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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4yo DS won't wear a t shirt in the house

46 replies

Trumpetytrump · 25/09/2013 10:08

Hi mumsnetters, this is my first post!

I just wanted to get a bit of advice really. My soon to be 4 DS is obsessed with just wearing his pants in the house. It was fine in the summer when it was warm but it's getting chilly now and he just won't put a T shirt on. He will wear trousers now, just not a top. Thankfully he knows he has to when we go out somewhere but as soon as we come back he takes the t shirt off again.

The first thing he says in the morning is 'can I go downstairs with just my pants and jeans on please?' It's his first thought in the morning and I'm beginning to think it's becoming a control issue. When I say it's cold and he must wear a t shirt, he starts moaning and sometimes starts crying and stamping his feet. It baffles me as to why it's such a fixation with him.

I was largely ignoring this thinking if he's cold then he'll put some clothes on, but I'm thinking he just needs to do as he's told now.

Anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

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Edithmark · 29/09/2013 23:49

My 6yr old DS prefers just to wear shorts with pants underneath, and nothing else..no top or socks or anything. And the shorts have to be the really old ones that have gone all baggy and really soft. Loathes anything else and strips off as soon as he gets home from school. Never see,s to feel the cold and if he does gets a really old fleecy blanket to,put over his shoulders...I think the feel of the fabric is really key..it has to be very soft and with no fastenings or scratchy bits.

mawbroon · 30/09/2013 10:05

DS2 is now at the age that ds1 was when he started refusing to wear many clothes.

As a result, there are next to no hand-me-downs because ds1 wanted to wear the same few things over and over and over again, so they were not fit for passing on!

nappyaddict · 30/09/2013 11:39

mawbroon What is it about buttons he doesn't like? My DS is not keen on buttons either, but I can't understand why as you can't feel the button on the inside of the clothes that actually touches the skin. Unless it's the bit of cotton that's used to sew the button on?

nappyaddict · 30/09/2013 11:39

Also how do you get on with school uniform if he doesn't like collars?

Edithmark · 30/09/2013 11:55

Nappy I think the button thing is because when you bend forward the button is like a big lump in your tummy and the fabric bunches up around it. Also the little things like the cotton where it's sown on really are felt by lots of children I think ESP as they don't tuck their tops in.

With collars, buy polo shirts that are bigger than you really need and she them baggy with all the buttons undone so that the collar can be opened up and spread across the shoulders widely thus not dragging around the neck area. Try and by the ones where the fabric goes soft as you wash it not the dead cheap ones which IME go stiff and crunchy on the collar after a few washes.

Does your school do second hand uniform...often really good for finding very old and soft things.

Edithmark · 30/09/2013 11:57

Sorry masses of typos...trying to cook at the same time.

Should be "wear them baggy"

Flicktheswitch · 30/09/2013 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict · 30/09/2013 12:05

Edithmark Does the lump in your tummy thing happen with buttons on shirts or trousers? Obviously buttons on polos would be ok as they are just at the top?

Edithmark · 30/09/2013 12:12

Buttons on trousers and on pools it's the placket that the buttons are on that's annoying. I think that buttons are the same size on children's clothes as adults so I sort of disproportionally big for their small bodies IYSWIM. So what would be a minor annoyance for us is actually quite uncomfortable for them.

Edithmark · 30/09/2013 12:13

Polos not pools. Flipping ipad has a mind of its own.

nappyaddict · 30/09/2013 13:27

Sorry what is placket?

mawbroon · 30/09/2013 14:49

He's never really been able to explain what it is about buttons.

When he started school, I cut the buttons off his polo shirt (which he didn't like, but he had no choice), but then he realised that nobody else had buttons cut off and peer pressure won him over. He wore completely elasticated trousers until he got too big and he had no option other than button/zip ones.

There is no point in me picking clothes for him from a shop, although saying that, I have a fair idea what he would wear or not.

He wants to be a Lego designer when he's older, because they don't have to wear shirts and ties

Edithmark · 30/09/2013 16:21

The placket as far as I recall from O level needlework (am tres old), is the thicker rectangle of fabric that the buttons are sewn onto, it's doubled up for strength but that makes it bulky, and inside the shirt there will be 'corners' where it meets the rest of the shirt front. These can be itchy and annoying.

ToysRLuv · 30/09/2013 16:42

DS (4) hates buttons on shirts, as well. No particular reason. He also protests if he is presented with new clothes. So annoying, since he is now (slowly) moving to a size up.

afromom · 30/09/2013 16:45

So nice to read that so many people have DS's that strip off as soon as they get through the door. My DS (9) is also like this, I was only saying to DM yesterday I wonder if other people's DC' s do this too. Now I haven't answer.

DS will only ever wear trousers and polo shirt to school also, never a jumper. His teacher gasped out loud one day last week as he walked through the classroom door and said "gosh, I don't think I've ever seen you in a jumper!" He was only wearing it under threat as he had been off with a cold for 2 days!

PedantMarina · 30/09/2013 16:50

'can I go downstairs with just my pants and jeans on please?'

Am I really the first one to comment:

"Well done, OP - your DS sounds really polite!

desperately trying not to mention " 'may' not 'can' "

elliepac · 30/09/2013 17:00

Perfectly normal and you should be grateful he is wearing pants and trousers. DS (10) was a habitual naturist (completely starkers) until he was about 6. We have now graduated to pants with the addition of trousers if people come round. It got to the point where friends would pop in and be surprised if he had clothes on. He still runs in from school, up to his bedroom and strips off....to pants. Which is progress and pleases me.

There are battles to pick and this is not one of them. He will soon put something on if he is cold. DS is a warm soul, sleeps naked and this weekend i had a battle with him to wear trousers not shorts when we went out for the day. I gave in...not a battle worth having. He is old enough to understand that if he gets cold it is his fault.

Coincidentally, DH is 39 and still wanders around in his pants sometimes.

nappyaddict · 02/10/2013 14:49

The placket on school shirts tends to be quite thin doesn't it? Or do I just buy crap quality school shirts!

gourd · 02/10/2013 15:21

Ours too. (3YO DD). Not all the time but sometimes decides she is comfiest in just pants, but this if fine with us - as long as she's not cold. As long as clothes go on for going out or for CMs/playgrups etc that's fine. Think they just grow out of it.

racingheart · 02/10/2013 15:28

DS1 was just the same at that age. Any clothes at all at home was an achievement. Now he has to be unpeeled from duvets and fluffy dressing gowns every morning.

You are so right not to make it into an issue. It's his body. Saying, 'That's fine, you know what to do if you start feeling cold,' is all you need to do.

mummytowillow · 03/10/2013 21:41

My DD is 6 and she loves being naked! She comes home from school and strips, sometimes to her knickers or nothing. I'm not bothered unless visitors turn up

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