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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Advice needed please re middle of the night feed

100 replies

Taler · 20/01/2014 05:45

My 10 wk old DD feeds at 7am every morning. We are trying to encourage her to go through the night and as yet this has not been achieved. Her middle of the night feed is usually at 3am but recently has gone through to 4am.

Myself and my DH agreed the cut off should be 5am (as if we fed her after this time then she wouldn't take anything at the 7am feed). Tonight though she went through to 5:10am and I decided to feed her (as quite frankly didn't think she'd last a whole 2 hours and was pretty sure that water wouldn't satisfy her that long.

I have her a slightly smaller feed (4oz as opposed to 5oz) and this seems to have satisfied her enough for now. I'm sure she'll go through to 7am now but my concern is that come 7am she won't take anywhere near the 5ox she would usually have, meaning all her feed times will probably be thrown out for the day.

What do you other mums do who have set feed times?

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MrsOB · 20/01/2014 06:02

She's still only very little... I would just feed on demand tbh.

Neither of mine went through the night until about 5 months though

Mumof3xx · 20/01/2014 06:03

Your dd is very little to be doing this with .....

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 06:06

Thanks but feeding on demand didnt work for her at all. She is much more content knowing when her next feed is.

OP posts:

purrforagoodkip · 20/01/2014 06:23

How can she possibly know? Can she tell time already?

How much does she weigh?

Mumof3xx · 20/01/2014 06:26

If she's going through growth spurts she will likely need feeding more often. Have you spoken to your hv?

Twinsplusonesurprise · 20/01/2014 06:35

I would offer her a full feed no later than 7.30.
Pushing it by half an hour is easy to reclaim later. If she doesn't take it all don't worry - if she were BF you'd have no idea how much she was having.
It's hard isn't it?
My 15 wo DS was sleeping through until last week, now he wakes at 3/4am and is so cross I've no choice but to feed him and predictably he's fussing at his feed now instead of tucking in! Ah well, as they say, this too shall pass!

atthestrokeoftwelve · 20/01/2014 06:51

Wow- pretty harsh- she is tiny yet- only 10 weeks and you are trying to restrict her feeds. Most babies are still feeding through the night at this age- she will be genuinely hungry.
At 10 weeks my babies were having 2-3 breastfeeds through the night.
So what if her "feed times" are "thrown out" for the day.
babies- like adults eat when they are hungry.

HaymitchAbarnathy · 20/01/2014 06:53

A 10 week old should just be fed on demand. Waking and feeding during the night is perfectly normal behaviour for a baby that age.

Twinsplusonesurprise · 20/01/2014 06:59

taler I know how hard it is to change from busy independent working woman to at home with new baby.
It's a total change of job and all your organised and carefully planned world goes out the window. To try to get some semblance of order back in my life I used strict routines with my twins and it saved my sanity and the twins thrived.
If you've decided to follow routine too then you do it. The difficulty is when baby decides to grow a bit and you've then got to alter your days too. Your confidence will grow with babies so please don't worry.

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 07:07

When a baby is in a routine they don't need to "tell the time". They get used to feeding at set times so their body clock kicks in.

My DD never cries for food any more because she KNOWS she's going to be fed. A baby who feeds on demand will cry for food because that's the only way they get fed!

Its whatever works for you and your baby!

The only time my DD cries for food is when she's having a growth spurt.

OP posts:

atthestrokeoftwelve · 20/01/2014 07:11

But babies habits change.

Even as adults we have some days when we are hungrier than others. babies are human too- they are not machines- what if they prefer to have a feed a little earlier or later?

How would you cope if you were living somewhere without a clock- would your life fall apart?

MrsOB · 20/01/2014 07:11

I'm assuming this isn't your first baby as you sound very confident - with my first, and to an extent, my second, at 10 weeks I had literally no idea what was going on!!

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 07:14

Twinsplusonesurprise - thank u :)

To everyone else who is pro feeding on demand - there is nothing wrong with a routine for a baby - any age baby! Feeding on demand, as I said, didn't work for my DD and she is much more content knowing what's coming next. Why is that so hard to accept?!

I never said I wouldn't feed her if she was hungry - I will always offer her a feed if that's what she wants. I just asked for advice from those mums who do have a routine with feed times as to what to do for the 7am feed.

OP posts:

atthestrokeoftwelve · 20/01/2014 07:18

Taler- you are asking advice on how to withhold food from your tiny baby through the night. Some of us are suggesting that you don't- that you simply feed her instead.

