How do you teach them that Mummy's the boss?

[chicaguapa]

My dd is 2.5 and genuinely seems to think that she has as much right to make decisions as me and my dh.

She tells us not to do things like talk on the phone or she'll switch the TV off when she doesn't want us to watch it anymore (we hardly watch it anyway!). If we override her (because we're the parents after all) it really really looks like we're being naughty in the same way as if she's been told not to do something and then she goes ahead and does it anyway.

She's not copying our behaviour per se as we don't switch the TV off etc but she does tell us to "Come back" when we walk out her bedroom like we do when she runs off in the park.

It's a bit difficult to explain as the behaviour just comes across as a normal bossy 2 yo. She's a really good girl and generally very obedient which I hope we can owe to how consistent we've been with discipline whilst being relaxed at the same time ie only saying NO when it's dangerous or a definite no no instead of saying no all the time so that they switch off.

I've always tried to be fair when bringing her up and not wanting to give her mixed signals etc. I think she's not just being naughty and that what's happening at the moment is confusing her as she can't understand why we get to do what we want and make decisions final and she can't.

I'm probably reading too much into it which is probably because I'm really interested in child psychology but I'm loathe to start telling her that we get to do what we want because we're bigger and older etc.

Any ideas? Should children understand who's got authority automatically through the parents behaviour or is there some other way to tackle this problem?

That's what I was trying to say! Glad I'm not the only one.

Hi I am new to mumsnet. I have 5 yearold twins (a boy and a girl), since they turned 5 they fight "constently" any advice would be helpful. It is very frustrating.

i too have bg twins ( now 11) when my kids fight i make them kiss and make up - great incentive not to fight int he first place. if its physical fighting - sometimes i just used to elave them to it until the winner felt guilty ( they may beat each other but they have hearts) then make then kiss and make up. other strategies include shouting til you lose your voice, taking them on a long long walk whilst repating " you obvoiusly have too much spare enegery" poiniently between miserable snotty crying

Sorry all, I know we're meant to all respect each other's views and so on on MN, but I laughed out loud when I read Amber's post! Fine, be part of the anti-smack brigade if you want, but don't try and preach to the rest of us!

I know people who have never smacked their children, and I know people who I think smack far too much/often. In our house it's definitely a last resort, and at this stage, only when something immediate is required (e.g DS will get a smack if he runs out in the road after bieng asked to stay on pavement, or if he deliberately pushes his baby sister off her chair).

Every child is different, but I find DS (3 in Dec) is mainly motivated by the desire to please me, and so just the threat of "Mummy will be cross if you do XYZ", followed by an explanation of why, is enough to distract him.

I understand that for some people, having gone through a physically violent childhood results in them working through the same pattern with their own children, but this is not the majority of people. Saying the odd smack here and there makes you a violent and abusive parent is rather like saying smoking one cigarette will have you mainlining smack before you know it!

like the last analogy lulupop