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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

F&Z's top parenting tip for the week

120 replies

FrannyandZooey · 16/09/2006 11:40

This has worked wonders for me to get my 3 y o to remember how to do certain things. I have made a list and stuck it up on the wall in the toilet (has just started using toilet independently but forgets all the things he is meant to do). He can't read so I have drawn pictures next to the different items which are:

wipe yourself (drawing of toilet roll)
pull up your pants and trousers
put the seat down
wash your hands
shut the door (nb yes I am a bit anal about this but otherwise it is left wide open and blocks out all the light into the hall)

This has been very effective for us this week and he is proud that he can 'read' the list and remember what to do. I think it could work well for other jobs such as room tidying, getting ready to go out etc (put on your shoes, go to the loo, get your coat and so on). Am now wondering if it would work for dps....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jimjams2 · 17/09/2006 21:07

ds1 wouldn;t go to the toilet in mainstream (smelly, dark and noisy hand dryer), he would hold on all day then charge to the loo at home. He wasn't allowed to use the staff/disabled toilet () When I took him to visit his special school (nice airy toilet area, one set per class, clean, with a washing machine in the adjoining room) he decided to go for a wee. I knew then we were in the right place for him.

moondog · 17/09/2006 23:06

Rusty,I adore Widgit.
Put everyone I know into an armlock and insist they buy it.

I wrote a step by step guide to using it (for technophobes worried by the manual.)
It is pretty amateur (handwritten but does the trick and has set many worried parents on the road to being confident resource makers.)
A couple of years old,but am sure still applicable.

Have been off for a couple of years so maybe was an upgrade.

Anyway,if oyu or anyone else want one,I'll dig it out.

Jimjams2 · 18/09/2006 08:37

The worst thing about widget is no mac version grrr grrrr grrrr grrrr.

Eulalia · 18/09/2006 14:08

Ahh toilets! ds now needs someone to go to the toilet with him at all times. He will hold on at school till he gets home. Sometimes he is bursting. He'll take anyone in with him - dd or even ds2 (who is only 13 months). One day he had ds2 with him who was standing next to the toilet and peed all over the toilet seat and poor baby!! The main fear was because he set the disabled alarm off at hte doctors toilet. Had a laugh about this with the advisory worker - autistic children having difficulty generalising but of course ds has generalised on this instance to all toilets being scarey. Tried talking to him but he's still not happy but he doesn't like being left anywhere on his own at the moment.

ds's ordinary teacher is back and I am seeing her and the head this week. Yes they do things differently here and he currently has a Co-ordinated Support Plan but not sure if its actually doing much yet! We need a Plan B if is teacher is away and his work place needs to be more ordered - at the moment he just sits at a table sometimes in a group with the other kids. He may be better with a more defined place. A lot of the problems stem from lack of space in the school. Can't really do outreach work - it has to be one or the other.

His classroom teacher is great though as she went on the Earlybird Plus course with me but there is a general lack of understanding/training in the supply teachers.

Did anyone see this by the way .... Schools 'fail autistic children' I guess its a similar picture for Scotland.

Eulalia · 18/09/2006 14:12

Actually now that ds is so much more verbal its giving me a good insight into what he doesn't understand (no answers though!). Eg every night I try to get him to go to the toilet one last time before bed. Every night I ask him if he needs and he says no usually and I say "are you sure?" and one night he said "what does 'sure' mean?" Had a hard time trying to explain that. One example where a visual instruction would work as it would save all this talking. Seems a bit odd when I should be encouraging him to talk though.

Jimjams2 · 18/09/2006 22:41

It's not the same though. Talking is gone in an instant and may not have been processed. A visual instruction is there, permanent and can be processed. You need to help him to understand- his inner language may or may not be speech, he needs to use speech in the outside world, but that may not be how he internally understands the world. Props, such as visual timetables/social stories etc help to fill that gap.

If you want someone to talk through all this stuff with I'd really recommend donna williams All I seem to say to her at the moment is "thank you thank you" because she soooooo good! Her fee works out at aroound 24 quid an hour. She's really helping me understand the world according to ds1, and how my behaviour affects his world, also lots of very practical advice of how to deal wiith problems. Ds1 is far calmer since we started with hr consultancy, maybe because I've changed the way I deal with him and the way I think about dealing with him. I've just had a look and I'm now quoted on her website.

COD · 18/09/2006 22:54

Message withdrawn

Jimjams2 · 18/09/2006 22:57

verbally or pictorally? If I have no pics or pecs near me I talk to ds1 in verbal timetables 'FIRST x THEN y" repeated 50 millions times. If OI forget to tell him/show him I am in seriuous trouble

ds3 (20 months) has started exchanging pecs ("hmmm I think I'll give someone a picture of some chocolate buttons and see what happens") He makes me laaarf.

COD · 18/09/2006 22:58

Message withdrawn

Jimjams2 · 18/09/2006 23:01

I am too lazy though, but probably good for some kids. Mind you ds3 is a nutter, he could do with some pictoral instructions.

Eulalia · 19/09/2006 07:42

And I am too tired to talk half the time too so yes it would help.

COD · 19/09/2006 08:32

Message withdrawn

Jimjams2 · 19/09/2006 08:53

They are aren't they cod? All the ds3's I know are mentalists.

Bozza · 19/09/2006 09:06

Eulalia I think "sure" is a word that is quite difficult to understand. DS who is 5 and NT generally gives the wrong response. He also mixes up "that's why" and "that's because".

Eulalia · 19/09/2006 09:54

thanks jimjams for the Donna Williams site - had a quick look and will look morelater (my mouse is acting up just now and the computer keeps freezing).

Yes 'sure' is a difficult word - I just assumed he understood me because he would often reply.

so next step to all this visual stuff is to get a laminator!

Jimjams2 · 19/09/2006 10:26

Lots of cheap ones around at the moment Eulalia- you can get them for under 15 quid.

Bozza · 19/09/2006 10:28

DS replies - but usually gives the wrong answer!

Do you want a wee DS?
No
Are you sure?
No

That sort of thing.

COD · 19/09/2006 10:28

Message withdrawn

Jimjams2 · 19/09/2006 10:59

oh I'll change my settings (made myself uncatable during a strop, but its getting to be a pain).

Jimjams2 · 19/09/2006 11:01

Done. I await with baited breath.

Make sure you sign off with some xxxxx

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