Getting to the end of my rope with baby's lack of sleep

[Soontobemama]

My baby is only two months old but is a bad sleeper. I'm really beginning to struggle and am starting to find myself getting angry at him which I'm ashamed of.

He wakes every hour and a half to two hours in the night to feed. I struggle to get back to sleep after and its really taking its toll.

He also doesn't sleep much during the day when at home.

Anytime he does sleep he has to be either nursed or rocked to sleep in his bouncy chair. If you stop rocking he wakes up immediately. He no longer sleeps when being pushed in his pram either.

I'm getting more and more tired and am struggling not to get angry with him. Right now he is on my lap just staring around completely awake. He has been awake since at least 5pm. I've been rocking him and feeding him all evening but he just won't drop off. I'm ashamed to admit but there have been moments tonight where I've wanted to scream at him because I am so bloody exhausted.

What can I do to improve his sleep because I cannot go on like this.

I'm taking breastfeeding multi vits but my diet is awful at the moment I admit.

I felt a lot better yesterday as I went to bed at 9pm and DH looked after him until 1.30. He had his immunisations yesterday too and he actually slept better than ever!

Today I am going to start trying to ensure he gets plenty of naps. We have already implemented a bedtime routine.

Hi there,
I can relate to your tale of exhaustion. DH is away a lot
with work and he needed to sleep so was banished to the spare room (plus his snoring combined with DD's grunting would keep me awake).
I could murder my NCT friends who have offspring that sleep from 7-7.
We had traumatic evenings from wk 1 where DD would scream from 5pm till 11pm and then did the usual 2hr wake ups. I thought it was colic and cluster feeding.
The only time she napped was on afternoon walks in the baby carrier. I instigated walking every day because I would feel very low by 4pm dreading the evenings.
Sadly HVs were pretty useless they recommended every over the counter drop and elixir going. In the end I had to bounce the baby in a baby Bjorn bouncer to keep her from screaming. I saw a cranial osteopath who took one look at DD and said she had reflux. On week 13 we turned a corner- partly gaviscon related, partly developmental, partly the cranial work. She now goes to bed at 7:30 with a small bit of whimpering.
Now the recent problem (19 weeks) is that DD wakes every 90 mins .
You're doing great. I you need some time out can a parent in-law come and rescue you and take you home?

hmmm it sounds like his night time is delayed, basically he's having his night from about midnight till late morning instead of say 8 till 8. So I don't think you can count the morning sleep towards the 4 hours as it's really night sleep. He is supposed to have 12 hours night sleep PLUS 4 hours day sleep... or 10 hours at night plus 6 hours in the day... basically 15-16 hours total sleep in 24 hours. how far off that total do you think he is? if he's a long way off he probably is very overtired.

I think he's way off. I'm going to keep a log today to see exactly how much sleep he is getting.

Thanks so much for the help!

My baby is still only 4 months (sleeping well now) but I remember the first 8 weeks being a nightmare- she wouldn't be put down at all, ever! What helped me:

• swaddle swaddle swaddle! I bought a Summer Infant one with Velcro tabs which was great
• a baby swing- can be a bit pricey but work amazingly well
• a baby carrier

Hang in there it'll get better, and don't feel at all bad about getting exhausted and frustrated, we've all been there.

oh yes and your DH definitely needs to do a shift at some point so you can get a few hours extra sleep - say 5-7am or 9-12pm?

Prop yourself up on a nest of pillows, go bare chested in warm bedroom and have dc on your chest, he can suckle you can sleep... Just watch the pillows cos they're not meant to be near them until 1 yo. Drink loads, if you feel angry like you described..... Put ds in a safe place, walk away, have a cup of tea or some fresh air in the garden.... Then come back to him when you feel calmer. No harm will be done. It got me through those angry moments....

this article ([http://www.parenting.com/article/baby-sleep link]) is quite useful in showing how much sleep at what age. there are lots of similar tables on the web.

I think lots of parents get caught out by overtiredness because newborns just sleep all the time whenever they feel tired, it's at about 4/5 weeks they start needing some help to sleep and I think a lot of parents (me included) don't realise how much sleep they actually still need and end up with an overtired baby.

mini my DCs never needed anything like that much sleep. They weren't overtired, they just weren't tired and they were interested in what was going on around them even from 2-3 weeks post-birth.

My mum reports that we were the same as children, and my brother is currently finding the same with his first baby who is around the same age as the OPs baby.

OP I do feel for you but it does get easier. And your DH needs to take over with the childcare during the day at the weekends so that you can catch up on some sleep and feel human.

My DH has always taken the view that caring for our children was at least as important a job as his is, so he has always done his share of the nightwakings/weekend shifts and evenings.

I should just say that DH does usually do a shift, there were just 2 nights he wasn't able to so the lack of sleep built up.

I've been logging his sleep today and since 8.30 this morning he has had around 3 hours.

Ali mine doesn't need quite that much either... she's always needed about an hour to two hours less than the tables say. So I agree the tables aren't always right. But if a baby is only getting, say, half what the tables say, it's a sign they may well need more.