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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

SLEEP-moving from cot to bed

53 replies

susani · 21/08/2006 17:28

I moved my 21 mth old into a bed 2 weeks ago. he was previously a good sleeper. Now i cant get him to settle without a huge battle. It takes about an hour of him screaming & me picking him up & putting him back in before he gives in. & if he wakes at night it can take up to 3 hours. His current routine is - up at 6.30 nap at 12.30 till 2.30 then bed at 8.00 (but getting later & later). I dont feel that he's getting enough sleep now. Before he was having about 14 hours now hes down to about 11. Has anyone got any ideas ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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sleepysooz · 27/08/2006 18:17

Littlesarah - good luck with the girly shopping, its lovely, you could do it before you move. Just buy a rug, lamp, poster, duvet cover etc, things that are easy to put down or up when you arrive at your new house.

Someone else further down the thread also mentioned a soft toy, I found little beanie farm animals from asda for 28p yes! 28p so my dd has a little duck she has to look after at bedtime and ds has a lamb to look after and they have to be quiet for waking the animals up!!! hee hee hee

nearlythree · 27/08/2006 23:10

I know sleepy, it's horrible, my dd1 used to sob in exactly the same way, and dd2 screamed for a whole fortnight when I stopped bf. I can recommend Naturally Nurturing sleep clinic - they have a website you can google - and teh last I knew they had an offer where you could buy a CD of sleep tips and get a free half hour telephone consultation. Chireal, the lady who runs it, is against CC and also has twins of her own. Might be worth a look?

sleepysooz · 28/08/2006 13:18

Thanks for that nearlythree, have just spoken to her and have ordered cd, her twins are 2.6, she sounded lovely, very understanding.

Last night was awful, we were up 10 times, aaaaaaaah

nearlythree · 28/08/2006 21:20

She is lovely, and the fact she doesn't expect you to leave your precious little ones to cry is the best of all. Hope it helps, and that tonight is better!

sleepysooz · 29/08/2006 22:35

whats the cc stand for in bedtime training (constant cuddles)?

curlew · 29/08/2006 22:51

I hope I'm not going to sound priggish,or sanctimonious or any other horrible negative word, but why are people so keen to change arrangements that seem to work? If you're sharing a bed, and everyone gets enough sleep, why rock the boat? If a toddler goes to sleep holding a parent's ear (my dd did that too) why change it? He won't be doing it when he's 18 - he probably won't even be doing it when he's 4. If everybody's happy and getting enough sleep, then carry on with whatever you're doing. Before you know it, they won't want to be in the same county as you( unless they need a lift to a party) never mind in the same bed !

sleepysooz · 29/08/2006 23:06

Curlew - thank you I feel alot better now, I have had so many problems with do-gooders telling us how easy their children are at night and that their procedure is best or the correct way, that I have become dissolusioned (can't spell) plus the added family support (not) that I thought we must have been aliens.

I have always said as long as we don't make an issue of this it wouldn't become a problem, although we do have a slight problem in that my dh slept downstairs with twins. Now I have the added problem of getting up 10 times in the night plus my husband snoring which is as equally bad!

Wish you'd have posted this thread a week ago, I might have had second thoughts of own beds.

You should have seen my mums face when I said I would try it when they were nearly school age, her mouth nearly hit the floor!

sleepysooz · 29/08/2006 23:07

No you're not priggish?

nearlythree · 29/08/2006 23:33

sleepy, what we did with dd2 is to put two single matresses on her floor. Then if necessary one of us coul dsleep in with her. Now we don't need to. However, dd2 was an atrocious sleeper. I think it all depends on whether you were getting good sleep co-sleeping or not - we weren't.

nappyaddict · 29/08/2006 23:41

controlled crying.

sleepysooz · 30/08/2006 16:18

thanks nearlythree, but not enough room in bedroom, already have two beds in there.

Last night normal getting up 8ish times, really getting knackered now!

Also weakened, twins going to sleep with us and us carrying them to bed, yes its not good, but hey, we'll learn eventually, I just don't think them getting themselves off to sleep works for them, they need stroking and caressing! (spose only cause their used to it)

They do stay in their beds, and that to me is the achievement at the moment! so we'll work from here!

I think controlled crying is the next step, leaving them to go to sleep themselves, probably doing jobs upstairs, so they can see or hear me pottering about! they like noise to go to sleep and I have got to wean them off that aswell, so when they wake in night when its quiet they can go back to sleep themselves!

