My dsd is 8. Her parents seperated when she was 1. As far as her memory serves her sf has always been in her life. I have been since she was 4. Over the last year she has been wetting and soiling herself. She has been ignoring tge urge to use the toilet. When she clearly needs to go and is asked to, she claims she doesnt need to resulting in an accident (this was some what of a test to see if she would soil herself when she realised we knew she needed to go, following claims she physically couldnt feel the urge, medicak tests show she is physically fine). Her mother has found balls of poo hidden under the sofa. She hides it her underwear when it happens but has shown no remorse when it is discussed. She has done it at school and has no appreciation of what could happen with other children if they realise. Her mother has been told to keep a diary of when it happens ans has been referred to child mental health services. Her mother is unhappy about this (im guessing owing to stigma).
In the past she has also made up lies with regards to my dp and her sf, things theyve said about one another for example. Her schooling is excellent, she is the chatty one in class but not disruptive to a level that causes concern re a learning difficulty. What I find odd is that for a child who has never known her parents live together she is very aware they dont, eventhough it isnot uncommon in her peer group.
In the last 4/5 years she has had a lot of things happen, 4 sisters born (1 by her mum, 3 by myself) her mum married her sf, they moved closer to all dsd family. All positives from a parent perspective but I dont think so from hers.
And although her mother believes my dp to be the devil and has insinuated that this is a result of things that have happened at our house (a rough patch a year ago but a huge effort was made to conceal that from all kids, especially dsd as her soiling had started before then) we are in the tricky position of knowing that this behaviour only happens at her mothers. Every other weekend we have no issues to report. We had a brief spell of defiant behaviour that was causing concern at the beginning of the year when at the same time her mother was said to be in tears due to how bad she was.
Sorry so long. Anyone had similar? Any opinions? Just good to discuss because short of saying "you need to look a bit closer to home love" ( catty sorry! ) to her mother its a bit puzzling as to what to do.