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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Dummies - Opinions

67 replies

vbab78 · 30/06/2006 17:35

Have any of you ladies got any opinions on dummies? It's just that my baby constantly is rooting around like he is hungry, when I know he isn't, chewing his hand and screaming beyond belief when he can't get his hand to his mouth. He will quieten down so you think he is resting or asleep then in the next breath try and scream the place down. This is worse at night.

I think he is trying to use his hand as a comfort, me and DH are at the end of our tether and considering using a dummy to see if it sorts it despite the fact we said he would never have one.

DS is 12 days old and this is our first child. Please help.

HELP!

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swifterella · 01/04/2007 08:18

god there is sooooooo much snobbery about dummies! When i was preggers i was like there is no way my baby will have one! He was a 10lb baby,incredibly sucky and after 2 weeks he had one. I used it to extend the time between feeds as he was sucking me dry and now at 18 mnths he has it for his sleep.

I do cringe when i see toddlers running around talking with them in.

indiajane · 01/04/2007 08:20

Thumbsucking is far worse IMO. I refused to give my DD2 a dummy and she still sucks her thumb despite my trying EVERYTHING (she's 6). My DS has a dummy which works wonders and at least I can get rid of it when the time is right.

Ceebee74 · 01/04/2007 09:13

Have to agree with most of these.

DS (8.5mo) has a dummy for sleeping only - it is quite a powerful sleeping cue for him and I take it out once he is asleep (if it hasn't already fallen out), He is not addicted to it - if we leave one lying around, he will pick it up and put it in his mouth (naturally) but he doesn't cry for one if he doesn't have one.

Was ambivalent about them before he was born - my sisters 3 children had them permanently in which I really didn't want to do - but bought them just in case and started using them at about 2 weeks as it really helped DS calm down and drift off to sleep. IMO sucking is a natural instinct for babies so why deprive them of the opportunity to do it?

Also, my colleague keeps telling me how lucky I am because DS has slept through from a very early age, is no trouble etc - her 2 children were nightmare sleepers, wouldn't settle etc but she hates dummies so absolutely refused to use them - coincidence maybe but I know which baby I would prefer to have - a settled one with a dummy!! I also work with someone else who had the baby from hell but again refused to use a dummy!! Who know what difference it would have made eh?

CoteDAzur · 01/04/2007 09:50

Agreed with most here. DD was an extremely sucky baby who took to the dummy like her best friend. Now she is 18 months and has dummy only in bed. We made a game out of it - I pick her up when she is awake, and she throws it into the bed.

Our experience with dummies has been very positive re the comfort it provides especially in the very early months.

nocluemom - re selection of dummies: Get dummies that are flat on one side (rather than all round), as these best mimic the tip of the breast when it is flattened against the roof of baby's mouth.

3easterbunniesandnomore · 01/04/2007 10:07

All mine had/have (ys still has his) dummies...!
I always felt it's easier to remove a dummie then a thumb, and know of so many older Kids that still thumbsuck, but most Kids get rid off their dummy by about 3 the latest!

BeckleSpeckledEgg · 01/04/2007 14:03

I always said never to dummies but both DSs had them by the time they were a week old but only for sleep and comfort. I BF both and it didn't seem to interfere. DS1 gave his up at 5 months when he had a nasty cold and couldn't use it due to blocked nose. DS2 kept his until he was 3.5 (when the fairy came for it) but after 6 months old he only had it for sleep as I too hate to see toddlers walking round with dummies in.

IMHO, if it might give your little DS some comfort (and you a little peace) then why not try it?

Justaboutmanaging · 01/04/2007 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bitzermaloney · 01/04/2007 16:50

Ds (now 8 months) had a dummy for sleeping from about 6 weeks old till 6 months and it really soothed him. He had silent reflux and I was advised that sucking might make him more comfortable (something to do with increasing saliva production and neutralising stomach acid...?). I resisted giving the dummy till 6 weeks as I didn't feel bfing was really sorted till then. I used to take it away once he was asleep and didn't find that he woke looking for it. At Christmas his great-granny gave him a cuddly bunny that he really took to, and he now has that in bed instead, and sucks its ears. Not sure if that's better or worse than a dummy .

cathcart · 01/04/2007 17:02

It will get better vbab, mine was exactly the same, after 4 wks I gave into my own dummy snobbery and bought 1, which dd promptly spat out in disgust! However she is now 8wks and although she generally bf's to sleep she no longer uses me as a human dummy. It is worth a try, perhaps just at night time. good luck!

