Sensitive - what do you call your ds' girlie bits?

[beegee]

This is a tough one - I've a 3 yo ds and i've confidently called his private 'bits' his willie..he's happy with this and always uses the name when needed. No probs there. With girls its harder...i've got a 6 mo ds and, although it's early days, i feel i'm already searching for an equivalent for my daughters girlie 'bits' but struggling i'm afraid!

I'm not a prude. I don't find it difficult to talk about these issues. I just want to avoid the name my mum called mine - wee wee - eeeck! Now I call mine 'my vagina' but this doesn't seem right for a little girl and it always makes me feel a bit...errr...cringey IYKWIM.

When my ds and dd share a bath or when i'm changing my dss nappy, my ds is satisfied that she just 'hasn't got a willie'. But it's started to make me think - what does one name it?!!

I apologise if this offends anyone...not intended. I would love others opinions/experiences.

i call a vagina on my dd's their 'flower'

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cos it aint their bottom

barf all ye like, i dont care

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its not the bottom

"wipe your bottom" to a girl means wipe the back

"wipe your flower" means after a wee

(yep i do say that LOL)

COD, are you really a man? thats the sort of thing a man would say. or is it just cos youve boys

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I don't know why they would, but obviously they do, otherwise ds wouldn't have come home announcing that other people use different words than we do for privates. But I think so far it's only boys who have been discussing this, as ds's question to me was what other people call girl's bits.

bottom or bum

"Wipe your bottom now dd"
or
"Mummy my bottom hurts"
"At the front or at the back?"
"

we call them her 'bits'.

Genitals?

flower

a friend of a friend told/allows her dd who is 4 to call it her monkey! I just don't get it

Calling it a bottom is denying it a proper name of its own

also it is so totally incorrect

do you call your breasts your back because it is near enough? "Well they are my back, just a back at the front of me"

Bizarre.

It needs a proper name - the proper name is vulva. Your children need to know the proper name for parts of their body for various, obvious reasons. Not everyone will understand what your dd means by her tinky winky. Everyone will know what she means by her vulva.

When our dog was on heat a few years ago, she rolled over for a tummy tickle and I remember thinking that her whole genital area did actually look like a flower - it was plumped up and red, ready to attract a mate I suppose. So I can see how one might relate female gentials to a flower. To me, it's quite sexual in a poetic way though. (Thinking metaphysical poets and victorian too)

Having said that, i spent ages calling dd1 and dd2's "Girly bits" but with dd3 I seem to have gone all mimsy and hers has become known as her "diddle". I know vulva is correct and I can feel comfortable with it coming out of the mouth of my elder two (now 11 and 7) but vulva is not a word you hear very often and I can just feel the discomfort of elderly ladies' glances, as dd3 says something like "My vulva itches" (for eg) while in the queue at the village shop. Somehow, words to do with female genetalia just aren't part of our every-day national lexicon in the way that balls and willy are.

franny its amazing how many people don't know the term vulva, mine was always flower until i was about 10 when my mum explained all the bits and pieces and the name vagina, i never knew the word vulva until biology

Same as PrettyCandles - call it the same as we do for a boys, which is winkle (and bottom for her bum). At my daughter's age (2.9) she doesn't need to know anything more specific, and when she asks more questions, I'll give her more informative answers.

they all look cringeworthy when written down though, don't they!

thanks everyone. bodkin - i know what you mean - cringeworthy.
yep franny - that sounds like a logical, persuasive argument to me...just the term vulva reminds me of vulga. i'm sure it originated from that word and if that is so, it offends me enough not to feel like i want to use it. maybe i shouldn't woory about this and just get over it.
i do think emmylou has a good point. it's crazy that we don't have a relaxed common useage for female genetalia in everyday life. many people would raise their eyebrows if they heard a toddler say 'vulva' - sad but probably true.

isn't the vulva something inside your vagina?

I stand corrected, just googled it, I never knew that I thought it was one of the names for a prt of the vagina

sorry thick person will now walk away

I really dont think it matters what you call it......... within reason, but its not fair to criticise what names other have chosen. Just as long as its a name you and your child feel comfortable using. Its pointless using vagina if you absolutely cringe saying the word and if you would die of embarrassment if in the middle of town your DD announced she had an itchy vagina, at least if you gave it a different name the whole of the street wouldnt also know.

Beegee i hope you meant DD's girlie bits BTW

I think it does matter, partly because of the messages we are giving our children about the different parts of their body if we insist on using a cutesy or inaccurate name, but mostly because if our children can't be understood by another adult then you are into very risky territory. An MNer related on another thread like this, a case where a child repeatedly told her teachers that her uncle kept touching her flower. Nobody picked up on what the hell she was on about.

Going to realte for my issues with sex (another subject) When I asked therapist how to act about sex and genitalia to dd who is only 8 months, he recommended you call it penis and Vulva- which are the anatomical names. Comfortable about penis but not about vulva cos you never hear adults call it that either, but will cross that bridge when it comes to it
P.S I call mine Fenella Foofan Hoola !!!

I say front bottom, but I feel I'm being a coward