Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Cna I just share this with whoever is interested, I cant believe what ive just seen, am sooooo **** off

105 replies

stoppinattwo · 04/07/2006 22:01

Sorry to rant but here goes........

Was putting DD to bed earlier when I heard a van screech to a halt outside. looked out and saw the van and a bike lying on the floor. Ran outside and found a little boy (6) had been knocked off his bike on the main road outside. It didnt look to serious, his leg was quite badly scraped and few bumps and bruises. Carried him to his parent house 4 doors along and there was nobody in.I phoned an ambulance etc the little boy by this time was hysterical.

His mother and father turned up about 10 minutes later, they had both been out (at McDonalds .....please ) both got angry at each other and started to blame each other........... sorry if this is too surreal. poor van driver doesnt know what to do, poor child is still hysterical as he can now see what he has done to himself. These people have three other children who were all in the house alone, all younger than this lad. Ambulance arrives and little boy is taken with mum to the hospital. Notice she is expecting another. I try not to judge, people have problems and people have priorities but I could have been lifting a dead child from off that road and I feel like shaking that mother so hard I just dont know what to do.
The poor van driver was shaking soo hard i didnt know what to say to him for the best. The boy had ridden out of the drive way straight into his path and he had tried to stop.
If i see this boys mother or father its going to be so hard to keep my mouth shut.

Sorry to rant, I just need to calm down a bit

OP posts:
poisson · 09/07/2006 16:45

i think it really is courses for horses
no on knwos hte places we live in or the kdis and sho youd trust to go where is hard to gauage on the interenet

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 16:48

Cross posts poppy

No I don't feel ganged up on or upset

Just feel people are posting with their guts and not their minds if you see what I mean - not actually reading what I'm saying, just responding with shock and upset at what has happened to the young boy, which is natural.

Erm, I think it's safe to play out on the pavement on your bike if it isn't too busy. We have a nice little network of pavements and driveways that the neighbourhood children like to cycle around on. They also go into the road but although it's very quiet here, I wouldn't feel happy with that for my own children, as sometimes cars do come round the corner very fast. Also there is enough space for them to cycle happily up and down the pavements without bothering anyone.

You know I was reading the other day that fewer children are killed now in motor accidents than in the 20s . Mostly because children are simply never allowed to be in situations where there could be any danger at all.

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 16:49

I agree cod

There was a post earlier about nobody should ever let their 6 year olds play out

I have just been sitting here taking issue with that post for most of the afternoon

poisson · 09/07/2006 16:50

you cant say till yo haev been there
sillly thread imo

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 16:56

My DS is 7 and i know i couldnt trust him on a bike anywhere near a road. Once he's playing he may as well be on mars. He goes into his own little world and pays little attention to what goes on around him.

Agree with poisson, you know your own child best and your own surroundings.

You should let your own instinct be your guide as to what is considered safe for your child.

Its just that this boys mother has the instinct of a thoughtless trollop . I still havent seen her yet, think she's lying low, hopefully rethinking her responsibilities.
There are so many people offering help to her now she should be able to sort herself and her family out. (I hope)

OP posts:
poisson · 09/07/2006 16:56

shall i call ds2 back in then
his mate came to clal fro hima dn theya re outside
..............

on BIKES

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 16:58

The thread wasnt supposed to be about where how or when to trust your child going out, it just developed from me sounding off into a discussion.

Is that silly?

OP posts:
poisson · 09/07/2006 16:58

no oyu are loverly

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 17:00

thanks poisson

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 17:02

Cod thinks all threads she hasn't started are silly

Get him in right now, woman! On bikes? Wjat were you thinking?

I think it has been interesting, stoppinattwo. These things do tend to go off at tangents.

Mercy · 09/07/2006 17:06

poisson, it sounds as though you live in pretty ideal location!

I do let my dd (5.3) play unsupervised in the back garden or in the rest of the house, whether she is alone or with friends. I also have a 2 year old so the house and garden have to be child safe/friendly still - plus he's always following dd around, copying her, trying to join in her games etc, so I to tend to 'hover' a fair bit anyway.

dd is sensible on the whole - but she does get up to some bizarre things at times (see my post on the 'no nice toys thread' for example!)

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 17:06

quite an achievement for a thread killer like me

OP posts:
poisson · 09/07/2006 17:16

no its just i ahet threads where poepl e are guestimatign what they do ina situation they havent espreinced
pointless

LIke " should i get my hair vut"
or " am i pgregnatn" id otn effin KNOW

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 17:39

Yes but that's because you are a judger, cod - and I don't mean that negatively - but you like solid facts and making a decision - it makes you the sort of person who makes a good magistrate.

