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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Dummies - Opinions

67 replies

vbab78 · 30/06/2006 17:35

Have any of you ladies got any opinions on dummies? It's just that my baby constantly is rooting around like he is hungry, when I know he isn't, chewing his hand and screaming beyond belief when he can't get his hand to his mouth. He will quieten down so you think he is resting or asleep then in the next breath try and scream the place down. This is worse at night.

I think he is trying to use his hand as a comfort, me and DH are at the end of our tether and considering using a dummy to see if it sorts it despite the fact we said he would never have one.

DS is 12 days old and this is our first child. Please help.

HELP!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

bozzy · 03/07/2006 09:54

Both DS and DD had a dummy and I was breastfeeding and it didn't interfere - the secret is when possible start limiting to sleep time only - especially once they are able to start sucking their fingers - it was great for my first baby - it was a cue for him to sleep - I was out and about quite a lot and as soon as I gave him his dummy he knew it was sleep time. As they start getting older, let them have it to go to sleep and then take it away - it worked with my first but I have to admit my daughter (8 months) relies on her dummy a lot more - i'm going to have to cold turkey her soon....

AdelaideS · 03/07/2006 10:16

Love 'em....humans have always given their young things to suck (...a dry bone, rag dipped in gin!).
Don't care what they look like, don't care what people think. Ds had one 'til he gave it up himself at 5.5 (sorry if you've heard that before, it's my own perverse boast) and he is as healthy, bright and articulate as any others in his class.
(More so actually, he's a genius, and handsome too,and all because he had unlimited dummy use!)

Rookiemum · 03/07/2006 12:44

We ended up using them in desperation as had to give up BF due to problems and DS used to sucking for hours so wasn't feeding properly and woke up just about all night.

It really helped and also helped to space out his feeds, although 12 days might be too early to start trying that.

HV said to take out dummy once he got to sleep as apparently risk of cot death if you leave it in sometimes but not other times, ( though it seems to me that HV say that just about everything could be a cause of Cot death these days) but difficult to judge as sometimes DS would appear to be sound asleep but then start yelling when I prised it out.

At about 7 weeks i noticed that he wasn't crying as much so stopped using dummy. Didn't seem to notice it was gone and discovered fingers, which oh joy, cannot fall out and need replacing by parents.

I'd say go for it but use the dummy carefully and see if you can get away with removing it before he hits the magic age 3-4mths I think when it becomes a habit.

homemama · 03/07/2006 15:34

Dummy snobbery really makes me cross as the assumption seems to be that if you give your baby a dummy then you're using it as a way to avoid having to communicate with your baby or see to their needs.

We didn't start off with a dummy but DS was extremely sucky and if I hadn't given him a dummy, I know I would have given up BF as he was back on the breast every half hour even at 6wks.

By the time he was 3mths it was relegated to being a sleep cue and we got rid of it without too much fuss (1 nap+1 evening of 20mins crying for it) when he was 1yr old.

It did not interfere with BF at all. Neither has it afected his teeth or his speech.

We're about to have another baby and will have one ready just in case. We won't just offer it, but wait to see if this baby needs it.

It's interesting as we were discussing this at toddler group last week and a few mums seemed shocked that DS had had a dummy as they'd never seen it and had pre-conceived ideas about what 'dummy mummies' looked and behaved like. TBH, I think a 3yr old attempting to speak without taking it out is awful, but thankfully rare. Most people use one responsibly in response to their baby's needs.

If you feel your baby needs one or would benefit from having one then go for it. There's far worse parenting decisions you could make like taking your newborn out this lunchtime without a hat on (as I saw earlier) But that's another thread. Good luck.

Amiable · 03/07/2006 15:47

Our dd is very sucky and loves her dummy when she is settling down to sleep, or wants soothing, but she is also very clear when she doesn't want it too - ie, it will only keep her quiet for a very short while when she is hungry - as soon as she realises there is no milk she spits it out and yells at me to feed her She is now 4 months and we've been using it since she was a couple of weeks old. I guess gradually we will introduce the "rule" that it is only for sleep or nap time but at the moment I'm just really happy she is happy.

nicnack2 · 03/07/2006 15:50

ds1 didnt have a dummy at all. ds2 has had dummy as he is a sucky baby, occasionally to settle if i have counted all other things out. now 4 months hardly has it at all (only if i am busy with other ds and ds2 is crying)

spidermama · 03/07/2006 16:15

I don't like them. I won't elaborate as experience tells me I'll be roasted at the mumsnet spit if I do.

madame · 29/03/2007 20:06

I have an 18month old DD and she loves her dummie, she has it in the car,to go to sleep and when she is really tired and cranky.

I am not sure when and how to get rid of the dummie.....Any thoughts or advice please

adath · 29/03/2007 20:12

Personally at 12 days I would be putting baby on the boob rather than a dummy because even the comfort sucking can be a fantastic help for your supply.
At this age you really don't know if it is hunger or not and really you don't want to mess with that.

and I am most definately not anti dummy both of mune have had them and been bf but not until they were a good few weeks old, in fact they were both about 6 weeks.

