I need an honest opinion am I babying my 6 year old?

[Piratejones]

He has “additional needs” so it’s getting hard to know where the line between independence and safety should be. The first things to get out of the way are that he has a dummy, and since he broke his foot back in February buggy use has slowly increased (not all the time, maybe once or twice a month in places I know he has meltdowns, he cried his eyes out when I mentioned getting rid of it).

He can change his own incontinence pads, but at times when he regresses with pooing he is still changed by an adult.

He is allowed out the front to play with other kids, it’s one quiet road and a big grassy area.

At home I try to keep him down stairs, he is allowed up stairs and in his room but I do try and keep him in the living room and kitchen, mostly so my 13 year old has some place to herself (he’s not overly good with understanding privacy).

chores:

Setting the table
Feeding the pets
Tiding up his own toys
polishing stuff
Washing up a few things
makes cereal (messy, but we are getting there!)

Does this sound fair to people or do you think i should be trying to teach more skills to help him?

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

Ah, okay, I thought I'd check as it could be useful.

[Piratejones]

Jason The Buggy wasn't a SEN one and it's long gone now.

strawberry Larger socks and sewing a loop of ribbon onto the waistband of trousers / pants gives them something to pull them up by.

[strawberryshoes]

Oooo, bigger socks - must buy some. DD is hypermobile and really struggles with buttons, socks and other fiddly things on clothes (not yet got to laces as she is only 4) so thats a great idea.

I think your sons abilities for a 6 year old sound good, as comparing to my best mates 6 year old (NT).

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

Was it a special needs buggy, if so there is a swap thread on the SN forum, someone might need one.

[Piratejones]

UPDATE: The bigger socks have been a brilliant, thanks to allt hose who recommended them.
We have also ditched the Buggy.

[Piratejones]

jason The socks? we only picked them up earlier today so we haven't tried.

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

Has it helped?

[Piratejones]

We are goign to get some bigger socks today, so thanks to those who suggested that.

[AuditAngel]

DS is 9 (10 in 2 weeks) and really struggles with socks. He got some of my old ones by accident and found them easier (next size up) so now I just buy a bigger size.

[Piratejones]

Thanks again everyone, It's nice once in a while to see how he's doing. He doesn't have any friends i can invite over so it's hard to know where he is amongst his peers.

[Piratejones]

What is he like with a knife and fork?

Good with a fork and spoon, rarely uses a knife.

[0dd]

My DS is 6, no addition needs, and sounds exactly like your DS in what he can and can't do.

Though my DS has no hope of telling the time in any way and laces are evil instruments of torture so we stick to Velcro.

[Itsfab]

My kids no way could have done laces at 6 but tbh they didn't have any until 10 with dd and 9 with ds2. Can't remember with ds1. DD can do them, ds2 not yet.

[BuildYourOwnSnowman]

I knew my ds was colour blind from about 3 - people would comment on mistakes he would make about running to the wrong cone etc. as he got older I noticed he would take ages to pick the crayon and would invariably use the wrong shade. He was 6 before the optician said the test would be reliable.

I don't think you baby him. My ds doesn't tie how own laces, can't do his own tie and still prefers me to wash him. We are working on hear over the holiday. He will make breakfast for himself and his sister.

I think the buggy an the dummy are the two that would make me think you baby him but as he has additional needs only you can judge if they are necessary or not. I feel for the poor boy with a broken foot. I would want to go in a buggy too!

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

It totally depends on your child and his needs.

I could write here that I feed my DD at nearly 8 and put a backpack on her with a wrist strap and some would say I baby her but realistically she needs that.

If you let him do as much as he can actually do then you are not babying him IMO.

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

What is he like with a knife and fork?

[Piratejones]

Yeah he's using it as a safe place.
The thing is I know he can do without it, he did for almost a year, but he broke his foot in February and I used it for Alton Towers, and only Alton Towers, but due in part to my own laziness it increased to other places.

