SLEEP-moving from cot to bed

[susani]

I moved my 21 mth old into a bed 2 weeks ago. he was previously a good sleeper. Now i cant get him to settle without a huge battle. It takes about an hour of him screaming & me picking him up & putting him back in before he gives in. & if he wakes at night it can take up to 3 hours. His current routine is - up at 6.30 nap at 12.30 till 2.30 then bed at 8.00 (but getting later & later). I dont feel that he's getting enough sleep now. Before he was having about 14 hours now hes down to about 11. Has anyone got any ideas ?

put him back into the cot for a few more months? or is that not an option?

I'm in the same boat with my twins, ds & dd 2.10 but we gave in after 2 months cause we were so knackered, we are ready to try again now, and I think this time we can't back down, hopefully they've forgot the last time we tried (easter), we are going to try again in october when they are 3, or we have a weeks leave next week, to try again whilst we are on leave seems a better idea! I'm just dreading it though!

Supernanny approach on the way!

My 2.6 yr old has just gone into a bed, within the last 2 weeks. I was very nervous, as she was a fidgety sleeper in her cot. I wanted padding on the floor, bed guards etc, but hubby said that it wasn't necessary! Anyway, I thought she was going to be really difficult going to bed, but we bought her a duvet set from her favourite programme (Balamory!) and keep all her Balamory toys in the bed so she can join them. We also encourage her to choose her own bedding, and make a big fuss about bedtime, tht she is a big girl now etc.

It can be frustrating and knackering when they are up and down all the time, so we took the baby gate from my mums house, stuck it on her bedroom door so now when she thinks she can run around the house, she is sorely disappointed! There is only the (childproof) bedroom to move about in, but with the light off (she can't reach the switch yet) she cant see, so gives up and returns to bed without too much of a fuss.

Good luck though!

When we moved to Oz DD had a cot & a single bed in her room (staying at PIL and no-where ele for the bed to go) on the second night of being here she said she wanted to sleep in the big bed & we haven't looked back (she was 2.10)

She did the same with the potty too, a week after her 2nd birthday she just started using it and hasn't looked back.

It deff helped that she instigated it each time, she knows her mind and rarley looks back. Now am trying to convince her to give up her dummies (has for nap & at night) just gentle suggestions that they have to go soon, nowt heavy. I am convinced she will just do it in her own time and under her own steam.

As they are her choices she seems to be able her to deal with it better.

should have said, she is never in and out of bed at night, she just goes in & stays there till morning.

Sandcastles - well done, you lucky thing, but I wouldn't spoil it by taking her dummy off her.

Saying that, I read on another thread that someone told their dd santa needed the dummy for a new baby (not theirs) that didn't have one, and their dd actually helped wrap it up at xmas for santa to collect when he dropped off an extra special present for dd! Amazingly it worked!

I have yet to sort my twins 2.10 rooms out to make it nice for them, but I realise its got to be done, like yourself, my ds2 tossed about in the night, and likes to feel skin contact (husbands ear, hehe) so I think we are in for a rocky ride!

sleepysooz, I am hoping that dd will do the same type of thing, in her own time. As long as she thinks it's her idea then she'll do it quite happily. But your right, I would spoil it if I ust went ahead and did it.

Well its count down to sleeping in own beds for next week, we are dreding it, twins have never slept by themselves ever! (yes I know, its bad) I am preparing myself with ear muffs (screaming doesn't bother DH so much) I have extra-censury hearing (sorry spelling)

My belly is in knots, I must calm down.

We are making a massive thing out of this, trying to excite/encourage the twins that its so grown up. Took note of previous thread letting them choose own bedding/accesories. They seem to be taking to it, I know its the ds that will struggle as he has to have human skin contact in night (DH's EAR) yuk!!!! but I think I will have a stair gate at their bedroom door leaving potty in room, its impossible to put twins back in room at same time, running off in different directions!

Any hints gratefully received, I like the supernanny approach, but not seen her do it with twins, hence the stairgate having to go up!
plus the safety aspect of not falling downstairs, which is 3 feet in front of their door!

Incidently, we have both taken 1 weeks leave from work to sort this out - surely the worst of it will be over in first 10 nights! please, encouragement needed bably! HELP

susani - how's it going for you, any better?

Made a big deal of getting a "big girl bed" from choosing bedding together to snuggling toys inside it on first night (who were all fast asleep when her bedtime came so we had to be really quiet)! Cot also vanished (into the loft) so was not around as a tempting back up option. Stopped daytime sleeps at around the same time thus ensuring tiredness would eventually have to kick in. She took us by complete surprise and settled straight into it. Fell out once in first week and we dashed upstairs to find her fast asleep in the middle of the floor! Good luck. That said, we did also have challenging bedtimes at one point when it just became the time of day that my Dd would delight in winding me or my Dh up!! If it wasn't another song, story, scary noise etc etc she would think of another problem and create. Bedtimes became long and drawn out at that time. Fortunately, she loves her food so we'd start to talk about what we might have for breakfast/lunch/dinner the next day. We'd then have to "nip off" fairly quickly to ensure that we didn't "forget " what she'd asked for. This, amazingly worked and we didn't become slaves to her stomach, she'd forget all about it by morning. Odd, I know, but it worked.....