Thanks for everybodys advice, keep it coming, its really useful [yawn]

nearlythree · 30/08/2006 19:23

We have a CD of lullabies playing all night just outside their rooms. We're so knackered we sleep through it!

sleepysooz · 30/08/2006 21:44

oh bless! [cute]

curlew · 30/08/2006 22:34

Sooz - it's not weakening - it's giving your children what they need!!! Do what gives everybody the most sleep - if that's bedsharing and ear holding and lots of cuddles then do it. It's only for a very short time - they'll grow out of it by themselves before long. My 5 year old was cuddled to sleep until he was about 3.5 when he suddenly decided he'd rather have a Thomas story tape. He had done a psychological growth spurt and his needs changed. There's no rule book that says when they have to be in their own beds, or sleeping alone - and I would put money on the fact that a lot of people are pretty economical with the truth when they look back on their children's early years "Oh, little Tarquin slept through the night from three weeks, only waking up to write a sonnet or two before making everyone breakfast in bed"" "Really? Well, Jocasta reads herself to sleep every night - has done for ages. She does insist on Dickens, though, and I'm so worried that those heavy books will put a strain on her shoulders - she has to be so careful with Wimbledon coming up"

nearlythree · 30/08/2006 22:39

I think the important thing to consider is how you and dh feel. We'd had four yrs of no sleep and we moved house so we could actually sleep together in the same bed again.

sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 12:20

Well what a tiring week, twins not doing too bad, have bought cd and lullabies, brill idea, both go to sleep by themselves, although I am in the room while they go to sleep, but that doesn't bother me.

Will carry on though as the bedroom has cost me a small fortune with bits and bobs, even found some winnie pooh fairy lights (so cute)

DD cracked it she sleep all through night (mostly) just DS who wakes up to 10 times in 1 night, aaaaaH! frustration! I have to remember he has to go to bed without the comfort of dh ear so of course its harder for him! we are slowly weaning him off that and onto a soft toy!

I just can't turn back now, they love their beds, its just staying asleep for ds, hopefully in a couple of months, he'll be alot better!

DH and I are so shattered, and back to work next week so I pray it gets better before I move out!

nearlythree · 04/09/2006 21:21

Hi, glad the CD is helping. How is it going? Wish I could get dd2 interested in a cuddly or anything really, she went from my boob (she'd hang on with her teeth at the end!) to nothing. Now if I try to give her a toy, even her absolute favourite, Jess from PP, she yells NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and throws it across the room!

beckyndanuk · 04/09/2006 21:28

OK - This is not mum of the year stuff but here goes
We tried putting our ds in a bed when he was 2 but gave up when he just would not go to bed. He is now 2.5 and showed us how he could climb in and out of the cot(!) so we put him back in the bed. We have put the travel cot in the room and he is under "threat" that if he climbs out of bed he will sleep in the "baby cot" I know it is not fantastic parenting but it really works, he has sept in the cot for a week now and after one or two false starts and short spells in the travel cot he has got the message and is now going to bed with no fight and not getting up. For this he gets a reward in the morning.

sleepysooz · 04/09/2006 21:40

well twin1 dd is asleep, but ds has just sneaked downstairs to his dads ear, I have to go and rip him off! aaaaaaaah, can you hear the screaming!!!!!!!! (understatement) cd playing, but can't hear it!

I'm so of about this sleeping malarky! please god get my kid's to sleep, or else I'm going to just leave them to scream all night, and any do-goody mums, do not reply saying thats the only way, we've had it since easter, no its not the way for us!

ds just sitting on his floor now, cause I have come out of his room, and am cross, I have a mountain of ironing to do, cheques to write for school, uniform to do, kid's to get to sleep and I'm no where near my bed time or me time! help!

sleepysooz · 04/09/2006 21:42

I stand corrected, ds has now taken himself off to bed, whether he goes to sleep is another matter, but thats one stage better, he knows I'm cross, but what a way to go to bed, when mums cross!

Oh wait for it, 'wheres daddy'

Oh I'll have to go and sort him once and for all, before he wakes other twin up! [grrrrr]

nearlythree · 04/09/2006 21:42

Have you seen Tanya Byron do Rapid Return on THOTT?

sleepysooz · 04/09/2006 21:53

I can't believe it, get the champagne out, ds has actually put himself to bed and dropped off, ah bless the little scoundrel, yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now I can do my work! not much of a celebration then!

sleepysooz · 04/09/2006 21:54

I didn't even have to try rapid return. Yahoo!

nearlythree · 04/09/2006 22:10

Georgiesmum · 05/09/2006 10:36

I have a thread on this too. My Dd who is 18months has just had th sides taken of her votbed and for the past three nights we have only had One fallout, One calling mummy at 1.30am and One 6.30am wake up ( but she did go back to sleep!)

Seems to be going well so far.

However i did find her curled up on the floor asleep at 8 this morning where she had got out of bed early "read" some books and fallen asleep! bless her!

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