Advice needed please re middle of the night feed

[Taler]

My 10 wk old DD feeds at 7am every morning. We are trying to encourage her to go through the night and as yet this has not been achieved. Her middle of the night feed is usually at 3am but recently has gone through to 4am.

Myself and my DH agreed the cut off should be 5am (as if we fed her after this time then she wouldn't take anything at the 7am feed). Tonight though she went through to 5:10am and I decided to feed her (as quite frankly didn't think she'd last a whole 2 hours and was pretty sure that water wouldn't satisfy her that long.

I have her a slightly smaller feed (4oz as opposed to 5oz) and this seems to have satisfied her enough for now. I'm sure she'll go through to 7am now but my concern is that come 7am she won't take anywhere near the 5ox she would usually have, meaning all her feed times will probably be thrown out for the day.

What do you other mums do who have set feed times?

I don't have strong feelings on demand vs routine but don't think a ten week old should be encouraged to sleep through the night. It's a long time for a tiny tum to go without food.

Your HV is wrong. Check nhs guidance.

Formula is mostly water, of course its a drink.

She wouldn't need extra water except in extreme circumstances of ridiculously hot weather as far as I'm aware.

You're giving it instead of milk because you don't want to feed her when she wants a feed. Why?

I had two babies sleeping through 7-7 by 12 weeks and the way I did it was basically offering a feed whenever I could even if they only took a little bit... I fed on demand.

I think 10 weeks is ridiculously young to be offering water during the night to try and tide them over to the next feed. Just offer milk and gradually they will take less and less.

For the 7 am feed just give however much they will take. If you always had 2 slices of toast for breakfast sometimes you might fancy 1.. no big deal.

I think you are putting your own desire to get your baby to sleep through ahead of what is a natural desire for a baby - to be fed when they want it.

Interesting what your HV said re water, as I believe that giving such a young baby water is actually not recommended unless in execptionally hot weather.

Ok.

It is your HV who is feeding you the sh*t. Formula is a whole meal, food and drink and your baby does not need water on top of this.

Your hv is totally wrong by the way. Formula fed babies only need water in extremely hot weather. Both mine were ff.

@ Madamcastafiore - my DD's feed times are 7,11,3,7,11,3.

We don't wake her though for the 3am feed (as a baby will never go through the night if you continue to wake them for food), we let her wake us when she wants a feed.

The key with a routine (in my opinion) is sticking to timings as much as possible. And I feel compelled to add here that this doesn't in any way mean I let my DD starve or won't feed her if that's clearly what she wants!

My only query (as today was first day she'd gone well beyond 3/4 am) was if she fed at 5:10am she then might only want a very small amount at the 7am feed which would then throw out all feed times after that.

@ Callamia - when my DD has a growth spurt it's always pretty clear. Usually she would always be satisfied after a feed whereas at these times she is looking for more - and I give it to her

OP put it this way, you're hungry and go to get done lunch. How would you like it I'd someone said no and only gave you water, then made you wait an hour!

Why is this acceptable for a wee baby?

I am not against routine, but just can't understand denying a hungry tiny baby a feed if its not the right time for it's parent if say.

Also I would bet a lot of money that you eat our drink more often that every 4 hours if you feel like it.

Can you see what I mean?

My 13 month old still sometimes need a feed at night. They have growth spurts and their stomachs are tiny.

Please don't withhold food from a 10 week old :(

Taler, please don't take this the wrong way, but you are coming across like you already know it all in your posts, when what you asked for was advice.

At 10 weeks with baby no 1, yes you are the one who knows your baby best, but you have asked what to do if baby is hungry. The answer is feed her. If that means that on that day she isn't hungry at 7am, then either adjust feed times that day or accept that she might not take a whole feed at 7 and that might throw today out.

If a feeding schedule works for you and baby then great, but if she is hungry then you should feed. You also should not be giving 5oz of water per day, that is essentially an entire feed you are replacing with water. No one is suggesting that you are neglecting your baby but you have been given bad advice wrt giving water. Absolutely unnecessary in this weather.

