How do you handle your fussy eaters? One meal or no meal? Options? etc..

[Bobsmyaunty]

My 19month old DD has narrowed what she will eat and will rarely try anything new. Apart from the odd spag bol, I've never managed to get her to eat any meat ever.

She will eat: pumpkin seeds, all fruit under the sun, chips, baked beans, toast, cucumber and tomato's (recent additions), pasta, cheese (only if it's grated) and that's pretty much it. No egg anymore, no meat. I've offered her loads of stuff and she won't even try it.

But.. my question is, how do you handle it? do you offer one meal only and that's it if she doesn't eat it? Still offer pudding? Or put a variety on the plate?

Last night she didn't want her spag bol, but she had yoghurt and banana for pudding and was asking for 'more', which I didn't give her. Later I could tell she was still desperately hungry so gave her a baby biscuit. But I feel like this offers no incentive to eat dinner.

Please pleeeaaase share with me what you all do so I can sort myself out and formulate a better plan of action! This is driving me nuts!

Meat is important, it's one of the most effective ways to get certain vitamins,. B12 literally can't be gained naturally in any other way.

Doesn't sound like fishfingers is saying she's going to force the kid to clear a plate or anything.

No, murphy just sends her to bed without anything to eat .

Fish is a good substitute for meat . How come my vegan GD is the healthiest dc in her class then ? (She does have eggs and fish occasionally).

My DD is still very fussy at 5. I can't stress about it too much anymore. Like yours she's limited but it's all ok stuff.

I'm a good eater now but as a kid survived on cereal and cheese on toast, so I have faith that she'll improve eventually.

'Meat' for me includes fish :)

Non-meat or animal product diets aren't necessarily bad for babies and children. But! Things like B12, omega and other vitamins/minerals are either most effectively or only naturally gained from eating animals.

These things are particularly important for brain development amongst other things.

I thought that the omega fatty acids were only gained from linseeds and pumpkin seeds or mackerel.

And greens are full of protein. I still wouldn't send my dcs to bed without any food if they only ate bread and butter I'd give them a vitamin smoothie or something . Nothing positive comes from making your dcs eat. IMO and E.

I would be wary of getting her too used to sweet things as an alternative to food. So banana with yoghurt, even if unsweetened, is rather a rich pudding perhaps.

Often at two it's about texture and independence as much as taste. She might do better with stir fry than with spag bol which is actually boring and annoying to eat when you are only little as it slides away off the fork .

I would also keep an eye on what she is drinking. Is she filling up on milk? its a great food but it can be unhelpful. Sweet fluids, including natural fruit juice, are IMHO best avoided as they fill them up and increase their appetite for sugar. There's no goodness that she wouldnt get better from a handful of raspberries.

Nobody has said they are forcing their child to eat at all. You seem to be a little confused ppeat. I think its fine to offer food and if its refused assume they're just not hungry. Mine had days at that age when they would survive on fresh air and other days when they ate us out of house and home. If it was a none eating day, we just tried to go with that knowing that it would probably even out over the week.

To imply that she is likely to give her dd a food disorder is a bit extreme. I grew up in a fairly poor city in the 70s and it was totally normal for the family to have one meal and you ate it or went hungry. None of my friends, or anyone I know developed any food issues from this.

Being forced to clear your plate is a different thing entirely.

OP have you tried the giving her something on her plate you know she will eat and leaving her to it thing yet. I think it was a good idea to eat your meal then busy yourself so that you're not watching over her.

My 18 mo was very late to wean (11 months), and has been very slow to try new foods. She is suspicious of new textures more than new flavours, which might be something worth looking at.

My method is to not stress, offer a new food, let her play with it and taste it, and just take it away if she discards it on the floor. I allow her to eat what she wants, and then offer the pudding (always fruit and/or yoghurt) regardless.

If DH and I are eating something different, and she is looking interested we will let her sit out our lap and try things from our plate. That's how I discovered she loves smoked trout and mozzarella, which I would never have thought of giving to her. Adding smoked trout to scrambled eggs means she will eat a full portion rather than one spoonful.

