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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Getting a baby into cot from sleeping in arms

40 replies

mamabrownbear · 20/08/2013 21:22

My 14week DD is a great sleeper. However, in the evenings she feeds approx 6pm and then falls asleep in my arms. She would pretty much stay asleep if I didn't move. However if I try to put her in the cot or give DH a chance at cuddling her she starts to cry.

She feeds on and off all evening, dozing in between (ah to be a babe!)

Weird thing is, if I feed her and put her in the cot around 10-11pm she goes out like a light! No complaints.

How can I get her to rest in the cot during the evening? I'm stuck in bed breast feeding and watching tv which is nice but I need to start to reclaim my evenings a little, especially as she is sleeping but only ON me it seems, until she is ready for her cot later.

Any advice to get her in the cot earlier on?

OP posts:

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fififrog · 20/08/2013 22:23

Ugh! Nightmare. At least she sleeps though (mine didn't). Wait at least 40mins. Try to lift the arm first to see if it's floppy. Then move incredibly slowly and gently. It usually took two of us to make the transfer. I used to make sure she was well wrapped in a blanket in my arms so the basket didn't feel cold.

incidentally, from about that age we started reducing the time held by a minute every night, until we got stuck at 4 minutes. Then we started putting her down awake. We rocked to sleep rather than fed (not through any idealistic view of how things should be done, she just never really fed to sleep) so things might be a bit different for you!

Murtette · 20/08/2013 22:27

I tried to make sure my DD was facing out when asleep on me (so not all snuggled in which was her favoured position) and then had a warm hot water bottle in her cot so her back went from being cosy on me to cosy on where the hot water bottle had been as then there wasn't such a change of temperature at least.

mamalovebird · 20/08/2013 22:36

My 9 week old does this in the day (goes down fine at night and sleeps well).

I've started putting her down on our bed (surrounded by cushions in case she miraculously rolls over!). Maybe it's our smell on the bed or that it's a bit softer but she's getting the hang of it and I can get an hour before she wakes up again.

I also make sure she had a blanket wrapped round her so there is minimal change in temp when I put her down.

YoniBottsBumgina · 20/08/2013 22:39

It's a phase! I say wait it out and she will outgrow the need for it.

Or what we did was remove one side of the cot, push it up against your bed and co-sleep but you can scoot the baby into the cot if you want to get up or sleep in a different position.

hawkeye21 · 21/08/2013 09:50

The book 'the no cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley describes a way to transfer a sleeping baby from arms to cot. I'm sorry, but I can't give any details as my copy of the book is out on loan. But your library mayhave it.

Original poster

mamabrownbear · 21/08/2013 14:37

Thanks, that book sounds good. I'll ask around as its only the transferring that's a problem. Other than that her sleep is manageable...so far, touch wood!!

OP posts:

lilian3 · 21/08/2013 20:05

I think you just have to be firm if you know she is well fed and comfy, a bit of crying wont hurt, and after a few days i'm sure it will stop. They do learn pretty quickly!!

ExBrightonBell · 21/08/2013 20:32

lilian3, just to be clear, you're suggesting that the OP leaves her 14 week old baby to cry herself to sleep? Right....

OP, can I suggest you don't do that. My ds was similar, and grew out of it eventually. I did spend quite a few evenings trapped under a sleeping baby, but I just resigned myself to it and tried to enjoy having nothing else to do. Got through a lot of catch up TV! My DP would sometimes take him after a feed and walk/rock/etc him to sleep so that I could have a break.

peachesandpickles · 21/08/2013 20:36

As you are laying her into the cot gently place your hand on her chest with a very light pressure. Keep it there for about minute after you lay her down.

I read this tip on Mumsnet years ago and it really works!

MissWimpyDimple · 21/08/2013 20:38

I had this too, I used to put a hot water bottle in her cot and then more or less lay in the cot with her whilst gently extracting myself! The keeping gentle pressure is also a really good tip.

Original poster

mamabrownbear · 22/08/2013 08:06

Don't worry, not going to leave her to cry. Funnily enough I've naturally tried the hand...will keep trying! She went down for 30 minutes last night. It's a start!

