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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Honest answers please...can a blind person make as good a mom as a fully sighted one?

69 replies

Skrybal · 24/09/2013 19:56

Hi there...just really would appreciate an answer to the q above??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

wannaBe · 24/09/2013 20:39

the world is full of ignorant people who know nothing. Ignore them - their ignorance has more to do with their own fears and thoughts of inadequacy than anything else.

Fwiw I am blind (completely, since birth) and I challenge anyone to tell me I am not a good parent. I am also a long-time mn'er. pm me if you want to chat. :-)

TheOneWithTheHair · 24/09/2013 20:46

Ok Skrybal I'll be sad that you like Prisoner Cell Block H!

You need some taste!

Original poster

Skrybal · 24/09/2013 20:50

Plus...I can text under the table...without looking! Thank u so much

OP posts:

Patosshades · 24/09/2013 21:15

Well who ever said that to you is a SHIT. Load of old bullcrap. I bet you are no worse and no better than the rest of us trying to get from day to day with our children.

Original poster

Skrybal · 24/09/2013 21:21

I do ok. I never really had an example to learn from growing up, so I kinda had to learn as I went along...all good fun!! Xx

OP posts:

Goldmandra · 24/09/2013 21:49

You're children won't get bullied because their mum is blind. That is a load of rubbish.

Some children get bullied. They are bullied because for some reason a bully has homed in on them and that is far more to do with their social skills and ability to stand up for themselves than anything else. The bully will either pick out an obvious vulnerability or make one up if there is nothing obvious. Therefore, if your children are going to be bullied, your condition may be used against them but it won't be the cause of the bullying. That was going to happen anyway.

Chances are that your children will realise the important things in life early on and any teasing will be water off a duck's back because they are more mature than their peers.

DIYandEatCake · 24/09/2013 22:01

My mum has different disabilities, but ones that needed me to help more round the house and take care not to leave stuff on the floor... She has always been a fantastic mum and I learned empathy and thoughtfulness from a young age, which were good things I'd say.

Chocolatestain · 25/09/2013 00:31

Your kids are learning from a young age to be thoughtful and respectful towards others - that's a great gift that will stand them in good stead for their whole lives. Being a great mother is about love and the attitude we show towards our children, the actual circumstances of our lives are just details that are ultimately fairly irrelevant.
The utter twat who had a go at you sounds like the sort of person who lets her kids behave however they like so as not to quash their self-expression or some such tosh, and is probably just feeling jealous because its dawned on her that they've turned into spoiled brats rather than creative geniuses.

polosareverynice · 25/09/2013 00:39

Tell the other person to fuck the fuck off then fuck off some more. As someone whos disabled you've had to fight to get where you are now no way should they belittle you just a mindless bully imo picking on someone they perceive a lot weaker. I say that as a deaf woman but if anyone ever told me I'm a shit mum cos I'm deaf I would give them the short shrift. Fss raging on your behalf

BrianTheMole · 25/09/2013 00:40

Who said that to you op? Whoever it is, they're prize twat. You don't need someone like that in your life. Fwiw, my sil is registered blind, she's a bloody great mum. Disability isn't the deciding factor as to whether you're a good parent or not.

3littlewomen · 25/09/2013 00:42

DH often complains about FIL 6th sense when he had kids to himself - he is totally blind and was acutely aware as to where him and his siblings were and what they were doing. They also had the joy of growing up with gorgeous guide dogs..

Our DC adore their GD and love him reading Braille to them. It is also very exiting to have your GD take his eyes out at night :-)... Beats teeth anyway!

Your children will have the joy of growing up with empathy and loving you for you. They also have such a positive role model... Hold head high, and ignore

WeAreSeven · 25/09/2013 00:59

So blindness causes your children to be tidy and some twunt thinks that's a problem?? Tidiness is a trait I would love my children to have but sadly they have inherited their untidy streak from me.

There is no-one who is perfectly equipped for parenthood. And I don't think a blind parent is any better or worse than any other parent.