I will also confess to using distraction (probably frowned upon). She eats better if she has a book or a toy to look at. On a really bad day I might even resort to letting her watch a favourite program on i-player while she eats. That never fails. Adults absentmindedly eat in front of TV, so it is a hardly a surprise that dcs do too. Wouldn't recommend doing this often though.

Don't make rules about not being able to leave the table, or not being allowed pudding unless xyz is eaten. My parents did this, and it has left me with lasting issues around over heaped plates of food. I actually feel nervous, and my appetite goes.

My second born DD (18m) will eat almost anything we eat. My PFB DS (now 4yo) has always been "fussy". Rejecting large numbers of family "favourite" meals (spag bol, shepherds pie, korma and rice, casseroles) from since he started solids really.

Have stressed, fretted, bribed etc... But best approach or us was to take a huge step back. Try never to comment on what is/isn't being eaten only on 'manners' (how nice and still you're sitting, how u are using fork etc) and congratulating on trying/tasting any new or disliked foods.

We try to do meals where we know he likes at least something, e.g. Jacket pots and casserole (eats former). We always put a very small amount of the new/disliked thing on his plate too. No pressure to eat it but if he tries everything he can have pudding (yog and fruit) and a biscuit at bedtime (as well as or instead of banana) and milk. I make sure he's not hungry before bed with milk.

Range of foods has improved over years although some accepted foods do occasionally get "dropped". He has his own independent likes (whole baked fish with head on?! And chicken drumsticks...) and dislikes (baked beans) so even if i dont concurr I have to have some respect for that.

How come my vegan GD is the healthiest dc in her class then ?
You cant possibly know this, its your opinion.

OP I dont know your whole routine obvs, but whenever my ds got a bit more fussy I would try to push meals back when routine allows, I really think toddlers don't have much natural greed especially for savory foods, if they don't have appitite either your pretty much screwed for feeding some children. Fresh air is so great too for building appitite.

I cannot recommend this book enough

Ds1 is 9 now but he was incredibly fussy until he was about 6. I did used to give him food I knew he would eat with something new as well and not stress if he didn't eat the new things. For years his favourite meal ( which he had several times a week) was dry cooked pasta, broccoli and grated cheese. I figured that it seemed to have the main food groups in it so it was ok.

Ds2,on the other hand,was never fussy at all!

5toocool we have exactly the same approach in our house. One meal, small portions, no pressure to eat, no puddings generally. I have the best eaters I know and they will eat anything - mussels, curries, salad etc.

In your shoes I'd avoid giving sweet puddings or biscuits completely, avoid giving snacks (if not eating meals), use alternative proteins like lentils and cod, feed her the meals you eat, eat as a family, avoid giving the pasta-cheese meal completely

DD at the age of 2 ish decided that she would eat nothing but pasta, tomatoes, ham. It lasted 6 long months. Then she started eating other stuff but very fussy, didn't like food mixed up (so no shepherd pie for eg), food touching, food hot.....
We let her do her own thing, gradually being more insistent about trying etc. now at 6 she is a reasonable eater.
Her brother is not so bad but fussy too, rules with him is that he has to have 3 pieces/mouthfuls.

Sometimes I let them, other times I force them a bit. Depends on my mood, theirs and the food.

Tonight I slaved over a marvellous fish pie. They like all the ingredients in isolation, just not together. I kept some of the mash separate which they had, then gave them a spoonful of the pie. There was much fussing. We allowed them to drown it in ketchup. They ate it in the end.

I pride myself on being an excellent cook, they don't know how lucky they are the little devils.

Also we never had beige food (fish fingers, chips, nuggets, pizza, sausages, pies) in the freezer/fridge so never relied on them for quick meals. Quick meals tended to be salmon, healthy stir fries etc or other varied meals.