Kelly1978 · 29/03/2007 20:16

I don;t really like them. dd had one for 6 weeks, ds had one for about a year. I don't really like seeing them, but they do work wonders for some babies. I was desperate for the twins to take them, and they wouldn't. I do think they are only really a good thing with small babies, otherwise they jsut either cry with them in their mouths, or they are crying for them, so they don;t really help.
Will he chew on a muslin instead? My dts loved these, and then progressed onto blankets, which isn't quite so bad, as they don't tend to lose them in the middle of the night. Though it is embarassing when dt1 keeps shouting bwank, bwank in the supermarket - I've had some funny looks!

themaskedpoEAster · 29/03/2007 20:20

dd had a dummy (well several really) for sleeping and has just given them up about a month ago.

She was 2.8 and I was expecting a long drawn out battle as she adored her dummies.... however, I suggested one evening (after mentioning the subject occasionally over a couple of days) that only BABIES have dummies - and wouldn't it be nice of her (being a big girl) to give her dummies to the babies?

'Yes' - she said, 'give them to the little babies'

and she hasn't had them since!

suzycreamcheese · 29/03/2007 20:24

didnt use one, well ds i mean!...
ds found his own little toy to cuddle and bite and bite on..but that was at 6 months..

try a cool / cold teething ring maybe if you are not keen on dummy or dummy at nap times only ....

madame · 29/03/2007 20:52

Thanks everyone for your thoughts

rarrie · 30/03/2007 20:46

If your baby is upset, and is soothed by a dummy, then I would give one.

Your choice is this, give your child a dummy because he gets comfort from it or deprive your child of that comfort because you/others are being snobby about the aesthetics of it? Personally, I think the second option is very selfish. If a dummy calms your child, then why not?

My children have both had dummies (from days old) but once they got to 3/4 months, they were only used for sleeping, and once they got to 18 months, it was only at night time - so my eldest was never seen with it, and she happily gave it up at 2 3/4.

One tip though, once they fall asleep, if they don't spit the dummy out, remove it from their mouths - that way, he won't wake up for it in the middle of the night!
HTH

christywhisty · 30/03/2007 21:28

My son had one as a baby and only at night as a toddler. He gave it up really easily we just didn't replace them when they were lost.

Daughter was a thumbsucker from the moment she was born. She is 9 and still sucks her thumb when she is tired or in her sleep.

MeAndMyMonkey · 30/03/2007 22:24

Godsend I'm afraid, for my 4 month old dd. I agree with Amiable's post... are you sure you don't have my baby?

Tillyboo · 30/03/2007 22:37

Some people eat choc as a comfort
Some people have a fag
Some people have a drink etc.

I don't like dummies but my dd had one until she was 2.5 (at night time only until the dummy fairies took them away).
My opinion is that a child has the same right to a soother, whether it be a dummy, blanket or thumb, as a parent has to any of the above if it comforts and soothes.
At least with a dummy it can be taken away, a thumb is there for life. I worked with a 25 year old who still sucked her thumb at her desk when she was stressed, tired or bored. I also know of a mum who has to sit with her toddler with her finger wedged firmly it it's mouth until the child goes to sleep - certainly not ideal !

Try the dummy, it'll probably be a godsend if your little once accepts it.

TwinklemEGGan · 30/03/2007 22:47

Our experience was as follows:
I was adamantly against dummies, DH was ambivalent. From an early age DS would have times when he would scream, and I mean SCREAM, until he went beetroot red - particularly during nappy changes and such like. In desperation we tried a dummy to sooth him and it really did work. We used it just to calm him down and then took it away again. We never put him to bed with one, although I did occasionally use it to sooth him and then remove it when he was getting really sleepy. Once he found his thumb he really didn't need a dummy any more. He's now 8 months and I would say we haven't used one for 4 months - he doesn't really suck his thumb either.

So to summarise - very useful even just for very short periods of time and it needn't lead to a dependency.

Oblomov · 30/03/2007 22:50

Hate them. Luckily ds totally not interested. But appreciate that lots of people do use them.

Hate them on toddlers even more - make me feel ill.

TwinklemEGGan · 30/03/2007 22:57

I have to say I really hate seeing babies or especially toddlers with them in all the time. My SIL's DS had one almost round the clock and it has interfered with his speech development. And I saw a child the other day - must have been about 5 - and he still had a dummy.

christywhisty · 30/03/2007 23:28

I have never liked toddlers with dummies, however a little 5 year old on our estate was often seen with a dummy, but her mother had died that year, so I think she had good reason to need it.

TwinklemEGGan · 30/03/2007 23:30

Yes, it is dangerous to make judgements I know. I do try not to, honest.

WilkieBarEasterEgg · 01/04/2007 07:25

Have skim read thread but in answer to OP.

I was such a dummy snob before I had my LO (11 weeks old) but within 3 days he was so sucky that I tried one out of desperation and although it took him a few goes to get the hang of it he now uses it well.

I always take it out of his mouth once he has calmed down and likewise try not to give him his dummy when out in the buggy as motion soothes him better than the dummy (and nothing worse than peering into a pram to see a huge dummy stuck in a babies mouth IMO).

Don't stress about using them, if it makes life that little bit easier then go for it - it is hard enough being a new mum!!! You can soon wean them off them when they are ready.

nocluemum · 01/04/2007 07:29

I am 34 weeks pregnant and thinking of buying some dummies just in case I need them, what sort should I get there. Keep going into the shops and there seem to be millions.....

WilkieBarEasterEgg · 01/04/2007 08:14

I use avent ones - they are clear plastic round the edge. If you are bottle feeing try and get a similar shape to the teat on the bottle. If not, Tommee Tippee do a great completely clear dummy with a soft teat esp for BF babies.

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