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Original poster

BEDTIME PLEASE HELP!!!!

51 replies

tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:17

PLEASE HELP! my 4 yr old has always gone to bed with the nightlight on and a story read to her since 18months. In the last 8 days she has been throwing the most almighty tantrums. I've been returning her to bed without making eye contact or talking to her- as advised by many tv programs. This led to her biting , kicking , punching and trying to strangle me.as soon as i walk away from her bedside she's back up. In the day she is an angel at night, a devil. I have tried asking her what is wrong and why she behaves sooooo badly at night. she screams "don't leave me, don't go out."
I have NEVER left her in the house alone and explained to her that i never would. I really am at my wits end. nothing works. please help

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buktus · 11/09/2006 21:22

has she just started school or has anything recently happened to family life, babies or moving home, what does she have to eat or drink before bed

gigwig · 11/09/2006 21:24

Perhaps she is starting to get frightened of things in the dark, monsters and so on. I have read that around this age they can start to get frightened of dreams etc being more aware and imaginative. She may have had some bad nightmares/bad dreams and cant really remember them enough to tell you but just knows she wants you.

Dont know what to suggest really sorry, perhaps some really happy type of stories. and/or gentle music when she is getting to sleep. Perhaps you could also stay longer with her when you say goodnight so she feels more comfortable.

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:25

just started school. spent the last year doing mornings at nursery and crying every morning. was expecting this for school but she has been really good and doesn't cry when i leave her. i know it is prob cos of that but it's taking three hours of screaming to get to bed and i really can't cope. she has a normal tea and a drink of fruit juice with tea.

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Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:28

she has a story, her night light and hall light on low with door open. i ask if she wants a story tape or music on but she always refuses. she even threw the tape player out of her room last week

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buktus · 11/09/2006 21:29

what about visiting the library letting her choose 'bedtime books' on the understanding that mummy will only read the books in bed if your good or what about a good beahviour chart when she goes to bed like a good girl then in the morning she can have a sticker on the chart and after a week a magazine or small treat cant really think of anything else sorry

coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:29

oover tired

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:33

i must seem like i have an answer for every suggestion but we have the reward chart. we went to a book shop last week and she begged for a book. i told her if she was good for 3 out of 7 nights we would go on a special shopping trip to get the book. she was brill on friday night so i made a big fuss of her in the morn and we filled in her chart. we made cakes on saturday ( her favourite is cooking) and had a lovely day until night time.back to square 1 . i really appreciate all of your advice and ideas !!! thankyou

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Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:33

she is now on the stairs bedtime was 7pm

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coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:34

so you mean it didnt work?

buktus · 11/09/2006 21:34

you might just have to grin and bear it until she has been at school for a bit longer

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:35

nothing i have tried worked. the 7 nights ended tonight. one of them she went to bed the other 6 were hell

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coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:35

ok
take her to bed
pretend to go to sleep next to her
tell her shei sa naughty girl

remind her of it tomorrow

threaten to tlel her teacher
gte her to bed at 6pm tomorrow

coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:36

ok and also dont chat with ehr when she pisses about
repeat yourself endlessly##"time fo bed be quiet"

gigwig · 11/09/2006 21:37

Could you keep her up tomorrow evening just so you break her not going to sleep and give you a break from it aswell seeing as you've tried loads of things.

Perhaps watching a dvd, reading but keep her downstairs till she falls asleep there. Just for a few days till she gets so tired she goes to sleep earlier.

MarsLady · 11/09/2006 21:37

beg, borrow or steal this book. Bloody brilliant!

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:38

thanks gigwig its worth a try!! i'll let you know how it goes

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coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:39

god NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont let her fall asleep ont he sofa

thast a htie ide
she will never g o to bed again
do not do it

coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:40

you need ot be hard
tell ehr she gets a story if she si in bed
start bathtiome ealirer
lie with ehr after ht story til l she goes to sleep
do not talk or interract

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:41

its so nice to hear from others. my family disagree with most things i try. luckily my hubby keeps me sane. i appreciate it thanks xxx

OP posts:
coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:41

DO NOT REWARD HER WITH THE DVD SESSION

Original poster
tillytup · 11/09/2006 21:42

too creul to get her adopted lol will someone adopt me instead. i'm well trained and go to bed when told

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MarsLady · 11/09/2006 21:43

I completely agree with coderoo......

In fact, I have a copy of said book that I'll happily lend you as I'm not using it just now (though I will need it back for my work)

Email me your address to lovelymarslady at aol dot com

coderoo · 11/09/2006 21:44

stop her marsy

all you need to do is to stick to your guns
and take her to bed earlier

TheVoiceOfReasonQV · 11/09/2006 21:46

Agree with coderooney

gigwig · 11/09/2006 21:50

good luck anyway - with whatever you try!....
I guess it may well backfire if you are soft on her as the others have suggested.