my finger's stuck in my dolly's dummy; my duvet's too slippery; my water tastes hairy; why haven't we got a mirror in our bedroom; the wardrobe door isn;t shut properly...

[thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat]

..can someone PLEASE tell me how to deal with this. It drives me nuts. I end up feeling horrid and angry. It ruins bedtime. What can I do to get her to understand that when I leave the bedroom it's OVER, the day is done, it's time to sleep (or at least be quiet), that pretty much only vomit is the only thing I need to know about...

in light of, ahem everything can I just pat this thread on the back. the perfect mn thread. take something that's actually kind of a serious problem, get us to see the funny side, give out some advice. just as it should be.

and yes bundle, arguments over cuddly toys used to be a regular feature (seem to have got over it now). we have two enormous ones - Big Seal and Kangaroo - they have one each sitting in a guard-like position in the corner next to their pillow. Unfortunately Big Seal is new and soft and fluffy and has a very handy back-pack for your bits and pieces, whereas Kangaroo is getting on for 30 and the fact that she has a pouch with a baby in it and has an interesting life behind her including several years in Africa just doesn;t cut it.

My DDs (5.5) go through phases of doing this. Telling them that everyone they know is fast asleep in bed really helps. I run through a little list, teachers, aunties, uncles etc etc and it seems to work .

Last night it didn't work though. DD1 kept calling down:

My mattress is lumpy
My sister's breathing is bothering me!
Where's that leaflet I got from the bank today
Is God asleep yet
Are you drinking wine down there mummy

the woman, I feel so sorry for Kangaroo not cutting it now she's past her best!

don't think it is just a girl thing, DS1 does this too

I just keeping saying 3 stories then you go to your bed while mummy sings you your songs and then you will go to sleep

and sometimes it is a self-fulfilling prophecy and sometimes it is not!

LOL at 'are you drinking wine down there mummy'!

Love the eyes fallen out one!
After looking at leaflets whilst waiting for baby clinic yesterday, ds1's one last night was ... 'but I want to complain to the health authority'.

I love "where's that leaflet I got from the bank today?". as dd1 once rather witheringly pointed out to me "it might not be important to you mummy, but it is to me"

DD1 started this when she was about 4.5yo and we devised a list of about 10 of DD1's favourite procrastination/call back items - Have you been to the loo? Are your teeth clean? Do you have teddy? Is the night light on? Are there any cats under the bed? etc etc. We printed it out, put it in a plastic folder and now scrupulously go through The List each night checking off the items. After a final "goodnight" hug and kiss she is allowed one 'call back' but subsequent call backs get a rather shouty and tough reaction and she is never ever ever allowed back downstairs. Ever.

Two other things that have helped are 1.telling her exactly what we are going to do that evening ("I'm going downstairs to make dinner, then Daddy and I will eat it in the kitchen, then we'll clear up, then we'll watch TV in the sitting room etc." - we live a very dull and predictable life) and 2. telling her that we will come back in to take her to the loo and give her a kiss and cuddle when we go to bed. Both of these seem to help with the part of this behaviour that isn't naughtiness but mild separation anxiety.

I sympathise. However, unlike most of the people on this thread, my DD (nearly 4) doesn't bother coming out with lists of verbal excuses - (believe me, I have no problem leaving the room once stories and milk are done) - no, she just gets up and follows me downstairs.

I have tried EVERY strategy mentioned on this thread already -including Blueshoes "put bedtime back an hour" - this does mean less time messing around, but we're now on a 9.30 - 10pm bedtime which is soul-destroying - we have never had free evening time since the day she was born. Oh, and she wakes early too.

The only thing left is to fit a lock to her room, which she will hate. I don't like it from a safety point of view, and all the screams of protest will wake DS (age 2) which I can't bear the thought of (he goes to bed at 9pm). Has anyone done this in similar circumstances and with what success?

I was watching a repeat of house of tiny tearaways this evening and Dr Tanya had some wise words to the mother whose 7 yr old gets out of bed constantly

"she isn't a bad child. she does it because you ALLOW her to do it"

at some point you have to put your foot down. If you don't want your child constantly coming downstairs then you have to keep on taking them back.
Yes, it'll be horrible, yes she will scream, yes it may take a couple of hours.
But isn't it worth it???

micra, has your dd been watching Monty P and the Holy Grail, by any chance? There is a whole scene like that in it

Seriously, I think it's possible to tie something stretchy between the handle on the outside of her door and somewhere on the landing. Then she can open the door and call, so needn't feel confined, but can't get out. (Hopefully.)

just in case anyone's interested I felt empowered by you lot and your suggestions so here's how tonight went. Read story on sofa, as normal, put her in bed, made sure teddies were there, pile of books was acceptable, water wasn't hairy, and duvet wasn't slippery. Told them both they could have the light on but if they called me 4 times it was going off. this precipitated a long and detailed discussion as to what counted as "calling" and whether the light would go off after 4 or at the beginning of call number 5; all of which indicated to me that I'd just given them a green light to call me up to 4 times which they had every intention of using. so I did that evil mummy thing and changed the rules. I apologised profusely and told them it was one strike and out. the light would stay on until they called. my suspicions were confirmed - this was declared "too hard" god I wished I had a rewind button. From "too hard" she gradually built up to full on hysteria (I was, by this time downstairs being stoical). Eventually granny cracked and went to calm her down (it really was the whole nine yards - would have been fully at home in some reality tv show about horrid children - in fact she commented herself that she had made herself sick a bit but it went back down. ). I guess Granny was a reasonable compromise - it was me she wanted and granny she got. it was awful. so 4 strikes and out - possibly one of the stupidest ideas I've ever had. Tomorrow I'll continue with the light one, one strike and out. it might work.

fotm, why not just put the rope on to start with without even waiting for her to call you?
Or, say that you're not doing the rope any more and think of another repercussion for her

my DS has never done this (now 4 1/2)
my DD (2) does this intermittently
seems to be when she is feeling anxious (could be my paranoia though)

she kicks he covers off; follows me downstairs - back up to bed and explain firmly; 10 mins later hear creeping downstairs - back up again

end up showing her that Im staying for the night - tv on, cooking etc and she seems to settle

always have trouble for week after staying at daddy's
thats this weekend

will try the rope if it gets really bad