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 07:19

This is my first baby and yes, overall I am confident with her.

I am fully aware they babies habits change and I haven't once said I haven't or wouldn't allow for that.

My DD woke - naturally - at 5:10 this morning for her middle of the night feed which usually happens between 3am and 4am. For the millionth time - I just wanted advice re her 7am feed bearing in mind she only fed less than 2 hours previously (and she is used to feeding at 4 hourly intervals).

OP posts:

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 07:20

@ atthestrokeoftwelve - no I wasn't!!!

OP posts:

Faithless12 · 20/01/2014 07:26

My DD never cries for food any more because she KNOWS she's going to be fed. A baby who feeds on demand will cry for food because that's the only way they get fed!

That's ridiculous, DS was fed on demand and hardly ever cried and when he did it wasn't to be fed. I've known plenty of babies that were fed on demand and didn't cry to be fed. The baby next door to us that was fed on a schedule screamed like crazy for 3 hours at a time...

Wait and see how she is and if she wants a feed give it to her.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 20/01/2014 07:30

faithless- I agree my babies never cried. Crying to be fed is a last resort- it's easy to tell when a baby is hungry before it gets to the crying stage.

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 07:37

Faithless12 - feeding on demand I thought meant you feed your baby when they ask for food? And as they can't yet talk they cry - as that's how they communicate (other than hunger cues but its not always possibly to catch these unless you're staring at your baby 24/7 waiting for them!).

Therefore how did you feed on demand if your DS never cried?

The baby next door who cried for 3 hours at a time - how do you know that was for food? And if it was then I would guess that baby was either going through a growth spurt, or was draining his/her bottle every feed (meaning his/her daily intake should be increased), or there was something else wrong altogether.

OP posts:

atthestrokeoftwelve · 20/01/2014 07:40

Babies don't need to cry tpo ask for food- they can't talk obvioulsy but they do communicate with gestures, body and hand movements. Crying is a last resort- I never left it so long thatthey needed to cry- they knew I understood their non verbal gestures.

jaggythistle · 20/01/2014 07:50

OP it sounds like you are happy with set feed times. I doubt a tiny baby prefers it our in fact has a clue

I can't get my head round the concept of micromanaging fixed feed times. What is the problem with it being slightly different one day to the next?

Are you really trying to hold her off with water? This is really not recommended, especially for tiny babies. They do not need water in addition to milk and you're just filling up their wee tummy with no nutrition

Also thing to get a baby to sleep through at 10 weeks seems just a tiny but optimistic.

Madamecastafiore · 20/01/2014 07:53

OP what are you asking exactly?

You are giving your dd her feed which she would normally have at between 3 and 4 when she wakes at 5ish. Is she then asking for food at around 7 or are trying to stretch her until 7 and miss out the 5ish feed all together?

callamia · 20/01/2014 07:54

It's usually quite easy to tell that an 'on demand' baby is hungry - long before tears.

I wonder what routine-feed babies do when they're facing a growth spurt? (I've been curious about this for a while). Is it common to give a little more on very hungry days?

What do you plan to do between 5 and 7am if your baby us awake and in search of food? These aren't judgements - just questions - I don't feel able to have an opinion on something that I don't really understand.

jaggythistle · 20/01/2014 07:56

Grr. Think not thing and bit not but!

Sorry if my post is a bit grumpy OP, it just seems like you're over worrying here.

Original poster

Taler · 20/01/2014 08:04

My HV said they DO need water when you give them formula as "formula is a feed only and not a drink unlike breast milk". I give my DD between 3 and 5oz water a day.

The only time I try to "hold her off" with water would be if, for example, she was due a feed at 3pm but at 2pm she seemed hungry. BUT if water didn't work in that instance is always feed her, early or not! Saying I'm filling her up on water with no nutrition is a horrible thing to say! It's implying I'm not caring for her and neglecting her!

Why do all you mums who feed on demand have such an issue with routines? If they were that wrong and that harmful we wouldn't do it! I waited 3 years for my DD. I love her more than words could say. She is a happy, healthy and contented baby and a large part of that is because she is in a routine.

I don't say feeding on demand is wrong. If it works for you then that's great.

There is plenty out there to make us mums (especially us new mums) feel inadequate without this bullsh*t being added unnecessarily. Am I not right?! Surely as long as our babies are fed and loved then how the hell does it matter how we achieve that ?!!!

OP posts:

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