Cna I just share this with whoever is interested, I cant believe what ive just seen, am sooooo **** off

[stoppinattwo]

Sorry to rant but here goes........

Was putting DD to bed earlier when I heard a van screech to a halt outside. looked out and saw the van and a bike lying on the floor. Ran outside and found a little boy (6) had been knocked off his bike on the main road outside. It didnt look to serious, his leg was quite badly scraped and few bumps and bruises. Carried him to his parent house 4 doors along and there was nobody in.I phoned an ambulance etc the little boy by this time was hysterical.

His mother and father turned up about 10 minutes later, they had both been out (at McDonalds .....please ) both got angry at each other and started to blame each other........... sorry if this is too surreal. poor van driver doesnt know what to do, poor child is still hysterical as he can now see what he has done to himself. These people have three other children who were all in the house alone, all younger than this lad. Ambulance arrives and little boy is taken with mum to the hospital. Notice she is expecting another. I try not to judge, people have problems and people have priorities but I could have been lifting a dead child from off that road and I feel like shaking that mother so hard I just dont know what to do.
The poor van driver was shaking soo hard i didnt know what to say to him for the best. The boy had ridden out of the drive way straight into his path and he had tried to stop.
If i see this boys mother or father its going to be so hard to keep my mouth shut.

Sorry to rant, I just need to calm down a bit

Stitch, I havent yelled at her yet, I feel like doing a lot more, this has been building up for a while, i have tried not to judge her. Noticed also yesterday that she is expecting another. She does not look after the children she has, I know she needs help, the kids father is a violent man towards her and i think she's in a situation where someone in authority needs to step in and tale control. I have offered her help in the past, last night i offered to let the other children stay with me until she came back from the hospital. When her partner battered all kinds out of her two months ago i told her to come to my house if ever she felt threatened (he doesnt bother me he's just a bully). She is a weak person and that is why im keeping a lid on my temper, it wouldnt solve anything but she needs to be taking responsibility and if she cant then SS will. Those children are beautiful and they dont deserve this

I think your posts on here are great stitch.
I wish more of us thought that kids in the neighbourhood are the responsibility of the whole community as well as the parents. It makes good sense for everyone.

Sadly I feel we've lost this sense of community and we all suffer for that fact.

Stitch how can you say this situation is no different to yours, two parents went of to get a burger (why couldn't one go), left four under sixes home alone resulting in one getting knocked off his bike. Community spirit IMO is making sure enough is done to make sure these parents are able to parent their kids in a way that doesn't endanger them, I simply wouldn't have enough experience as a neighbour to shoulder this burden alone. The authorities are there for a reason and in a case like this its quite clear they need to be involved.

stoppinattwo, i wsnt saying about you. more a general sort of thing about the people on here who were judging the woman.
im glad for her that you are being a good neighbour . one of the things i learnt is that the situation doesnt change unless we change it.. you are doing all you can for this woman, and need to continue to do so.
mks, the authorities do need to be involved, but that doesnt mean the community can turn a blind eye. they also have some responsibilyt and stopin is doing what she can.

spidey, i think youre lovely too.

I agree with you Fox.
Well done stoppinattwo for reporting the incident to SS.
I feel you have done your duty and that now the professionals can take over. I don't think you should get personally involved with the family as you won't get thanked for it and may end up getting a mouth full for interfering.
This family obviously has problems and they need help. I don't think popping off to McDonalds was an essential trip out leaving small children at home alone. The law is the law and everyone should try to stick to it as much as they can.
I don't like judging people but can't help thinking that these people think it is ok to go off whatever... They are so lucky their child was not killed or seriously injured. How would they live with the guilt?

Stitch thanks 4 that. I do agree, I love the community feeling. Am currently entertaining 5 kids in the house (2 are mine) DP thinks my neighbours/ friends take the piss cos their kids are always in our house. My philosophy is a house full of kids is fab, if someone else gets a 5 minute break thats a bonus. I know where my kids are, i know what they are doing, and as they get older their freinds will continue to come around and see this place as a second home.

I will always offer help where i can and i think that gradually rubs off on others. My next door neighbour has two boys bout the same age as my two. She looked at me like i had two heads when 6months after moving in i took a couple of fence panels out so the kids could share the gardens (my fence ) now she loves it and the kids have a ball. I also wish that people were more thoughtful without agendas and suspicions, a lot of things can be solved without involvement of authority.

I think last night was a little too closefor comfort tho. it really upset me later when thinks had quietened down and i reflected on what had happened

'children under the age of five are community responsibility' that is the most bullshit comment I have ever read. What a cop out - that just means I can fuck off out whenever I like and leave my dd home alone on the basis that the community will keep an eye out. Yeah right.

a child under the age of about 10 being left alone in the house is a cause to inform social services. i child of 6 who has younger siblings alos at home alone is definatly a case for social services and if one of those chidlren has been in a road accident whilst left alone then the family will NEED investigating straight away.

the hospital will probably inform social services when they hear what has happened anyway but i would also make sure that you have the van drivers details.
if the parents are as terrible as they sound they may well try and screw the driver for compensation and he will need your support of it comes to a court case.

do please get in touch with SS as at the very least these people need to know that their behaviour is unaccetpable and wil not be tolerated by the authorities.

Have spoke to SS earlier FM. I also know where the Van driver lives. Poor chap was so upset. I will call at his in a couple of days. SS have said they will visit the family

Stoppinattwo - I would do what you are doing in the same situation. And how awful to have to cope with something like this (totally avoidable) accident. Think you're one of lifes good people.

