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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4yo DS won't wear a t shirt in the house

46 replies

Trumpetytrump · 25/09/2013 10:08

Hi mumsnetters, this is my first post!

I just wanted to get a bit of advice really. My soon to be 4 DS is obsessed with just wearing his pants in the house. It was fine in the summer when it was warm but it's getting chilly now and he just won't put a T shirt on. He will wear trousers now, just not a top. Thankfully he knows he has to when we go out somewhere but as soon as we come back he takes the t shirt off again.

The first thing he says in the morning is 'can I go downstairs with just my pants and jeans on please?' It's his first thought in the morning and I'm beginning to think it's becoming a control issue. When I say it's cold and he must wear a t shirt, he starts moaning and sometimes starts crying and stamping his feet. It baffles me as to why it's such a fixation with him.

I was largely ignoring this thinking if he's cold then he'll put some clothes on, but I'm thinking he just needs to do as he's told now.

Anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance!

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christinarossetti · 25/09/2013 10:10

My 4 year old ds is going through something similar at the moment. He's just started school and it's definitely a control issue for him.

I am just going with the flow for the moment. Sometimes he'll drap a shawl or something over himself rather than wear a shirt and I just let him.

valiumredhead · 25/09/2013 10:13

Does it matter? If you're in the UK it's not particularly cold atm. He'll soon out something on when he gets chilly as it gets cooler.

Ds lived in a state of undress and still does tbh 12 years on.

AnythingNotEverything · 25/09/2013 10:16

I have a slightly clothes phobic 13 yo. No neurological issues, but I can only get him to wear a coat if there is snow on the ground. Seriously. I suggested combat trousers the other day and he looked at me like I was crazy.

I would suggest that at home, it's not worth the fight. Maybe you could have a rule that he gets dressed if you have visitors. And when there's hot food. I think as parents we worry a lot about kids being too cold, but he'll let you know if he is!

I'd pick my battles carefully. Some kids are funny with clothes, but try to only force the issue when it really matters.

valiumredhead · 25/09/2013 10:19

Yep, sounds familiar wrt coat wearing.

MingeTheMerciless · 25/09/2013 10:20

I wouldn't worry too much if he knows it's only acceptable in the house even although it would annoy me.

Maybe it's a bit of a sensory thing for him and he just prefers to not have the feeling of clothes on.

If he gets cold enough he will put something warmer on I'm sure.

hettienne · 25/09/2013 10:22

Pick your battles. Does it matter if he doesn't wear a t-shirt at home? If you take the control out of it it won't be a control issue.

5madthings · 25/09/2013 10:24

I wouldn't worry about, my 11, 8 and 5yr olds are frequently in a state of half undressed. They will put clothes on if they are cold.

My two year old likes to be totally naked and would go out naked, she does go out naked in the garden.

Original poster

Trumpetytrump · 25/09/2013 10:48

Thanks so much for your responses. I'm not going to make it an issue. As much as it annoys me I think this is one issue that doesn't need to be a battle. Just needed to get it in perspective. Thanks!

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dadinthehat · 25/09/2013 17:47

Another 'just pants' DS here. He'd rather be naked. I'm saving my energy for battles to come.

We don't have any central heating - that should sort it all out quite soon!

SleepyFish · 25/09/2013 17:54

My DS refuses to wear pants in the house. His preferred state is to be completely naked. As soon as he gets in from school he strips off and gets under the throw on the sofa. He'll get dressed if we have visitors coming round though. Think he's just a bit of a naturist. Pick your battles, he's not doing any harm.

cathpip · 25/09/2013 17:57

My ds as soon as he comes in from school takes his jumper and trousers off, even in mid winter he prefers a t shirt and pants and nothing else. I have just come to the conclusion that if he is cold I will be told and quite frankly there are bigger battles...