Rabbits Well as you cannot possibly know the circumstances that's a sweeping statement. I helped in her nursery class actually and most of the other dcs had continual runny noses,asthma, and were absent a lot with flu|tonsillitis etc. which she didn't have, and still doesn't have, so I DO know.

ppeatfruit asthma is a hereditary chronic lung condition that has nothing to do with how much or which veg, protein or carbs you eat!!!!!

ppea My family is Vegetarian and my son is prone to infections, and he eats healthy. My bf son has asthma and BPD, is this caused by his food, or lack of? No, it isn't.

In our house we have a "you have a choice of this or this" and if they don't want any of the options, then they can either have some fruit or have nothing but they won't be allowed a snack unless they've eaten something.

However, when we were weaning we had a tray with 6 sections; 1 with a cut up sandwich, 1 with some fruit slices, 1 with 1 or 2 veg slices, a small amount of rice snacks, rice/beans, and some form of egg. And then let them have at it while I busied myself so I wouldn't hover or stress over it. They'd make a mess but 8/10 at least 4 things were tried/eaten.

The eat like the french book is good. My partner is french and there is a big emphasis on quality food and quality cooking there and also the community of eating. In general good food understanding and discipline is something you can engendered in your children if you adopt it yourself.

Balancing foods, balancing splurging and restraint. Cooking fresh, eating together at the table. The honesty of liking what you like and not liking what you don't.

I've seen my partners nieces sit through the first half of a meal chatting but not eating as the adults ate sea fish, because they don't like seafish. But the meal isn't just about meeting you dietary requirements so it works.

Anyway... Hope this is helping the OP!

I was a childminder for 6 years. I am also a mum of two children, 10 and 12, who are both good eaters. Here is what I think -
Do not buy anything you don't want them to eat i.e. don't buy biscuits and then get cross that they want to eat them.
19 months is EXACTLY the age that children start getting fussy. It is as much about control, (for you and for your child,) as it is about likes and dislikes. The more you stress, the worse it will get. Do not get in to a war with your child if you can help it.
You can not make children eat if they don't want to.
If you want to, when they get to about 2 and a half/3, start to set some rules eg no dinner, no pudding.
Before then, put a bit of food on their plate, if they eat it, give them some more, if they don't eat it, DO NOT GET CROSS, just give them some fruit, if they don't eat that, they get down. Kids learn very quickly.
We've all been there. Good luck. xx

ppeat my DSister is vegan and always has been. She has chronic asthma but thankfully manages not hold down a good job.

She's one of those weird vegans who doesn't eat eggs or fish though, unlike your vegan so maybe that's why she inherited asthma...

Jilted - Vegans don't eat fish or eggs anyway. Vegans don't eat anything that's a biprodoct of an animal. And most Vegetarians don't eat fish, either. I don't. And I only eat unfertilzed organic eggs :)

multi I'd have a read of ppeat's posts. She's the one who doesn't seem to understand, not me

Well I don't feel like I'm "controlling" dd I'm not forcing her to eat her meals but I'm also not rewarding her by giving her yogurt, fruit etc if she hasn't made any attempt to try her dinner.
Children can be fussy buggers, one day dislike something that has previously been a favorite meal. Well sorry, I've cooked it now so you have to eat some of it.
Meal times are a pleasure in my house and always have been apart from a couple of times at about 18 months when she started pushing for a little control, I was just sharing with the op how I delt with it but everyone is different as is every kid.
It's great to give options to give them a little control over what they eat but I offer different fruits or a choice of yogurt flavour etc, some thing ive cooked is non negotiable. Though some times ask which of two meals she fancies before I make it.

I was brought up this way, have never had an eating disorder or been over weight. (other than when pregnant)

Jilted I do understand; our GD has eggs and fish sometimes but usually has no dairy it's down to her mum not me. I follow my Blood Type and that is also confusing for people who don't know what it's about.

IME It is unusual for a vegan to have asthma though because dh always used to get asthma symptoms, and the gerd he has when he eats dairy.