OP posts:

RobotHamster · 22/08/2013 08:10

I'd give it a week or two and try again tbh. I know its a pain, but soon you will miss having your sleeping baby on your chest. Its great to get your evenings back, but this bit goes really quickly.

RobotHamster · 22/08/2013 08:11

(sorry,broody)

RobotHamster · 22/08/2013 08:12

Bloody hell lilian. Be firm? With a 14wo? Crazy.

PurplePidjin · 22/08/2013 08:19

If you're bfing, she might be cluster feeding to get enough in for overnight? My 9mo still does that at bedtime (only for 30-40 minutes, but day feeds are 5-10 minutes now!) so it's something they grow out of :)

Original poster

mamabrownbear · 22/08/2013 09:12

No it's not cluster feeding, she does do that but that's constant feeding or she cries. This is constant sleeping unless I dare move! Part of me loves it but the numb bum part of me needs to move around...

OP posts:

Sacrebleu · 22/08/2013 09:55

"Be firm"?????
Boak.

Suzieismyname · 22/08/2013 10:02

I'm with lillian3.

We had the same issue with DD1 and at about 13/14 weeks we stopped picking her up immediately and let her cry for a bit whilst shushhing and stroking her. We didn't leave her to cry alone. We just gave her the opportunity to settle herself from sleepy to asleep...

peachesandpickles · 22/08/2013 20:48

If you keep transferring her and she consistently sleeps 30 minutes you could try wake to sleep where you gently disturb her and resettle her just before she wakes up and you might be able to prolong her sleep that way.

Original poster

mamabrownbear · 28/08/2013 20:59

Nope nope nope nothing is working! She doesn't nap during the day and will only sleep in cot from 10pm. Am at a loss! This kid doesn't sleep. I have NO time to do anything! Not even poop!!

OP posts:

bvmsmummy · 28/08/2013 22:26

My LO one was the same (except at all times when sleeping after feeding not just before 10pm!). Its not hugely helpful but I would echo what a few others have said - it WILL pass and you may even miss it. I cried myself to sleep the first few nights after we moved DS into his own room at 9 months...

That said though I did work towards him learning to fall asleep on his own in his own bed. I used the No Cry Sleep Solution and Dr Sears methods and we totally did get there. He goes to sleep all by himself nowadays (15 months) and has done for ages and ages. We were gentle and worked slowly but we got there.

The main thing for me was to accept that, although extremely tiring and hard work and sometimes down right irritating it is very natural for a baby to sleep in her/his mummy's arms.

Oh and DH used to bring me pizza in bed ;) or I would just do the feed and hold thing in the livingroom in front of TV and DS would feed me! Note, do not try that with soup.

bvmsmummy · 28/08/2013 22:28

Oh and for the daytimes - have you got a sling or baby carrier? My LO one was prem so I got really into them. First I had a Wilkinet that I loved and then moved on to an Ergo which I still use. t was a total life saver in the early months. My only wish was that they would invent one I could wear in the shower!

mykingdomforasleep · 28/08/2013 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 28/08/2013 22:41

Is she too little for a grobag? I can't remember how old mine were when they had them. You could feed her and change her bum and then if she falls asleep in her nice warm comfy grobag you can transfer the whole thing into the cot, fingers crossed, without disturbing her.

We had a travel grobag. It had Velcro'd slots for seatbelts. We could get dd1 changed for bed at friends or inlaws, put her in the grobag, get her in the car seat, drive home, get her out of the car and put her to bed still in her grobag and she'd sleep the whole way through. It was brilliant.

I have to say it didn't work as well with dd2 as she wasn't as good a sleeper and would wake up when disturbed but at least we had 50% success with it!

I'm not sure if there's an age/size limit though. Can't remember, sorry.

bvmsmummy · 28/08/2013 22:47

We also used grobag to good effect! And we started to use music as start of bedtime routine around three / four months (and still do) and it really helped for soothing / routine and most importantly covering up other household noises.

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