I need an honest opinion am I babying my 6 year old?

[Piratejones]

He has “additional needs” so it’s getting hard to know where the line between independence and safety should be. The first things to get out of the way are that he has a dummy, and since he broke his foot back in February buggy use has slowly increased (not all the time, maybe once or twice a month in places I know he has meltdowns, he cried his eyes out when I mentioned getting rid of it).

He can change his own incontinence pads, but at times when he regresses with pooing he is still changed by an adult.

He is allowed out the front to play with other kids, it’s one quiet road and a big grassy area.

At home I try to keep him down stairs, he is allowed up stairs and in his room but I do try and keep him in the living room and kitchen, mostly so my 13 year old has some place to herself (he’s not overly good with understanding privacy).

chores:

Setting the table
Feeding the pets
Tiding up his own toys
polishing stuff
Washing up a few things
makes cereal (messy, but we are getting there!)

Does this sound fair to people or do you think i should be trying to teach more skills to help him?

It totally depends on your child and his needs.

I could write here that I feed my DD at nearly 8 and put a backpack on her with a wrist strap and some would say I baby her but realistically she needs that.

If you let him do as much as he can actually do then you are not babying him IMO.

I knew my ds was colour blind from about 3 - people would comment on mistakes he would make about running to the wrong cone etc. as he got older I noticed he would take ages to pick the crayon and would invariably use the wrong shade. He was 6 before the optician said the test would be reliable.

I don't think you baby him. My ds doesn't tie how own laces, can't do his own tie and still prefers me to wash him. We are working on hear over the holiday. He will make breakfast for himself and his sister.

I think the buggy an the dummy are the two that would make me think you baby him but as he has additional needs only you can judge if they are necessary or not. I feel for the poor boy with a broken foot. I would want to go in a buggy too!

My kids no way could have done laces at 6 but tbh they didn't have any until 10 with dd and 9 with ds2. Can't remember with ds1. DD can do them, ds2 not yet.

My DS is 6, no addition needs, and sounds exactly like your DS in what he can and can't do.

Though my DS has no hope of telling the time in any way and laces are evil instruments of torture so we stick to Velcro.

What is he like with a knife and fork?

Good with a fork and spoon, rarely uses a knife.

Thanks again everyone, It's nice once in a while to see how he's doing. He doesn't have any friends i can invite over so it's hard to know where he is amongst his peers.

DS is 9 (10 in 2 weeks) and really struggles with socks. He got some of my old ones by accident and found them easier (next size up) so now I just buy a bigger size.

We are goign to get some bigger socks today, so thanks to those who suggested that.

Has it helped?

jason The socks? we only picked them up earlier today so we haven't tried.

UPDATE: The bigger socks have been a brilliant, thanks to allt hose who recommended them.
We have also ditched the Buggy.

Was it a special needs buggy, if so there is a swap thread on the SN forum, someone might need one.

Oooo, bigger socks - must buy some. DD is hypermobile and really struggles with buttons, socks and other fiddly things on clothes (not yet got to laces as she is only 4) so thats a great idea.

I think your sons abilities for a 6 year old sound good, as comparing to my best mates 6 year old (NT).

Jason The Buggy wasn't a SEN one and it's long gone now.

strawberry Larger socks and sewing a loop of ribbon onto the waistband of trousers / pants gives them something to pull them up by.

Ah, okay, I thought I'd check as it could be useful.