Lizzie4 - I love the toys going to sleep first theory so that you have to be quiet when dd went to bed, I'll use that one cheers.

If they are stalling, the questioning re: breakfast the next day sounds good too.

thanks for that lizzie4

We have just bought a big boys bed for ds (20 mths, outgrowing cot...gah!) and at the moment he is just taking his daytime naps in it. When he has got used to that, we will graduate to night time! Daytime naps are good as I leave a toy or book and drink on the little table next to his new bed for when he wakes up and when he's still a bit dozy he finds them and wakes up gradually lying on his bed playing and having a drink. Am trying to promote the idea that it's his special space and it's a nice place to be! Seems to be working so far but there is yet time for it all to go t*ts up! When we go upstairs and find the cat sleeping on the bed (arrgh mummy forgot to close the door again) we even say how she's waiting for him and has come to visit in his special bed. Overboard seems to be the key with this one for us! Good luck

sleepysooz, as you have dts will they be in together? We have dd2 on a matress on the floor and a stairgate on the door. She has no interest in toys and you just can't reason with her. We did gradual withdrawl with her and dd1. You start by putting them in bed and then sitting on the bed, ignoring until they fall asleep. The next night you sit at the end of the bed. Then you sit or stand next to the bed, then a few feet away, then by the door, then outside, then you leave. You just tweak this around according to how your children respond. If they get out of bed, put them back but stay nearby, ignoring them. Ditto if they sit up. I'd have a minimum of toys, just the ones that comfort them (this worked for dd1 but not dd2). I'd also get their room/s ready asap and spend some quiet time in there each day reading in preparation for the sleep teaching.

You might get a bit of crying but not much IME, because you are close. Dd1 didn't cry at all, dd2 just grumbled to sleep. It took a week max with each dd. We do still get the odd blip - I think I told you we are getting early wakings from dd2 atm - but by being consistent you do get things back on track eventually. Now at bedtime dd2 says, 'Goodnight, huff you!' and snuggles down and it is just a joy to see.

I've found sticker charts etc useless under the age of three. I only use them when a new skill is being learned anyway. But something that works with dd1 is a letter each morning from the bedtime fairy if she's been good. HTH

Nearlythree - thanks for that, your plan seems kinder than most I've heard of.

Tonight was the first night, dd I put back 4 times, she cried herself to sleep, after only 10 minutes at 10pm then ds after a further ten minutes started to cry, but it was a frightened sob cry from the belly, I weakened and stroked his brow to get him to sleep ten minutes later, so I think we did ok 35 minutes total.

Will try your method with ds tomorrow, twins both reacted so differently! but better than expected (although night is still young) dd accepted placing back in bed, I think she just cried to let us know she wasn't happy about the change, but ds it was upsetting to hear him cry like that, so it may work out harder having different procedures once they link up to what each other doing.

Maybe easier to get them to sleep staggered times, oh well, will cross that bridge, if and when it happens! but very happy with tonites results, so far!

yes they are in same room!

sounds good, sleepy, they sound just like they are ready to learn to sleep on their own. Well done you!

Its hell, just as I though it would be, 1st night wasn't too bad, last night was awful, ds won't sleep without his dad's ear. Its like making a toddler go in his new bed without his dummy/comfort blanket! so ds has 2 new things to get used to!

I have a stonking headache today, just exhausted, plus dh back in our bed and I have the added interuption of his snoring too as well as him having to go and console ds 6 times last night, and I find it hard to get back to sleep, so 2 nights with only 4 hours sleep, this is how it was when we tried it before, I managed 6 weeks then no more, I need my sleep!

Oh dear, I am very nervous now! My dd - 2.5 - is going to be going into a bed in a week, as we are moving and finally she will be getting a room of her own. She has always been good at going to bed and settling but am sure it will be harder in the bed... oh well, fingers crossed!

Littlesarah - hia!

I don't know if I'd be inclined to let dd sleep in her own cot when you first move, with a new house to cope with aswell, might comfort her to sleep in cot/or whatever she slept in before move, it might be all too much for her. She might need familiar surroundings!

I'd wait a couple of weeks, decorate her room and choose accesories together, a build up of excitement for her, that was a good tip to me, can't remember if it was on this thread! but it has helped my twins accept their new room.

Good luck!

littlesarah - read down the thread, it is this one, there are some really useful hints, although I don't think from anyone that has moved house at same time as changing beds!

hi sleepysooz

The only problem is it is a small rented and flat and her new room already has a bed, I don't know if I can fit the cot in, but I will have a look and see next week.

I am definitely interested in the stair gate idea and decorating the room together, I think a trip to Ikea is in order!

We did - and I stopped bf a month later! It was very difficult but dd2 has always been a bad sleeper. With a good sleeper, I'd say you should be okay.

Sleepysooz, sorry to hear it's gone downhill. Stick with it though - they say it often gets worse before it gtes better.

I know nearlythree, but its just that ds has to give up his daddy at night aswell as his other bed, he sobs his little heart out, a frightened sob, I just feel for him.

I didn't realise how much ds holds onto his daddys ear until I had him, dh says he doesn't feel it! but I do!