If a young baby is waking at night then they are hungry.. Simple as!!

My dd1 fed regular as clockwork every 4 hours you could literally set a clock by her she was going from about 11pm until about 7 am by about 8 weeks.. Totally a routine she fell into until she started on solids then her last feed would be her bed time bottle about 7pm & she'd sleep through. Was 22 weeks old by then.

Ds was a regular 3hr feeder & was sleeping 7pm til about 5.30am at 16 weeks .. Totally fed in demand & again a routine that just developed.. I attempted to feed a bit later at night so he would sleep later in the mornings but he didn't like it & was ready for bed at 7pm.. A 10 minute delay to that would have him screaming. He's still in a similar routine now at age 2.
I was very focused on getting him to sleep through the night because I'm a lone parent & was knackered but feeding in demand is much less stressful

Taler, I remember this stage with my dd and it is hard when they don't want anything at 7am. I used to just give her as much as she needed at 5 and then offer her a top up at 7/7.30. I followed the GF timings though which were between 3-4 hours, so 7, 10, 2, 5 and 7 (no 11pm feed unless she woke, which she didn't). I think as she's getting to the age where she will sleep to 5-7 you just have to change your routine slightly and maybe feed again nearer to 10 for example. She will eventually go through til 6-7 and then you will just have to make that the morning feed instead. I love a routine but you do need to be slightly flexible once their day starts at different times.

OMG!!! I do not and have never said I give her water instead of milk!!!!!

Purr, you have effectively just called op a twat which is rude and, well, twatish. It was not unreasonable for the op to trust the advice of a health professional who specialises in babies.

You've said you will feed her a bit early 'if water doesn't satisfy her'

As a previous poster said 5 oz is a whole bottle worth.

Here is the NHS advice about water - it clearly says that water is only needed for formula fed babies in extreme hot weather.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/drinks-and-cups-children.aspx

Thank you nosleeptillbedtime.

And yes a HV is a professional and should know as much if not maybe more (seeing as though babies/children are their sole focus) as a GP so funnily enough why the hell would I not believe my HV??? Plus its water we're talking about not friggin Gin!!! Why would I have thought to question that?!

I may offer her water if its a bit early but that doesn't replace, never has and neve would, a feed!

She doesn't need any water.

You're giving water instead of milk to try and fit to your imposed timings. Just give milk early?

Taler, there is a condition called water intoxication which is dangerous especially for young babies. Perhaps research this for yourself and then decide what to do.

taler any amount of water you give at 10 weeks is 'instead of milk' because if you didn't give it then she would most likely drink an equivalent amount of formula instead.

But i don't think anyone is suggesting that you give it in place of an actual feed iyswim.

I do think that maybe you are looking at her waking at the 'wrong' time in a slightly negative way (i.e. Oh that's thrown the whole day out) instead of positively (i.e. Yay she now sleeps a 6 hour stretch at night). As she does this more and more, and longer and longer stretches, its going to be impossible to stick to her feed times of 11, 7, 3. If feeding 4 hourly works in the daytime then do that, but days start at different times now and it will likely get a whole lot more erratic before it gets to the stage of her sleeping 10-12 hours.

HV's quite often give out of date advice and IME rarely say anything useful at all. My HV told me at 6 weeks that if my 'last' feed wasn't at 11pm then my baby would never sleep through the night. Work that one out!

I don't get routines at all- seems more for the convenience of the mother than the welfare of the baby.

Adults don't stick to rigid timetables- whtyy should babies?

yesterday we all slept late, then had brunch instead of breakfast meaning that no-one was very hungry at lunchtime, so we had something to eat at 3pm. Consequently we didn't eat our evening meal until 7pm.

I don't consider the timing of the meals yesterday as "thrown out" or a disaster because we ate at odd times- why should a baby be any different?