my finger's stuck in my dolly's dummy; my duvet's too slippery; my water tastes hairy; why haven't we got a mirror in our bedroom; the wardrobe door isn;t shut properly...

[thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat]

..can someone PLEASE tell me how to deal with this. It drives me nuts. I end up feeling horrid and angry. It ruins bedtime. What can I do to get her to understand that when I leave the bedroom it's OVER, the day is done, it's time to sleep (or at least be quiet), that pretty much only vomit is the only thing I need to know about...

how old is she?

How old is she? Old enough to understand "If I hear one more thing from you , there will be no TV/smimming/trip to park tomorrow" ??

i'd try a star chart maybe? if she goes to bed with no fuss she gets a star, certain amount of stars and she gets a little prize

Have you tried story tapes? They get distracted by that. Or later bedtime in the hope that she is really knackered?

Or say exactly that - Mummy is going to sit down now. No calling out for anything. And ignore any calling out. Did this for dd at 3 and it was MEAN but it worked. Was very very firm about bedtime being IT. END OF. GO TO SLEEP.

Ah. We had that.

DD would do this to DP. One more story, one more kiss, one more cuddle etc.

We changed it by making him leave the room first.

Then, although it probably sounds quite clinical I would say to her "Right, I'm going to count to 10 (elephants...one elephant, two elephant etc etc), then I'm going to sing twinkle twinkle. Then I'm going - because its night night time".

I stuck to exactly what I said I'd do. The first night she cried and fussed, wanted one more cuddle etc, but I just said "Good night, its night night time" and left the room. It lasted a few minutes the first night.

The second night - exactly the same routine, but she moaned for about a minute.

Next night - same routine - she was fine. Has been for last 2 months.

walk away

oh yes - plenty old enough to understand threats and rewards - she's 4, but they just don;t seem to work. I also think she's old enough to understand the concept - I get quite fed up of bribing and threatening. I don;t know...sometimes I just wish she'd do it cos that's what you do. iyswim. I guess that's just too optimistic.

ahhh Californifrau - I think you've got it. (but is it for her or me?)

we have this (dd2, 3.8)

'my tummy hurts, my dolly's fallen out, my story tape has run out'

she gets one strike here, allowed down to moan once then has to go back to bed otherwise story tape gets taken away/door is shut

I know when my DD dopes this she's trying it on. I just leav her

also we tried walking away. couple of nights ago she wanted me (not dh) to put her in bed - started out as a battle that seemed worth having - dh was doing bedtime, we weren't going to give in to shouted demands etc etc ended up with about 45 minutes of screaming and thrashing, getting out of bed, dh calmly putting her back, her getting out again. it was horrendous. (It was also, at moments, quite amusing - at one point dd2 shouts in one syllable bursts: I WANT MUM-EE TO PUT ME TO BED. dd1 comes back in beautifully mimiced voice: BE QUI - ET)

ds1 uses:
There's a ghoster in my room
There's someone in my room
My animals are talking to me
Its still daytime in my room
I need a wee
I cant find my rabbit
Look, I made that xxxx at playschool
Come and see how the fan works
Come and see whats under my bed
Come and do some jobs with me up here
Pleeeaaase stay with me...

My dd does this, she's 3.1/2, she does it on nights when she is not as tired as other days iykwim. Maybe 2 or 3 times a week. I give her three chances, each time responding quickly and with as little chatter as poss, and as i leave the room i say thats it now Mummy's working and you're going to bed. On the third time (if there is one) i am firm with her and say she won't be able to do....tomoroow, if she doesn't go to sleep now and 99% time it works.

I think giving as little attention as poss each time with no smiles cuddles or kisses helps - awww sounds real cruel doesn't it!

Sorry mustrun more but pmsl at "come and see how the fan works" that's exactly the kind of thing dd comes out with. all the ones in my thread title are genuine btw - and all from tonight.

but you have to be consistent. if you decide to walk away you have to stick to it.
she KNOWS that if she keeps on and on she will get your attention and that's what she wants.

Yes, you may be in for a long slog the first night or 2 but you have to show her that you mean what you say, otherwise it's totally pointless

Ditto Enid DD1 is 4.4

God, the fan one is the tip of the iceberg. Last week I had to listen to a -fairly accurate- description of how the central heating and plumbing works. He's 2.8!

mine have never done this
ever
sorry but i have no idea why

You must have far more authority than me

I assume, cod, that she does it because I am so horrible and neglectful that come bed time she doesn't feel she's had enough of me. I don;t really like to say it of my own daughter but she is stunningly manipulative - practices various faces infront of the mirror, says - when told that mummy is working from home "but I love you and want you to play with me"; says that she doesn;t want me to get out of bed in teh morning (she's in bed with me for morning cuddles) that she doesn;t want me to get up because I'm too lovely...

im not trying to be smug
will goa nd think of what we do and if it can haev any effect.

Maybe its a boy thing doc.

a good trick MAY be to in the day go through hwat we do at bed time to each toehr

or play dolsl and do the bedtime thign and make the dolyl get up etc adn tell her " oh no WE dont do that in our hosue dolly" ()

"DOC"
oh i LOVE that