Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Help! I've gone and shot myself in the foot!

52 replies

cupcake78 · 15/12/2013 08:07

Ds 6 has woken me up 5, yes 5!!! Times last night and this morning proceeded to do the same. Refusing to get his own breakfast every 10 minutes coming into our room.

I lost it and told him we would not put up the Christmas tree if he woke me again. I never thought he'd risk that but in he comes 10 minutes later.

I now can't put up the tree today. The next time I will be able to do it is next Sunday . I didn't think it through very well did I. Now we all have to suffer because of him . I wish I had said he would sit in his room and not help with it.

I'm so sad and can't look at ds I'm so cross and disappointed in him. I can't get out of this now can I?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SanityClause · 15/12/2013 08:20

It's okay for parents to say something they later regret. You can say, I was so frustrated about being woken up, I said something I didn't really mean.

You could then turn the whole thing into a conversation about him coming in too early, and what can be done about it in the future. Maybe he will have some ideas, you can use, as well.

Does he have a clock in his room? If not, perhaps FC could bring one. Give him a time when it is okay to disturb you (make sure he knows a wet bed or being sick or other emergencies fall outside of this, though!). Make sure he has plenty to do on his own in his room - books to read, toys he can play with without assistance.

6 is old enough to start thinking about other people, and how your actions affect them.

youarewinning · 15/12/2013 08:23

I agree. Use it as an opportunity to show him how his actions (waking you up) have consequences ( you getting cross!). Tell him adults, like children, sometimes say things in the heat of the moment when they are angry. It's fine to say if you wind people up they may say something they don't mean and then everyone ends up sad.

It's the sort of situation that occurs with 6yos all the time so a skill and knowledge he'll benefit from.

msmiggins · 15/12/2013 08:24

He's excited about christmas. You are not putting the tree up now as a punishment.
Otherwise your punishment is ineffectual. I don't see what the tree has to do with getting up early- it seems a bit random.
I do sympathise.
Sorry no advice- I don't punish.

Original poster

cupcake78 · 15/12/2013 08:28

This has been going on since he was born! Every weekend he does this and I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do with him I'm so tired. I'm so cross with him I can't stand being round him anymore.

Dh has got up and showered and its making me even more angry. Why have I even bothered I could have stayed in bed. I'm so furious I could walk out and leave them to it but I know if I do dh will pretend nothing has happened and we'll be in exactly the same situation next week.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 15/12/2013 08:31

Can't you put it up tonight when he is in bed?

RandomMess · 15/12/2013 08:32

What does your ds want when he comes into your room? Is he an only child? I'm thinking he wants company in the mornings.

msmiggins · 15/12/2013 08:34

I can sympathise-My DD was an early waker too- 5am was her wakening time for many years. I tried everything. Never got cross though- it's not naughty behaviour and at 6 he's too young to sort himself out for a few hours while you sleep. I just made sure I went to bed early myself- there is a lot you can achieve in these early hours, my kitchen was always spic and span and a couple of loads of laundry done before 7am.

curlew · 15/12/2013 08:35

What does he want when he comes into your room?

curlew · 15/12/2013 08:37

And I don't understand the bit about being cross with your dh- have I missed a bit?

Branleuse · 15/12/2013 08:39

i think thats too big a punishment for something hes always done

RandomMess · 15/12/2013 08:39

Curlew I can only think she got up with ds and then the dh got up anyway. I did wonder why they don't take it in turns at the weekend so each gets a sleep in.

msmiggins · 15/12/2013 08:40

I agree randomess- 6 year olds like company.

Sparklingbrook · 15/12/2013 08:41

If it were me i would think of some things he can do today, chores/tidying/helping. Then if he does them without moaning reconsider the tree putting up.

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 15/12/2013 08:42

I had to buy DS a clock, and told him I dud not want to see him, nor was he allowed to play or read, before 7.

He said it was not fair, as lying in the dark was so boring it made him fall asleep again.

If he woke at 5, I'd say that meant he had to go to bed early too, early rise early bed.

Somehow it worked. Good luck

FunkyBoldRibena · 15/12/2013 08:44

Why not go to bed earlier if you know he does it every weekend?

RandomMess · 15/12/2013 08:44

Mine used to go downstairs by themsleves at a much younger age than this whilst we were still in bed but our house is tiny and we had multiple dc. Until they were old enough to get themselves breakfast one of us would be up fairly early as they would come demanding food

msmiggins · 15/12/2013 08:45

I am still not sure what the early waking has to do with the christmas tree- dis I miss a bit or was that just a random punishment idea?

curlew · 15/12/2013 08:47

Oh, I see, random. Yes, that would be a bit annoying.

I would be finding a way to earn doing the tree back, if it was me- it seems too big a punishment. And I never think there's anything wrong with letting a child know you've over reacted, if you can do it without completely backing down.

Original poster

cupcake78 · 15/12/2013 09:00

It has very little to do with the Christmas tree except I know he was excited about putting it up and we said we were doing it this morning. My reasoning wasn't well thought out all I thought in my head was don't think I'm putting the tree up at 6am after 2 hours sleep (yet again). Sorry I know that wasn't clear.

I can't go to bed earlier we have dd who's 5 months and we've had problems with her feeding. Whole other story. She will now only settle with me and is a bugger to get to sleep. She is waking up twice a night as well. We have 2 lots of sick parents who we have to visit every weekend so we get very little family time, no help and went dh takes the children it's to catch up on washing uniforms etc.

There is a huge back story to all this which I'm not going into but please just trust me when I say we are exhausted have no spare time to sleep. We are doing out best!

OP posts:

Janek · 15/12/2013 09:02

i think people are missing the point here - he woke her FIVE TIMES IN THE NIGHT and then woke early as well. early waking is par for the course with children, eventually this will get better, this, too, shall pass, etc etc, but being continually woken in the night is tantamount to torture. i have no solutions op, but i really sympathise.

what i might suggest in this (christmas tree) situation today is to sit down calmly and talk to him, explain how you were rash, because you were so tired, see if you can agree on a way forward (appeal to his logical side, 6 year olds do understand, even if they don't actually want to show any empathy!) which involves putting up the christmas tree. with some talk of how you will find it hard to come to a similar agreement in the future if he doesn't stick to his side this time.

msmiggins · 15/12/2013 09:03

I do have sympathy, sorry if I sounded harsh. You have a lot on your plate. Have you spoken to him?

I don't punish that's all- it just sounded a little random .

Original poster

cupcake78 · 15/12/2013 09:03

The idea of getting him to do chores is a good one. At least it would help out a bit! Is 6 too young to wash a car with a bucket? On a driveway not a road

OP posts:

callamia · 15/12/2013 09:05

Can you give him an opportunity to win it back? Ask him to do you a huge favour for you (anything), and so you can get the tree up AND he can think that he's done something great for you.

The not staying in his own bed thing can be tackled separately. Other peo

curlew · 15/12/2013 09:07

At the risk of having an undecorated Christmas tree thrown at me, what have you tried for stopping your 6 year old waking you up?

Clock? Breakfast left out for him? Allowed downstairs to watch telly? Bribery? Star charts?

callamia · 15/12/2013 09:07

-ple have suggested some good advice.

I don't see any need for the punishment you set out of tiredness to affect everyone at this point.

Flip

1 2 3