dd (3) is very serious, have i caused it?

[muddyprints]

dd1 was a quiet toddler, well behaved, liked books/jigsaws/building with megablox and liked to sit and concentrate and have conversations from an early age. as my first I had no comparisons, she didn't like big playgroups and was scared of loud noise so I took her swimming/gym/parks and she was happy. when she started nursery at 3.2 they commented she was very serious and never got very excited about anything. I said she liked books and older kids who she could talk to and she settled fine, made a few quiet friends plus lots of older friends and came out of her shell and is now happy/loud/bouncy at 6yrs old.

dd2 is now 3 and similar, quiet, well behaved, a bit more physical but chats away all the time, plays by me at playgroups and loves her big sister.
I am noticing more that she is very different to other preschool kids. they are running round madly, box on their head laughing hysterically, having loud fun together. she is looking at books, talking and asking questions, she talks to adults more than kids.

have I made them too adult somehow? have I took the fun out of them? am I too strict?

they both laugh and dance and play, but they seem older than their peers somehow?

Mine did not run around madly with other children. Not all children are like this and some do prefer books and quieter activities. Yours will settle well at school and do very well. You can always have some "fun" trips. Mine used to like indoor play centres. It sounds as if DD1 has made friends so I would not worry at all. DD2 will do the same. They are perfectly normal and they just have different personalities from the hyper active children who rush around all the time.

Everyone is different. You have two quiet daughters who prefer books to running around. So what?

They sound like lovely children. Happy, calm and confident . Enjoy it.
( and they might not be such idyllic teenagers)

I have one of each. DD is fairly quiet and loves games puzzles books etc. DS shouts jumps runs and wrecks the place. It cannot be noisy and fast enough for him.

You've not caused your DD to be serious. Don't worry.

Have you beaten them regularly any time they act like children?! No, I am sure you are not too strict! :) It sounds like it is just their personalities.

Have you asked your parents what you were like at that age?

They sound really lovely. And there must be a lot of parents envying you their quiet behaviour....

Nothing wrong with being a serious child, we are all different. I was like that when I was little , I actually didn't laugh until I was 2.5! It's just different personalities.

I was a serious quiet mature child. I've raised ruffians, though. :)

I think there is far more to nature than nurture. Mine are all adult now and I can take the long term view, they are what they are and the parent's job is to support. They sound lovely.

I agree, my DS1 is an introverted sensitive little boy who loves his puzzles, cars and books and DS2 is looking like he will be quite similar (only 10 months but hates his space being invaded and loud noises classic introvert signs). I think they are wonderful, my husband and I are like this and so is most of the extended family. I think we are pushed in society to think extroversion is the ideal and there is something amiss with our children if they are quieter and thinkers. Your girls sound lovely, enjoy x.

What do you mean by too strict? What can't they do?

thank you all, I think the teachers comment about dd1 has stayed with me as though she thought she was never having fun and now people comment on dd2 how quiet she is, how good she is, how shes like a little lady and I am just noticing her difference more.
I don't let them jump on furniture, I don't let them be rude or forget their manners and I encourage them to respect people and things.
they play and draw and paint and playdoh and feed the ducks and do craft and swim and love softplay.
but other parents are definitely more laid back than me letting their kids leap about more and be wild and loud.
I was quiet and shy and hung back a lot and I hoped they would be more outgoing and not pushed to the back of the queue but obviously not.

No, they are who they are. I ignored a food fight when I was five because I wanted to finish my book. I am now relatively outgoing and normal (although I still prefer reading to flinging food about).

This sounds like DS(16) he's always been "old" his sisters say he's a 30 year old trapped in a 16 year old's body. At primary school he was most often described as "sensible" Just part of the rich tapestry of family life OP enjoy them how they are.

If they wanted to jump on furniture, be rude and not respect people and things you would have a much harder job. It seems fairly simple because they are not that way inclined to begin with.

I have three ds's. ds2 is quiet and serious, the other two are not. It's just their personalities.

yes dd1 is described as sensible. although at home sometimes she acts daft she is normally reserved when out.
I do accept them as they are and they are both loving little girls, im just a worrier.

thank you, im glad they are individuals and will never be the loudest children (thankfully) but they seem older, more sensitive, dd2 cries if another child cries.

Is it a stealth boast?

Muddy my older DD is just like yours....so serious and never liked "silly" games or loud groups. DD2 is different and I never did anything different in how I treated them so I think it's just their personality.

DD1 is 9 now and still decidedly un-silly! She spends hours reading and doing homework but she has lovely friends too...she has found girls like her. DD2 is like a whirlwind...loves physical play and daft songs etc and at 5 is very excitable still. I think it's fine.x

no boast I promise, just worry and thinking
I think its other people making me doubt myself. eg went to a party and it was loud with a disco and bouncy castle etc, other kids ran straight in and piled in, dd2 (3) took off her shoes then sat on my lap holding a balloon just watching, a balloon popped and a few kids screamed and dd2 started to cry and hold her ears. I just cuddled her a bit and thought she would be ok in a minute but the lady next to me said "oh I see shes no better yet". it made me feel awful like dd2 had something wrong with her wheras I just thought she was overawed by noise and bustle.

If you're worried maybe speak to your GP regarding sensitivity to noise? I probably would, but then I'm slightly paranoid about child related stuff.

There is no need to speak to a GP, it is perfectly normal-my brother used to cry if anyone squeaked a balloon at a party and he was much older!