But some of us like to speculate and philosophise you know.

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 17:41

Mercy I just wondered what you thought your 5 yr old would get up to out on the street, that she wouldn't in your house or garden? You've already said you know there are not paedophiles lurking, so what is it that bothers you?

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 17:53

I agree F&Z

Sometimes talking to other makes me see other perceptions. I have changed my mind so many times during this thread, did i or didnt i do the right thing. Well TBH Ive do it now and recieved no hassle for it, not that it would have bothered me or stopped me, I know i did the right thing.
Just sometimes i do get a bit righteous tho, I have loved reading other peoples view and would never dis anyones opinion.
This site is an opportunity to talk to so many people, nobody should ever feel restricited. If your brave enough to join in then good, you might put something worth reading Some people dont get the opportunity to speak there minds elsewhere, not because they are at home with the kids but maybe because they are not able to in work whatever the environment they are in. They may enjoy a good chat about nothing an particular, or talk about something they feel strongly about. Non of us should judge. If the thread isnt your cup of tea then there are hundreds of others. (not having a go at anyone BTW)

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2006 17:55

Oh go on, be a devil, have a go at someone

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 18:02

I wouldnt, I might turn green and bust out of me pants

OP posts:
Mercy · 09/07/2006 18:23

Franny, we live in a street in London which has a fair bit of traffic, it's one way and many drivers go too fast, we live right by the crossing area too. The house is also situated near an alleyway and we do do get some less than desirable characters hanging around from time to time. So that's it from a safety aspect. Plus there aren't many young children in our street and I doubt she would know exactly where the familiar adults live, if something untoward did happen.

Anyway, you have been proved right because she has just been stung by a bee in the back garden - and I was sitting about 3 feet away talking to her at the time.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 18:42

Bloody Bee's, you spend your time tellin your kids bee's are ok.............they do good making honet etc etc.......... then some flippin kamkazee bee just has to go and undermine you.

Poor little chick

OP posts:
bouncyball · 09/07/2006 18:45

I do find this an interesting discussion and am thinking from the point of view of a judger as I too like facts and black and white decisions but respect that only we know our children best of all. I still believe however that when leaving young children to make sensible safety judgements you are making a huge gamble. What if 99 times out of 100 they make a good one but once they make a bad one!! Isn't the potential consequence too serious to make giving young children more freedom too risky? Could I live with my child under a car because she fell off her bike into the path of a car. Not messing around, following my play outside rules but cought a crack in the pavement and fell off. Would the fact that she was sensible and 99 times played safely console me when she had gone? Some of you may well think this is me being a drama queen but there are some of us out there that have waking nightmares about this type of scenario (whether we want to or not). I do take your point that a parent watching the child from a window could not have stopped him from hitting the car. Again its about whether or not it was safe to let him out there in the first place and I say NO!
Also how do you know where peadophiles live? Isn't that the point of Sara's law? But thats a whole new thread about childrens rights to safety against a criminals right to rehabilitation and a new life!

Mercy · 09/07/2006 18:51

Yes, I know just what you mean She's usually quite interested in bees, "mini-beasts" etc but I doubt she will be now.

It just appeared from nowhere and suddenly attached itself to her ear. I tried to swipe it off with my hand and ended up almost rugby tackling her into the kitchen whilst bellowing "get off, get" at the top my voice. I was just scared because I get a bad reaction to insect bites.

She's ok now though, she's having an ice-cream which has miraculously cured it the pain!

Cam · 09/07/2006 18:57

Sorry F&Z, given the circumstances of this situation, those parents are 100% to blame for the 6 year old's accident.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 09/07/2006 19:18

Definately Cam, but I bet when and not if it goes to court the poor van driver gets an ear bashin

OP posts:
mammaduck · 09/07/2006 19:32

Agree all adults have a duty to look out for all children when they're in a public place.

But you can't reasonably expect people to be able to look out for children left home alone. For one thing, how the hell are we supposed to know they're in there?

I think leaving children alone for a Macdonald's is absolutely unforgivable. Getting a disgusting burger is never ever ever a good reason to leave your children in danger. What planet are these people on?

I would definitely be onto the police, SS and have no qualms about it. That is what community spirit is about. Making sure kids aren't in danger.