PurpleWolfe · 26/09/2013 12:56

DS2 is 7 now and the youngest of my 3. He refuses to wear a coat or a jumper in all weathers! At first I would force him to - cue lots of tears, shouting and sulking from him and me which really didn't set his day at school of in a good way. Then I moved on to shouting, in a very loud way "Oh, DS2, come and put your coat/jumper on, you'll catch your death" which was far more for the benefit of the other parents who were looking on, in the snow, horrified. Now, I hold his coat/jumper and let him get on with it. Still get the odd comment but, tbh, it's not worth the aggro - he'll put clothes on if/when he's cold.

Tigresswoods · 26/09/2013 13:04

Have you seen The Middle? 18 year old Axl is usually in just his pants around the house.

We've just managed to get 3.7yr old DS to start wearing PJs again rather than just pants to bed.

valiumredhead · 26/09/2013 13:11

I have a coat refuser, I've got round it with body warmer type jackets.

Fuzzymum1 · 26/09/2013 22:41

At that age DS2 would treat clothes the way most people treat their shoes. ie he would come in the front door and take off every stitch. He hated clothes. He tolerated them while we were out but at home he was completely starkers 90% of the time. He's 15 now and is usually fully dressed most of the time though he does still sometimes wander abut in just his pants.

PurpleWolfe · 27/09/2013 09:01

Well done you Valium, my DS won't entertain even the hint of a gilet!!

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 27/09/2013 09:02

My four year old doesn't like wearing trousers. In fact naked is his ideal with trousers being his least favourite. He's often to be found pottering around in his pants.

DeWe · 27/09/2013 09:32

My 6yo recently discovered that "men don't have to wear tshirts", so he doesn't whenever he can get away with it. I think he sees it as one over his sisters (although neither of them see it as an issue).

Dd2 was a coat refuser. I used to give her the coice between having the coat on forward or backwards. She quite often chose backwards. Then we had the helpful comments "did you know your dd has her coat on backwards?" Um well, she's 2yo, has only one hand and can't manage zips on the front. How likely is it she's got it on and done it up the back?

CMOTDibbler · 27/09/2013 09:39

My ds would much rather be nude. If he's cold, he'll put something on, but he does like his fleece onesie round the house when cooler. His choice, but pants are mandatory when theres visitors. I don't enforce a coat either

mawbroon · 27/09/2013 09:46

DS1 didn't like clothes much at that age either. Trousers and coats were his pet hates, he would take them off as soon as he possibly could, and we agreed that he could wear shorts instead and carry his coat outdoors in case he changed his mind. He wore shorts all year round until last year when he turned 7yo and confessed that trousers were warmer in the snow.

He expressed dislike of certain clothes from as young as 18months - obviously not verbal, but he howled if I tried to put something on him that he didn't like. The first time I noticed this was with a wee rugby shirt, and still to this day, he still doesn't like collars and buttons.

I really think it's a case of pick your battles.

Original poster

Trumpetytrump · 27/09/2013 21:40

Aren't these boys funny!? It's making me laugh reading your posts. Boys seem to be natural naturists!

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beanandspud · 27/09/2013 22:40

DS hates trousers. As soon as he gets home he changes into shorts and a t-shirt all year round. He's sadly counting down the days until winter uniform at school is enforced. Given the chance he'd wander round in his pants.

I frequently put him in bed wearing jammies and find him naked when I go up later.

MummyPig24 · 28/09/2013 17:09

Ds (5) is a very hot child and rarely wears a coat or jumper. He likes to be in his pants at home. It's fine by me. He hast worn a coat to school yet this term, I take it with me but he has yet to admit he is cold and put it on. I don't force him. I guess he doesn't feel the cold like I do.

brettgirl2 · 28/09/2013 19:01

Look at it on the bright side, it saves on washing

xxxxmrsxxxx · 29/09/2013 23:38

Both of my grandsons (3 & 5) hate wearing clothes. The youngest one quite often says "I'm getting ma-ked now" and strips off. The eldest one doesn't wear anything to bed either. The only rule we make is pants on if we have visitors or if they are out the front of the house. They are absolutely obsessed with their bits as well!!

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