herbgarden · 01/04/2007 20:39

Go for it with a dummy. It saved our first 12 weeks. Our ds managed to settle for naps and sleeps (we needed to assist it in and out but hey) - I took it away after 12 weeks and he doesn't have it at all now. I was adamant no dummy from the start but boy did I change my mind when he wouldn't settle at all. Do what you feel is right but don't worry about it becoming an addiction - they can give it up.

cheritongirl · 02/04/2007 10:10

my ds is 4.5 months and has a dummy to get to sleep sometimes but not all the time. I really didn't want to use one and have to admit that i sometimes hate it as i know it will be hard to wean him off it whne he is v stressy but it does REALLY settle him then and he goes out like a light with one.
And yes, he does spit it out if he wants feeding and has done ever since he first had it (at about a week old).
all the best to you and try not to feel guilty whatever you decide!

kslatts · 02/04/2007 11:19

We never gave our 2 dd's dummies. Dd2 started sucking her fingers instead, and still does at 5.

dejags · 02/04/2007 11:23

Love em.

Both DS's were very sucky and would not settle.

Before DS1 was born I was a terrible dummy snob. This lasted all of a week after he was born. He gave up the dummy without any problem. DS2 knows that when his current dummy reaches "end of life" then he will be giving up his dummies and I am not foreseeing any problems with him either.

Both DS1 and DS2 only had the dummy when they needed settling (when tiny) and at bedtime and sometimes in the car.

I still loathe the sight of a three year old walking around with a dummy in his/her mouth.

Tanee58 · 02/04/2007 11:28

If you're desperate / tired / sore & your baby's obviously not hungry, try a dummy by all means - there's no reason why your baby should still be using it as a toddler. My dd was very sucky & would feed for an hour - it was weeks & weeks before the healthvisitor showed me that I could actually break the suction without causing her distress. She didn't take to a dummy so I was stuck with the 'boop' syndrome. She never showed any inclination to suck fingers, either.

Personally, my mother avoided a dummy for me (despite her best friend suggesting that a dummy filled with a tablespoon of orange juice and whiskey worked a treat with her sons!!!!!)

As a result, I sucked my index and middle finger and twiddled my hair in secret until I was about 15!! Is that a record? Despite threats of crooked teeth from my mother and attempts to stop with bitter aloes, my mouth turned out ok, and you know, I rather miss the sense of extreme comfort I used to get from it...

warthog · 02/04/2007 13:30

i was in the same position as you. i ended up b/f ALL the time even though dd wasn't sucking. she'd do fake chin waggles and i know she wasn't getting anything because she wasn't swallowing.

my mum came round and basically nagged us until we gave her a dummy. never looked back. i limited it though to only times she 'asked' for it, not all day and pretty soon it was just for sleeping.

when dd was a year old, she got a cold and couldn't breathe through her nose for 2 weeks. she has refused her dummy ever since so we threw them away.

i think it's better to suck on a dummy than a thumb tbh.

foxymagoo · 02/04/2007 13:34

ds had dummy from 3rd day (wouldn't settle after - cue us sterilising the dummy middle of night) to 3 weeks but we went 'cold turkey' as (a) I had to lie awake during the night keeping it in his mouth and (b) I found I was using it more and more during the day whenever he seemd unsettled.

It was the best decision we ever made. It only took onw night and he had forgotten all about it and he has been a really good sleeper ever since and happy and content during the day. I think the more you use a dummy the LESS a baby is content which defeats the purpose of them IMO.

I still suck my thumb - have done since I was a baby and i'm now 35. My sister does too (38!). and our teeth are fine.

MadamePlatypus · 02/04/2007 18:48

DS didn't really have a dummy - he was happy as long as he had a boob in his mouth. We tried one at about 8 weeks because I got fed up with the constant breast feeding, but as it kept falling out we never really used it much.

DD was a completely different story. She wanted to suck, but would also cry and cry in the first couple of weeks and feeding wouldn't console her. Eventually we got a dummy and it worked like magic. Once she was able to suck her fingers without them dropping out (3.5 months?) she gave it up. We used orthodontic dummies, which I think become less satisfying as the baby grows bigger (they seem to be the only ones with an age range?) so its not too difficult just not to progress up to the next stage.

I DID find that it made breast feeding more difficult. If she had been chomping away for a while on a dummy she would temporarily use the wrong action for feeding. However, perhaps because I had successfully bf no. 1, this didn't worry me too much - if this had been my first baby this might have thrown me a bit. Anyway I would say definitely try it - it transformed the baby stage for me, and its not difficult to give them up once they get past the new born "I want to be back in my mummy's tummy" stage if thats what you want to do.

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