[Thumbwitch]

So it's a bit like a security blanket for him then, a safe haven?

[Piratejones]

Just to clarify don't use the buggy all the time, it’s most now only for crowded places which might overwhelm him.

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

Likewise my totally unabashed 16y DD. It would never cross her mind to knock on a door.

She also can't read an analogue clock reliably. (She's dyslexic). Digital clocks and complex train time tables are fine, but remembering that pesty to/from business not a hope.

[Thumbwitch]

Ah yes, I sort of missed the bit about the buggy because of the association with the broken foot.

My friend's Ds with dyspraxia was using the pushchair regularly to get home from school last year; he turned 6 in Feb this year so a year ahead of your DS though. He still gets tired walking home from school (his mum doesn't drive so they rarely have a choice) but can make it without the pushchair now (but then he didn't break his foot, which would have put your DS back, and may have affected his confidence in his walking).

I'm not trying to diagnose your DS with dyspraxia, by the way! Just offering it up as a possible additional reason/thing to look at.

[DeWee]

Oh, and the privacy. I also have a 13yo dd. Ds has no concept of not bursting in on her (or anyone else), because it doesn't bother him.
He burst in on her dressing the other day, and when she objected said "well, I'm wearing nothing" .
Which luckily made her laugh, but she's not always that tolerant.

We have spoken to him about it, but it hasn't sunk in because he just thinks "I want to tell her" so goes to tell her. Hence a grumpy teen after being woken at 6:30 to tell her it rained last night.

[DeWee]

I think he sounds fine.
Ds has just turned 7yo, is emotionally immature, but otherwise ordinary.

I brush his teeth, and I would choose to do that, as he would just dash through it.
I help with washing hair.
He can dress himself-and will do most of the time now. However even a couple of months ago he would only dress himself with a huge bribe such as "if you're dressed we can go XXX". He would happily go out in his pj to save the hassle of dressing. Choosing his own clothes would almost always be the first thing that comes to hand, he really isn't bothered as long as it's comfortable.

He does play out with friends, but it's only round the corner, he takes my old mobile so I can contact him. He's loud enough I can generally hear him

The only thing you mention which does sound young is the dummy (but if it's night only, I have known 6yos that have them for that) and the buggy.
I wonder whether, as he got upset over the buggy, whether just not taking it every time and gradually reducing would be better. Talking about getting rid of it may upset him because it's so final.
It can also be the "it's mine". When I was pg with ds (dc3) dd2, who hated the buggy, never went in the buggy without a major strop etc. suddenly turned round and said "that baby is not going in my buggy".
Completely threw me, out of the blue it was-but when it came to it she made no fuss, but just showing how she viewed it as "hers".

Ds used to like being carried. He's got glue ear, and he liked to be up near my mouth so he could hear. I carried him when he wanted until about a year ago. About a year ago, I started saying he was a bit heavy, and not carrying him quite as far. And from that I gradually cut back on carrying him, not picking him up straight away, sometimes saying I couldn't because I was carrying other things. He now doesn't ask at all, although on the odd occasion I do pick him up, he still likes it. I wonder if a similar approach to the buggy would work with your ds. Mayeb the buggy might need mending for a week?

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

I mentioned after school clubs because an old friend of my DS had learning difficulties and as mentioned dyspraxia. He went to some clubs such as music (playing drums) and horse riding, then martial arts.

The idea being to help him improve his dexterity, coordination and balance.

It also might give your DD a bit of quiet time in the house.

Yes the disclosing tablets show plaque stains which you brush until clear. I suggested electric as you can get brushes that flash with a light if you clean too hard. If he finds flossing a problem then a waterpik is an alternative.

[Meglet]

That all sounds fine. Especially being able to play out.

I still brush my dc's (7 & 5) teeth most of the time, teeth are expensive if they go manky. At weekends they have floss, disclosing tablets and can do their own teeth.