HootsADaisy · 25/09/2013 01:03

People are twunts. Ignore them. Of course you can be as good a mum as anyone else. It might be harder for you, but your DC will never know that. (And you know, only as much harder for you as everything else probably already is...)

namechangeforareasonablereason · 25/09/2013 01:05

re question, immediate ans was YES, then read rest and still yes you will be a great mum

Viasabat · 25/09/2013 01:16

I am blind and so is my DH. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant. We know its not going to be easy, but I could not give a toss what any one else thought of us.

wannaBe · 25/09/2013 01:22

I wish someone had taught my ds that blindness teaches you to be tidy... .

He was only saying to me last night though that it must have been cool to be able to read in the dark.

spamm · 25/09/2013 05:30

Many qualities are a bonus for being a good parent - patience, empathy, telepathy - but they are not physical, and they are not necessary. Of course you can be a great mom! she is talking bollocks!

Original poster

Skrybal · 25/09/2013 07:22

Thank you for all your replies. It was my sister who said it: her ds is the same age as my df, and uncontrollable; he hits bites and swears at his mom. Apparantly that's normal and my.polite, unviolent kids are repressed because of the above reasons!!

OP posts:

Coro · 25/09/2013 07:36

In the nicest possible way, don't be daft!

Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Don't let other peoples small mindedness drag you down.

Coro · 25/09/2013 07:40

Just caught up. She's just jealous and can't work out how you have such a lovely dd. If that's her attitude then things won't improve for her.

Goldmandra · 25/09/2013 07:51

Your sister has to say your children are repressed or damaged in some way because the alternative is admitting that her son's behaviour is unacceptable or her parenting is at fault.

Let her say what she likes. You know that your children are happy, considerate individuals, well equipped to grow up into decent caring human beings.

Believe in yourself because you don't need anyone else to tell you that you are doing a good job.

Chocolatestain · 25/09/2013 09:28

Ah, that makes sense now. She must have very low self esteem and underneath the bravado about her son's behaviour is probably very insecure. But that's absolutely no excuse for using your disability to lash out at you. Any halfway decent person who had genuine concerns about your ability as a parent would be offering support, not abuse.

Your kids sound lovely. You should be very proud of them - and if yourself.

ReallyTired · 25/09/2013 09:37

One of my daughter's close friend's mother is blind. She is a lovely little girl.

The mother has lost her sight quite recently as a result of illness and adjusting to being blind has been emotionally very hard for her. However her six children are all beautifully behaved and charming people. Being blind as not affected the quality of her parenting.

I am in awe of how someone can have six beautifully behaved children whether the mother is sighted or not.

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 25/09/2013 12:16

Which thread is that Exit I would love to read that :)

I am visually impaired but registered blind. Have enough close vision to get me by. My partner is completely blind. I am with my parents at the moment, but this is due to space in our flat and finding a new place, not because we can't cope. My parents go away and I look after my daughter just fine.

My partner is completely blind and I tell you if any person hurt me or my daughter, he'd be at them at a shot. His hearing is very sensitive, so I wouldn't say he can't fight he's bloody strong. But that's not the point.

My daughter is only 6 months old, but I know we'll do perfectly fine. Because we love her, because we learn things off her like she learns things off us, we look up anything we aren't sure about and we have my parents who are great with her and want to help as much as possible.

Whatever asshole said this, needs to get a left upper cut to the jaw, to be honest. As if it's not hard enough trying to prove to yourself, without someone trying to make you feel worse.

PS: Yes, my partner also has a guide dog. In fact, he HAS nicked bread before (and a tiny piece of cake Mum didn't move far enough away from him on a kids table). Oh I love that dog!

If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or ask me for my email. I may be younger than you possibly, but I am willing to chat and talk about things like that, if you'd like to.

Bottom line - IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE!

FCEK · 25/09/2013 12:23

As someone with disabilities myself, I'd say the correct answer is with the right support, yes.

I'm deaf and visually impaired. I couldn't hear dd cry but dh could and I had vibrating alarms around the house so it worked out fine.

But the fear of being a shit mum has always hovered over me

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