Was I unreasonable to let DS poo in the garden?

[Bluetroublethree]

He's 5. He's had a lot of trouble with chronic constipation, overflow etc and withholding. He gets into a particular position when he's trying to keep it on and I saw him do it. He's been on movicol off and on and after a few days and a weekend of no poo he had 6 movicol.

Anyway tonight I tried very hard to make him go to the toilet and have a try but he wouldn't, so I said he could go in the garden. If we go walking he LOVES doing a poo in a bush (?) so I thought it was worth a try. Luckily we live in a remote house with woodland at the back so I reckoned it wasn't much different to fox poo.
And good enough, everything cleared!!!
DH says I was wrong to let him do it, but I think the ends justify the means!
AIBU?

Mmmm, your garden your choice I guess. You are going to clear it up though rather than letting it fester?? Think of the flies!

I've flicked it into some scrubland. A bit of rain and it'll be gone! I was just desperate for him to go. He went for 10 days without going and ended up in hospital earlier this year.

Not appropriate. Neither is letting him poo in a bush on walks. What exactly are you teaching him?

Not ideal but I understand where you are coming from.

It really is awfully worrying when they don't go.

When dd was at her worst it took literally hours of screaming before she could poo, and that was once a week at best.

Thanks to some serious laxatives and other changes we are now on regular once every 2/3 days. Much better.

You need to take poo bags out with you when walking. I bet you'd complain if someone left dog shit on a path. Its no different.

If you're so convinced it'll be gone with a bit of rain you could have left it in your garden.

Why is he on Movicol "off and on" if he is constipated, and not taking it daily?

It's still in my garden - in a scrubland bit.

The poo-on-a-walk thing has only happened twice in reality but it made an impression! And yes you're right re bagging it up.

It just seemed like a better way to get things moved without a screaming match and DS v upset. For some reason he's happier to do it outdoors.

Rhino - I thought we had it sorted but it's reared its head again.

Agree its not ideal to let him go in the garden, but that's probably a side issue.

Why does he need Movicol to be able to go? Is it a psychological issue, or does he have an underlying health problem?

I ask because I have come across children with this problem who turned out to have allergies to certain foods ( lactose intolerant, I think) and once this had been addressed the poo problems cleared up. It's also worth checking that he drinks plenty of water and has lots of fibre, if you haven't already done this. What does the doctor say?

One of my sons used to hold it in - it became apparent he was frightened of letting it go into the toilet - I can see how letting it fall onto the ground might be less scary. With a lot of patience we solved this by letting him have a nappy on just when he needed to go so that there was no "drop".

Meanwhile, if he'll only go in the garden then so be it!

I don't fully understand it. He got constipated before Christmas and then I think he went and it hurt him so he got very adept at holding it in. He was having some issues with his teacher and a couple of times he totally lost control in school and his teacher made a huge fuss in front of the other kids about it. And also saw fit to chat to me about it in front of him and a load of other parents. She has since left but now he will only go for a wee in school, not a poo.

Things got very bad just after Chtistmas and he went for 20 days without going. He was sweating, crying, pacing the floor, it was terrible. The hospital said to give him huge doses of movicol or they'd have to admit him for impaction and finally, after a load of glycerin suppositories it all shot out. He's seemed ok since then. Then we moved house a month ago and he seems to be getting overflow and streaks and then I saw him in his "holding" stance.
I thought well we can't go back to where we were, just get it out, and he did!

How to proceed though is another thing.

I think this was unwise. You already have a problem with a child who struggles to poo. Now you have a child who struggles to poo and will want to do so in an inappropriate place. You've lost perspective here. You need to go back to the GP and get some more support and you need to follow up absolutely with this. Solving this kind of an issue is a long term project.

Not 20 days, 10 days. Sorry, fat fingers.

You're right. I'm lost. I just couldn't bear the thought if him being so unwell again.

What should we be doing? He has a star chart that works well, access to water all the time, he's v keen in eating fruit and veg, a good eater and a balanced diet, yet he gets like this.

I understand how grim it is to have a chronically constipated, withholding child (I have one and I was one, great genes here!) but... you know letting him poo outdoors isn't the answer. It solved the immediate problem, but you can't let him do it again!

Also, considering he was so badly constipated after Christmas he was nearly hospitalised, I'm amazed he hasn't been on a maintenance dose of Movicol ever since. Honestly, you'll need to keep that up for months if not years.

I need to go back to the doc then. There was never any suggestion of follow up. I just thought he was sorted once the constipation had cleared, so I was surprised when it started to happen again.

What should we be doing? He has a star chart that works well, access to water all the time, he's v keen in eating fruit and veg, a good eater and a balanced diet, yet he gets like this.

Some people just have horrifically sluggish bowels: no underlying problem, just one of those things. No star charts or balanced diet can help. It sucks.

Does your son see a gastroenterologist? My DD gets reviewed a few times per year, just to see how she's doing. Although I'm a Movicol expert these days, it helps to talk it over with a consultant.

I understand about poo issues. DD1 got so constipated last month that she ran a fever of 39.7c and couldn't go to her (SN) school annual trip to Paulton's Park, which she'd been counting the sleeps for since she'd heard about it. Allowing your child to poo outdoors is not appropriate at any age school age. It really isn't.

The whole aim with poo withholding issues is to normalise the function of toileting so that it isn't stressful. Pooing outside is not normal!

How would you cope if your DS decided that alfresco was his only mode of defecation? How awful would that be?

I know loads of children with poo issues. Not once have I heard 'let him do it outside'as a strategy.

No, he's only went seen a GP. And our hospital contact was via paeds a&e. I rang the school nurse in desperation and she took 2 weeks to call me back as there's only her covering a huge area, and then she said there was nothing she could do.

So, I make apt at GP. Then what? Is more movicol the way to go? He just doesn't like changing toilets!!!

Does he have enough fibre? Is he drinking through the day rather than huge sessions without fluids, then a massive cup to counterbalance it?

He has a whole wheat based breakfast, often with a banana, a fruit snack and a milk at school and a hot school dinner. Then in the evening we have a lot if protein and pasta and he can help himself to drinks too. I honestly don't think his diet is causing the issue.

I was thinking if adding flax seed too.

Movicol is absolutely the way to go. But you'll need to see a gastro too. GPS only know so much and can sometimes be quite misinformed about treatments (saying it's not safe to be on Movicol long term, trying to wean children off meds far too soon...)

So, go to your GP, get yourself a repeat prescription for Movicol - and lots of it - and request a gastro referral.

Do you think they'll refer him though? He's only had the one very bad episode?

We have private cover with a £250 excess - should we just invoke that instead? Does he really need to see a cons?