sausages and chips, so we worked on it being sausages and mash and beans, then sausages, mash, leeks and peas. Which she ate. We had sausages once a week for a month! But I eventually got sick of cooking more than one meal, so we had to compromise!

Last post - that stuff about getting them involved is true. Topping a plain pizza base, mashing the potato, grating the cheese.
And what I was trying to say last post is if she is being fed by someone else, eg grandparents, uncles and aunts - let them do it. Don't hover saying 'cheese needs to be grated, no, cucumber needs to be cut sideways...' Sometimes they eat better for other people - give her a chance to do that!

Was going to suggest varying the food offered. So cucumber once a week along with other veg

Not having or buying crap (biscuits, crisps, lollies, cake etc) in the house/out and about will change things hugely.

Stock up on oat cakes, various veg sticks, humus, grated cheese, egg for snacks. If she's not eating her tea generally, avoid giving her snacks in the two hours before a meal. So if eating at 5, the last snack should be at 3

Tickle the thing is if you cut out everything like that you turn it into something extra special and naughty that you can only have when mum isn't looking... and that's not a great thing once dcs are a bit older. I give little bits as part of healthy range of foods, so nothing is seen as a treat. Same with puddings. Puddings are just part of dinner, but I make them a healthier option, i.e. fruit and plain yoghurt, or a homemade fruit crumble with unsweetened custard.

I'm not sure there is a right or wrong way of doing things though. The main thing is never make food an issue or a battle.

Personally I think its fine to have a treat a couple of times a week but its unhealthy to have treats daily. A mars bar one a day for the rest of a persons life will have a negative impact on health.

I think my kids like treats as much as the next child but they have a great understanding of what's healthy and they do make independent healthy choices.