Callisto - Right with you!

Just spoken to the little boys Aunty. He has a fractured leg and lots of bumps n bruises. He's home and mum is fussing around. SS have already been out to see them!! and will be making regular visits to ensure that she is providing good care for them. She is making a big fuss of him which is lovely. I dont fell quite so cross anymore.

Went and gave my DC's big hugs too cos they saw it also last night and were both quite shocked by what had happened and had loads of questions. DD was so concerned, been a big lesson to them also, to see first hand what can happen if you dont watch the road........ dont think its something they will ever forget

Thanks for your kind words Callisto, hope i only did what others would do. Do believe that good deeds and favours rub off on others just as much as negative stuff so the more good you can do the better..

Sounds good. Well done SA2. You handled that well and hopefully things will improve for that family.

Thanks Reece

just because i think that children under five should be watched out for by everyone doesnt mean that the parents dont have full responsibility.
if i see a ten year old walking down the road on hisown, i wont bat an eyelid but a four year old, walking down the same road on their own, and i will stop what i am doing to make sure there is a responsible person around.

atitudes such as those expressed by some on this thread are the reason for the breakdown of community. just because you get no thanks from the parent, or an earful, doesnt mean you are allowed to ignore a child in need.
well done stopin, it would be great if more people were like you.

Sorry you got a bashin stitch , I understand where your coming from,

think everyone means well, It is a very strong subject where everyone means the same thing but says it in different ways, I know we all mean well and would all have probably done the same thing as i had to do given the situation.

i have a thick skin

Stitch you were obviously referring to me in your post regarding "... no excuse to ignore a child in need...".

I in no way said that I would ignore the child. You have misread me on this. I believe that this situation has been handled well by SAT and I sincerely hope that the poor child gets well soon and the family get the support they need to sort through their problems.

SAT you are right - this is a strong subject and we all express our thoughts in different ways.

Sorry if you think you have been given a hard time on this Stitch but we can all express our opinions etc. and no-one should get too upset about it.

We don't know each other, each other experiences, personalities etc. I am sure you are a good person and it's great that you would get involved to the extent you have mentioned in order to help another. I am just different to you on this occasion. That doesn't make me a bad person...

Stich,

at first I misunderstood the meaning of your first post about community responsibility. Now I understand where you are coming from I really do agree with you. I have never been a person who simply thinks 'I'm not getting involved' or 'someone else will do something/notice and I get a lot of stick for it but I,like you couldn't give a tuppenny-shite because if everyone had the 'not my problem mate' attitude this world would be a truely horrid place to live in.

I do think your OP seemed to suggest that this incident was not serious enough to report to the police and that a visit from the heath visitor would be sufficiant. I would have phoned social services like stoppinattwo did as this incident was too serious not to and this family ovbiously need close monitoring to ensure the welfare of these children.

I think you are perfectly right though when you say the repsonsibility does not lie solely with ss but I would be cautious when approaching this family if I did not already have some contact with them.

Hope that made sense!

Fingers crossed the accident will shake them up a bit and make them realise they can't leave the kids at home while they saunter off for a Big Mac, FGS.

Think you've done the right thing, Stop, esp. as there is existing SS involvement. And Stitch is right that we all have a community responsibility to children. From stopping a child you see running out into the road to calling SS if you think parents really aren't looking after their family.

think you have hit the nail on the head edam!!!!!!!

We have had some interesting threads on this sort of thing lately. I don't personally think there's anything inherently wrong with letting a 6 year old out to play if your area is safe enough. In fact, I think there's something inherently wrong with not letting a 6 year old out to play.

So glad to hear that kids do still play out - when we were trying to decide which house to buy one thing that swung it was the number of kids out playing - we do have the benefit of being in a cul-de-sac and the hill is quite steep, which helps as the traffic has to slow down to turn into the street. The kids out there (6 to teenage) cause no trouble, and most importantly respect the fact it IS a road. Parents, if you read this and want to keep your neighbours happy, make sure your kids know to respect the road users - a few new kids turned up who seem to like standing in the road in front of your car so they can move at the last minute - if they were mine they'd be hauled in and bawled out! But seriously, nothing can beat the feeling of knowing that the kids are playing and doing what they should - we got to know so many neighbours because of the kids, and we end up socialising because of that.

You are lucky Housemum, wish our road wasnt quite soo busy. Its a bus route as well as being outside a secondary school, so apart from all the, sometimes thoughtless parking we have buses and larger vehicles driving past. But we do have the benefit of a large front and back garden.

We bought this house just over a year ago because of the space and the garden, out children do play out but only in tha gardens. They have children living either side and they are allowed to go and knock for them (my two are 7 & 4)

Im sad that they dont have as much freedom as I had but I try and compensate with providing them with the home they have. Their friends are always here. I do feel they miss out on the freedom that we had as children but I do also think we look back at those times through tinted specs and plenty of things could have been avoided with a little less freedom.

Maybe i am overprotective, if I am then its something Im glad to be guilty of (doing a little self analysis here ), our children are not children for long on the grand scheme of things, and it wont be long before they are telling me to leave them alone and stop cramping their style. So until then i intend to be as intefering and protective as i can.

Hi, was horrified to read your thread and agree with SS involvement. I too am overprotective mother (if you are too!) and am glad to be so. There was an interesting discussion in parenting about why we can't leave children alone and how 3/4 yr olds can be responsible for themselves (within reason). I disagreed and I think this thread proves that. I'm sure this little chap didn't mean to go infront of a car but it illustrates the consequences when children make an error of judgement. Lucky escape I think!